"What are you doing?" Jean asked, unable to hide the frustration in his voice when Shawn suddenly pulled his fingers out.
Shawn only chuckled, like he knew exactly what he was doing.
He reached over to the bedside table and picked up the CD, and all Jean could think was that Shawn was wasting time, he could have just done it already without that thing.
"Wanna put it on me?" Shawn asked.
The idea of it did sound exciting… but not nearly as much as what Jean actually wanted, to feel him inside already.
Shawn didn't even wait for an answer.
Still on his knees, he moved forward, positioning himself near Jean's upper body so Jean could reach him easily. Jean lay back between Shawn's legs.
It was obvious Shawn liked this. Either he enjoyed letting the other person put the condom on him… or he was stalling on purpose, waiting to see if Jean would break and beg.
But Jean refused to.
No matter what Shawn did, he wasn't going to beg.
Shawn handed him the condom, and Jean rolled it onto Shawn's cock, his fingers sliding along the length as he pushed it down.
Shawn shifted back, settling properly between Jean's legs again.
Jean could already feel the heat of Shawn's cock pressing against him, but not where he wanted it.
He wanted it inside.
Wanted it to hit that exact spot Shawn had found earlier.
Shawn leaned down and kissed him just as he began to push in slowly and carefully.
The difference hit Jean immediately.
His fingers had been one thing.
This was something else entirely.
Shawn's lips moved against Jean's, his tongue sliding in, demanding attention.
And it worked.
Jean couldn't ignore the heat of the kiss, the way Shawn's mouth moved against his, but at the same time, he couldn't escape the stretch either, he flinched as Shawn slowly pushed in deeper.
Shawn seemed to notice, maybe that was why the kiss deepened instantly and became more consuming, while one of Shawn's hands slid between them, wrapping around Jean's cock and stroking him slowly.
That was it.
Jean's senses were completely taken over.
Shawn's hand. Shawn's mouth. Shawn's body pushing into him.
A moan slipped out of Jean, raw and uncontrolled.
The sound seemed to flip a switch in Shawn, like confirmation that Jean was completely lost to him.
Without hesitation, he pushed in fully in one smooth thrust. Jean's breath hitched violently as he was filled to the hilt, the sudden fullness crashing into that exact spot he had been aching for.
His whole body reacted at once- shivering and tightening around Shawn.
Shawn shuddered too.
"Hmmm…" Shawn had moaned, the sound low and rough. It was the first time Jean had heard him moan out loud. "You're something else…" he had muttered breathlessly before leaning down to kiss him again, cutting off any chance for Jean to ask what he meant.
Jean had intended to ask, but the moment Shawn started moving. Everything disappeared.
His thoughts scattered.
All that remained were the sounds slipping from his mouth.
"What's that… that you're pressing against?" Jean managed to force out, his voice uneven, breaking between breaths.
The sensation was too much. He thought he understood most things about gay sex, but right now, he felt completely lost.
"It's not my job to teach you everything, Mr. Green," Shawn said, his voice breaking apart as his pace picked up, thrusts growing deeper, harder.
"You ahh…" Jean's words collapsed into a moan as Shawn drove into him again, like he was intentionally shutting him up. But Jean pushed through it. "You know my name?"
"You… showed me your… ID… remember?" Shawn managed between thrusts.
The fact that Shawn was struggling to speak just as much almost made Jean smile.
"Do I feel that good?" Jean asked, a faint smirk forming despite everything.
Shawn's response came in the form of a harder thrust, as if he had chosen action over words.
Jean's head fell back, his body shuddering as the force of it pushed him further toward the edge.
Jean huffed softly, unable to believe Shawn would do that just to shut him up. So he refused to stay quiet and spoke again.
"Aren't you going to answer my first question?" Jean pressed.
"You're not living in the old times," Shawn muttered, breath uneven. "Search it."
"I want to know from you… ahh…" Jean's voice shook.
Shawn didn't answer, if anything, he seemed more focused on pulling moans out of Jean than words.
Jean found himself fighting for control. "How about this…" he added, his voice unsteady, "if you tell me… you might get a reward."
"You're stubborn," Shawn muttered, pushing harder. Jean moaned, his body following his rhythm. "What kind of reward?" Shawn asked, his hips moving just enough to keep Jean distracted, like he had no intention of letting him say a word.
Jean almost lost the ability to speak entirely.
"The reward is… mmh… I might let you do this again… another day," He managed, fully aware Shawn had already told him not to come back.
"I told you not to show up here again," Shawn said.
"I… don't believe you don't want to see me again…" Jean breathed out, barely holding onto the words. "Not when you're like this…"
Shawn didn't respond.
One deep, devastating thrust.. And Jean broke.
He came hard, his body tensing, his cock throbbing as release spilled across his stomach.
Shawn followed right after, his body jerking, pressing down against Jean as both of them were pulled into the same overwhelming finish.
--
Jean forced his memory to stop there this time because when he tried to go beyond that point, all he felt was anger at himself- especially after Shawn had called him disgusting just minutes ago.
Maybe it was because he kept throwing himself at him even after Shawn had told him not to come back.
Jean hadn't planned on going back. The day he first met Shawn, he'd made a promise to himself that he would tear Shawn's ego down, drag it through the mud.
But somehow, it was his own pride that ended up there instead.
Two days after they slept together, he couldn't take it anymore.
The feeling wouldn't leave him. It was restless- like something clawing at him from the inside. The longer he stayed away, the worse it got, until it felt like he might actually lose his mind if he didn't see Shawn again… if he didn't feel him again.
He wanted him even more than he had the first time they met.
He tried to ignore it. He really did. But it didn't work.
So he gave in. Swallowed his pride and went back.
And when Shawn opened the door and saw him, there were no questions. Shawn simply grabbed him and pulled him inside, like he'd been hoping he would go back.
Like he needed it just as much.
But every time it was over, Shawn would turn cold again.
-
"Mr. Green."
A woman's voice cut through the haze in Jean's head, dragging him back to the present.
His thoughts scattered instantly, the vivid memory snapping apart as his eyes refocused.
He was still in calculus class.
Rows of desks. Half-bored students. Low murmurs.
And the one calling him was Mrs. Smith.
"Jean," he corrected automatically.
Couldn't they at least wait until he had graduated and was actually earning something before slapping that title on him? He knew it wasn't necessary to be working before being referred to that way, but he simply didn't like it.
Still, the correction came more out of instinct than annoyance. If anything, it helped sell the idea that he had been paying attention.
"Are you alright?" Mrs. Smith asked.
Jean frowned slightly.
He had been called out… just for that? A sudden, horrible thought hit him.
What if... while he had been lost replaying everything with Shawn, he had actually made a sound?
What if he had moaned in the middle of class without realizing it?
His body went rigid.