Chapter 20
(Unknown Hurt and Young Love)
The next day after college began in a completely different way. Aishi woke up at seven in the morning, and the very first thing that came to her mind was that evening by the riverside. Every word Ayush had said seemed to float in the air. The sketch he had made was still kept safely on the pages of her diary, yet something inside her felt unusually heavy today. Without any clear reason, she remained quiet. It was as if a strange storm was swirling within her—where love, fear, and the uncertainty of the future were all tangled together.
She stepped out onto the balcony. The sky was overcast, and there was a slight chill in the air. Birds were chirping around, yet nothing felt as lively as before. Everything seemed still and colorless. The countless emotions within her were searching for a single answer—an answer to why Ayush had spoken that way, why there was so much fear in his voice, and how their love would survive against the weight of society, religion, and family.
Her mother's voice came from outside the door,
"Aishi! Don't you have college today? Why are you still sleeping?"
She responded and quickly got up. Standing in front of the mirror, she looked at herself. Her hair was messy, her eyes still heavy with sleep and traces of dreams. As she brushed her hair, Ayush's words echoed again:
"Your belief that I can handle everything—it feels like a mountain of responsibility on my shoulders."
Aishi paused, staring at herself in the mirror for a long time. It was as if she was trying to find that girl who had loved Ayush so bravely, and also the girl who now felt uncertain about her own emotions.
Her mood sank. Had she expected too much? Was Ayush even ready for all of this? Or was there some hidden hurt behind his words that she had failed to understand?
During breakfast, she stayed unusually quiet. Her mother asked,
"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
Aishi simply replied, "No, Mom… just thinking about something."
Her mother didn't say anything more, but kept looking at her a little longer. Sometimes even mothers fail to fully read their daughters' eyes.
Aishi left for college, but her steps lacked their usual rhythm. Only one thought echoed in her mind—Does Ayush really understand me?
When she reached the bus stand, the sky was still cloudy. The roads were damp, and her steps felt heavier than ever. She looked around—Ayush wasn't there. She felt a small wave of disappointment but tried to convince herself—maybe he was in the crowd, or standing somewhere else.
After waiting for a while, she boarded the bus alone. Sitting by the window, she closed her eyes, trying to recall Ayush's gentle expressions, but again and again, all she saw was his hurt face.
When she reached college, she saw Ayush standing near the classroom door. But today, his usual playful expression was missing. His face was serious.
Aishi walked up to him and said,
"Hello. You didn't wait at the bus stand today?"
Ayush replied slowly,
"I got a bit late today. I thought… maybe you would wait for me."
Aishi was taken aback. She felt a sharp ache in her voice but couldn't speak. Ayush looked into her eyes and said,
"You know, sometimes it's these small things that create big distances."
Aishi said,
"Did you think I didn't wait on purpose?"
Ayush didn't smile. He simply said,
"I don't know. Maybe not. But sometimes, silence says a lot too."
The day passed in a strange silence. Both of them stayed quiet. Even while sitting side by side in class, they felt miles apart. Their eyes met, but no words came out. The words remained trapped in their hearts—afraid that speaking might lead to misunderstanding, yet silence felt just as destructive.
During lunch break, neither of them ate. Even when friends asked, no one could understand what had gone wrong. It felt as though even they themselves didn't know what had happened—something unnamed, yet deeply felt.
A small moment—a missed wait, an unspoken word after eye contact—these tiny things had begun casting shadows over their relationship.
After class, Aishi left alone. Ayush stood at a distance, wanting to say something but stopping himself. Aishi didn't look back. There was a quiet hurt in her steps, as if she had already made some unspoken decision.
Ayush kept looking at the path she walked away on. His eyes filled with clouds of emotion. A scream remained stuck in his throat, never spoken. He wished she would turn back just once. But he didn't know that Aishi, too, was waiting for him to come forward.
Back home, Aishi spoke to no one. She shut herself in her room and sat by the window. The sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of red. Beneath that fading light, her heart trembled. She didn't know why, but she felt deeply lonely.
Ayush's hurt and her unspoken words weighed heavily on her heart. That silent restlessness was slowly consuming her.
Opening her diary, she wrote:
"Does love not understand hurt? Or is hurt itself the proof of love?
Today I didn't speak, because I was afraid. Afraid that if I spoke, you might say—I don't understand you.
But even in my silence, I left all my love for you.
Ayush… did you feel it?"
Then her eyes fell on the sketch Ayush had made. It was still exactly where she had kept it. But today, the colors seemed faded. She didn't know why. Maybe hurt spreads a strange colorlessness over the canvas of love.
As she kept staring at it, she slowly drifted to sleep—with a trace of tears in her eyes and countless unspoken words in her heart.
What will happen next?
To find out, stay tuned for the next chapter…
To be continued…