The next second.
"Haaah!!!"
Kōichi shot upright from the ground, gasping for air.
The first thing he saw was the dim sky and a magnified blue face smeared with tears and snot.
"Waaahhh! Kōichi, you idiot! You actually dared to die! You really dared to leave me behind and go see that woman!" Aqua threw herself on top of him, crying as she shook his shoulders with all her strength, hard enough to rattle the brains he had only just gotten back into mush. "Tell me! You didn't let her seduce you away, right?! You're still my follower, right?! You didn't agree to be her dog, did you?!"
Kōichi looked expressionlessly at the Goddess currently wiping her tears and snot all over his clothes.
Eris's gentle "idiot" and sweet smile were still echoing in his mind.
Then he looked at the thing in front of him.
"...Give me back my moving moment," Kōichi said coldly, then shoved Aqua's face away with one hand. "Also, next time you revive me, could you do it a little more gently? I feel like my ribs are about to crack from you lying on top of me."
"Hah?! I just saved your life!" Aqua instantly stopped crying and switched to a self-righteous expression. "And do you have any idea how much magic Resurrection takes? Tonight I'm eating the most expensive steak! You're paying!"
Beside them, Kazuma stared at Kōichi with naked envy, jealousy, and hatred.
"So? Did you see her? Did you talk to her? Did she mention me? Did she say she missed me?"
Kōichi looked at Kazuma, then suddenly flashed a wicked grin.
"Yeah, I saw her. She even called me an idiot, and her voice was ridiculously cute. As for you... I don't think she mentioned you at all."
"AAAAAHHHHH! Kōichi, I'm going to kill you!!!"
Bickering all the way, the group soon entered town.
The moment they pushed open the heavy oak doors of the Adventurers' Guild, a familiar wave of heat hit them in the face, carrying the mixed smells of cheap malt beer, grilled meat, and the sweat of rough, rowdy men.
The guild was brightly lit. It was peak hour, when adventurers gathered to brag and drink after a day's work.
Kōichi carried the still-dazed Megumin over his shoulder, Kazuma trailed behind looking utterly dejected, and Aqua had already started drooling at the sight of the counter.
"Ow!"
The moment Kōichi stepped through the doorway, a light figure happened to rush out from inside. Since Kōichi was carrying someone on his shoulder and off balance, the two slammed into each other head-on.
"Ow, ow, ow... who was that? Can't you watch where you're going... huh?"
The girl who got knocked to the floor rubbed her backside and looked up.
She had neat short silver hair and wore a fitted thief's shirt and hot pants. A faint scar at the lower left side of her face made her look both cute and boyish.
The instant Kōichi and Kazuma's eyes landed on that silver hair, both of them froze.
"S-silver hair?" Kazuma's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He pointed at the girl with a trembling finger, then turned to Kōichi. "Hey, Kōichi, look! That hair color, that outline... could it be that Eris-sama heard my prayers and came down in person to find me?!"
Kōichi, too, lost focus for a moment.
The girl in front of him had more of a tomboyish aura, but there really was something strangely familiar about her that reminded him of the gentle Goddess he had just met in the underworld.
"Um... are you two okay?" The girl, Chris, looked at the two men frozen like statues and nervously shrank her shoulders. "Sorry, sorry. I was in a hurry to turn in a quest. I'm Chris, a Thief. Are you new adventurers?"
"You're... Chris?" Kōichi snapped back to himself and shook off the unrealistic thought. "I'm Kōichi, a Wizard. This is my companion Kazuma, and that blue-haired idiot over there staring at the menu."
"Who are you calling an idiot?! Kōichi, did dying once make you bolder or what?!" Aqua roared from the distance. Then she noticed Chris and tilted her head. "Hmm? This short-haired girl... I feel like I've seen her somewhere before. She's got a weirdly familiar vibe that makes me want to drag her off to do chores."
The instant Chris heard Aqua's voice, her body twitched almost imperceptibly. Then she immediately plastered on a stiff, cheerful smile.
"Haha, really? Maybe I just have one of those common faces! Well, since you're all fine, I'll get going. Let's party up sometime if we get the chance!"
With that, she slipped out of the guild like a gust of wind, and her retreating figure radiated a very obvious, "Please don't recognize me," kind of panic.
"So it really was just wishful thinking." Kazuma dropped his head in disappointment. "There's no way Eris-sama would run around town dressed that lightly. Ah... my Goddess..."
"Mm... where... am I?"
At that moment, Megumin finally stirred on Kōichi's shoulder.
Still groggy, she opened her eyes and stared at the guild ceiling, then sniffed hard.
"This smell... it's the scent of premium marbled red frog! Kōichi! Put me down at once! Though my magic is exhausted, my stomach remains unfathomable!"
"You woke up at a good time."
Kōichi set Megumin down on a stool. She slumped there like a boneless doll, yet still forced that single red eye toward the counter with all her might.
Kōichi walked up to the counter and slammed the charred paw of the One-Punch Bear down on it with a thud.
"Luna-san, we're here to settle the quest. One-Punch Bear from the Misty Forest, subjugation complete."
The noisy guild fell silent for a full second.
Behind the counter, Luna adjusted her glasses and stared in shock at the bear paw, as big as a washbasin and smelling faintly of roasted meat.
"A-a One-Punch Bear?! That's an elite monster recommended for level twenty and above! You newcomers... actually managed to take one down?"
All around them, adventurers started crowding over, letting out waves of amazed exclamations.
"You've got to be kidding. That bear was the ruler of this whole area!"
