Jean bent forward slightly, pressing a hand to his stomach.
"I have a stomachache," he said quickly, the words rushing out without thought, his gaze dropped to his lap. That was when he realized, with a jolt, that he was hard.
It wasn't that obvious though. No one would notice unless they were really looking. Still, it was enough to make his pulse spike.
His head snapped up as he quickly scanned his immediate surrounding. Only one person was close enough to notice. The boy sitting beside him looked exactly like what the others at school called a nerd. And right now, he was staring straight at Jean's lap.
The moment their eyes met, the boy jerked his head away.
"Mr. Green, you can leave."
This time, Jean didn't even think to correct the name. All he cared about was to make sure this didn't turn into whispers, screenshots, and another story on Gossip Girl, the account that lived off secrets and humiliation.
"No problem. I'll just wait until class is over. I don't want to miss anything. I know I'm behind in calculus, and this is my last year."
The explanation came out longer than he intended.
What a joke.
He didn't even have a book on his desk, and he was talking about taking calculus seriously.
He forced himself to look back at Mrs. Smith, who was still watching him with mild confusion.
"The class is already over. You can go see the nurse," she said.
Jean blinked.
If the class was over, why wasn't anyone leaving?
The room was still full. Students shifting in their seats, talking quietly, no one making a move toward the door.
Mrs. Smith turned back to the board. "Someone will bring you the assignment I'm about to give."
"Just go ahead, Mrs. Smith," Jean said quickly. "I told you, I'll go when the class is completely over."
There was no way he was standing up like this.
Mrs. Smith didn't argue any further, she simply started writing on the board.
Jean had never understood why she even bothered giving these assignments. Whenever she came to class asking for them and no one had done them, she never brought it up again. No scolding. No punishment.
She must really hate her job.
After Mrs. Smith left, students finally began to move.
"Hey, you. Come back," Jean called.
The boy who had been staring hesitated, then slowly turned and walked back toward him, looking startled.
Before Jean could say anything, another voice cut in. "Jean, come on, let's go to the nurse."
Jean looked up immediately.
June.
Of course.
Everyone in school thought they were dating. They even had a name for it. The "JJ couple." Meanwhile, Jean didn't even know what dating was supposed to feel like because he had never dated anyone. He had been with girls, sure, but that wasn't the same thing.
"Thanks, but I already asked Liam to escort me," Jean said, using the first name that came to mind as he gestured toward the boy.
He didn't even know if it was right.
"Please," Jean cut her off. "Not right now."
He could have just stood up and left. Just walked out. But not like this.
June stared at him, clearly irritated, before turning and walking away.
Jean didn't bother stopping her. Instead, he turned back to the boy.
"What were you looking at, Liam?" Jean asked.
It probably wasn't even his name, but that didn't matter.
"Nothing," the boy muttered, avoiding his eyes.
Jean pushed his chair back and stood.
Immediately, the boy's gaze dropped again, lingering on Jean's pants for just a second too long.
Jean smirked slightly. "You're gay, aren't you?"
"No," the boy said quickly, snapping his head up.
"No need to run from it," Jean said lightly. "It's who you are."
The irony wasn't lost on him. A week ago, he had been doing the exact same thing. Running from himself, and now he was encouraging someone else?!
"Anyway," Jean continued, his tone shifting, "why did Mrs. Smith ask if I was okay? Was it because I made some kind of sound?"
He needed to know if he had actually made noise while replaying everything with Shawn.
"Yes," Liam said quietly. "But not loud. Also… your facial expressions."
Jean's eyes widened. "You're serious?
"Yes."
"How did I sound?" Jean pressed. "Like… moaning?"
"A little."
"What does a little mean? Did it sound like it or not?"
"…No."
Jean let out a long breath of relief. "What about my facial expressions?" he asked.
"Your face turned red. And… it…"
"And what?" Jean cut in.
"I don't know how to say it."
"Oh, man…" Jean groaned under his breath.
"Why the hell didn't you snap me out of it? Forget it. And I don't think anyone else noticed, so don't let me hear about this anywhere."
Liam nodded quickly.
"From now on, you're going to sit next to me in every class. If you ever see me do that again, snap me out of it. Are we in all the same classes?" he asked.
"Yes," Liam answered.
Jean grabbed Liam's jacket and casually tied it around his waist, then slung an arm over his shoulder like they were old friends as he led them out of the classroom.
In the hallway, they almost collided with Shawn as he stepped out of one of the classrooms.
Shawn stepped back instantly before walking away.
The glance he gave Jean was brief. Too brief. Like Jean was nothing more than an inconvenience that had ruined his mood just by running into him.
Jean couldn't believe it.
How could someone pretend that well?
Something tightened in his chest. For a second, he wanted to call out to him. To follow him.
But he knew that would be stupid.
So he stayed where he was, silently.
That morning, when he had first seen Shawn at school, it had felt unreal. Like fate. Like maybe the universe was pushing them back together, even if what they had wasn't anything emotional.
But now…
He wasn't so sure anymore.
Jean turned away and kept walking with Liam, heading toward the cafeteria even though he had no idea if Liam actually wanted to go there.
But even as they walked side by side, his mind was entirely elsewhere.
Shawn had been acting distant ever since they met, sure, but today felt different. It sounded real this time, like he actually meant it. Maybe he had only reacted that way because he was caught off guard this morning.
Maybe he was trying harder now to push him away because he didn't want to get involved with a student.
Or maybe he had already heard about Jean's parents, about who they were, and decided he didn't want to take the risk.
Either way, Jean refused to let Shawn act like what had happened between them had never interested him, even once.
Shawn would rather just admit the truth to him. That yes, he liked him. He liked what they did. But they couldn't continue for this reason and that reason. Maybe then Jean would stop bothering him, if he was even bothering him at all.
And if Shawn was going to be stubborn and push him away the hard way, then he was wasting his time. Because he was just as stubborn. Shawn should know that by now.
But even as Jean told himself he would stay away after Shawn admitting the truth, something inside him kept resisting the thought. Like it wasn't possible to simply decide he didn't want to see Shawn again.
He told himself it was probably because Shawn was the first man he had ever been that close to. It didn't mean he was starting to like him like that, or developing feelings. That would be ridiculous.
Once Shawn cleared things up, Jean would meet someone else. The whole Shawn situation would end.
They needed to have a grown-up conversation. They were both adults, and they should act like it, Jean thought, already planning how he would sneak out again and go to Shawn's place.