"Look at those paws. They're charred black. What kind of crazy fire magic did you use?"
"Hmph, hmph, hmph, of course!" Megumin pushed herself up against the table and tried her best to strike a cool pose, even though her body was still wobbling. "I am Megumin! In the name of the Crimson Demon Clan's greatest mage, wielder of Explosion magic! A mere One-Punch Bear, before my ultimate spell, was nothing more than a slightly oversized lump of sealing wax!"
"Explosion magic?!" Luna's expression instantly shifted from shock to horror. "Y-you're the one who caused that massive explosion in the forest?! The Forest Fire Prevention Association has already sent in a complaint because of it! And... if that bear was killed by Explosion magic, then doesn't that mean the hide and all the materials are completely ruined?!"
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a glance, both wearing the same guilty expression.
"Um... Luna-san." Kōichi forced out an awkward laugh and pointed at the paw. "Even if the hide is gone and the meat's burnt, the bounty... should still count, right?"
Luna looked at the bear paw, which was giving off a strangely appetizing burnt smell, then at Aqua, who had drool hanging from the corner of her mouth. She let out a deep sigh, then pulled out two thick stacks of Eris from beneath the counter.
"Although part of it has been deducted for environmental damage and ruined materials, considering this was a One-Punch Bear subjugation, the bounty comes to 200,000 Eris. Please take it."
Kōichi accepted the money, handed 50,000 to Kazuma, 50,000 to Aqua, and kept 100,000 for himself, as compensation for being the leader and the team's voluntary suicide representative.
"Hey, Megumin." Kōichi turned toward the Crimson Demon girl, who was leaning on the table while her stomach growled like thunder, and gave her an incredibly radiant smile, one filled with absolutely no ulterior motives whatsoever. "That Explosion spell back there was amazing. To thank you for saving my life, order whatever you want tonight. My treat."
"Eh? R-really?" Megumin's crimson eye lit up like a ruby. She tried to preserve the dignity of a great mage, but the corner of her mouth was already leaking something suspicious. "I am Megumin, wielder of the strongest magic. Ordinarily I would never stoop to accepting charity from mere mortals... but since you are begging so sincerely, I would be rude to refuse! I want marbled red frog meat! And a large mixed grilled meat platter!"
In one corner of the guild, the four of them gathered around a table.
As steaming dish after steaming dish arrived, Megumin began eating like a whirlwind, as if she were trying to make up for an entire lifetime of missed meals.
Sitting across from her, Kōichi shot Kazuma a subtle glance.
Eye contact: Hey, Kazuma. You didn't see it for yourself, but I swear on my honor, this little brat is a walking nuclear weapon.
Kazuma shot back a deeply vulgar yet perfectly understanding look.
Eye contact: I know. She may be a flat little gremlin, but that output is no joke. If we can trick her into joining the party, farming high-level monsters will be child's play from now on. And she looks extremely easy to fool right now.
Kōichi cleared his throat, leaned forward slightly, and put on an expression of deep sincerity.
"So, Megumin. Your magic is strong, but if you collapse after firing one shot, that still makes things pretty dangerous out in the wild, right? What if you run into some lecherous beastmen or tentacle monsters..."
"Mmph... true... that does make sense..." Megumin replied through a mouthful of meat.
"That's exactly why you need companions!" Kōichi thumped his chest with righteous conviction. "Our party just happens to be missing an excellent damage dealer like you. I'm an all-around Wizard, Kazuma is... uh, bait and odd jobs, and Aqua handles Resurrection and being cute. If you join us, not only will your safety be guaranteed, we'll also cover your food every day. What do you say?"
Kōichi and Kazuma had already prepared themselves for a long negotiation, maybe even a few outrageously unequal treaty terms.
After all, a genius Arch Wizard like this had to have other powerful parties fighting to recruit her, right?
And yet.
"Phew. I'm full." Megumin set down her fork, wiped her mouth with her sleeve in a very unelegant way, and looked at the two of them with complete calm. "Sure. I'll join."
"..."
Kōichi froze.
"..."
Kazuma froze too.
"Huh? You're agreeing that easily?" Kazuma could not help asking. "Shouldn't you think about it a little more? Like the fact that our party is actually broke, Aqua's drowning in debt, and Kōichi literally tried to kill himself a little while ago..."
"It's fine." Megumin let out a sigh, and a faint sadness appeared in her eye. "Actually... I've been looking for a party in Axel for three days now. But every time I told them that I only know Explosion magic, and that I can only cast it once a day, those party leaders threw me out like garbage... You're the only people who saw me collapse and still offered to buy me dinner."
She suddenly stood up, covered her eyepatch with one hand, and let her cloak billow dramatically without wind, though in reality it was just being stirred by the force of Aqua slurping soup nearby, and resumed her full chunni pose.
"Since you possess such exceptional insight and such broad-minded hearts, I hereby acknowledge you as my comrades! From this day onward, my Explosion shall carve a path forward for you!"
"Yes! Now I can eat double portions of red frog meat!"
Aqua had not listened to a single word. She was only celebrating the arrival of a new laborer who could bring in more money.
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged a glance. They had successfully recruited a powerful new teammate, and yet somehow... the overall uselessness density of the party felt like it had gone up another level.
"Megumin." Kōichi could not help asking, "Other than Explosion magic, can you really... not do anything else at all? Not even a simple Fireball?"
Megumin shook her head solemnly. "My life has no need for such soft, weak magic. Only Explosion is romance."
"...Right."
Kōichi put a hand to his forehead.
Romantic, sure.
But there was definitely something deeply ominous about it.
...
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