Jean found himself in the library, a place he had never been before. He needed a quiet space anyway, his head was throbbing and everything felt too loud in his mind.
Another reason was Shawn's class. He hadn't heard anything, hadn't understood a single thing from the unit, and Shawn had made it clear that the pass mark was sixty.
And if all Jean was going to do was sit in class and drift off into his thoughts every time he saw him, then he would have to find another way to study.
The library wasn't busy, especially on the second floor. He searched for a few history books, then sat down at a table.
But the moment he tried to focus, sleep kept pulling at him. His head kept dropping until it almost hit the table.
He straightened up quickly, shook himself awake, and tried again, but nothing was sinking in.
Eventually, he closed the book and decided to rest just for a moment. The second his head touched the table, his phone started buzzing with notifications, one after another, until it sounded almost like a song.
He frowned. What was going on?
Curiosity pushed the sleep away as he unlocked it quickly.
The notifications were from the school gossip group. His eyes narrowed as he opened it and noticed his name everywhere.
-It's Jean.
-It's Jean Green, he's the one who's been spending time with him.
-I've never seen him with anyone else but Jean.
-So that's what was going on?!
-It can't be Jean. He's not gay.
-If I were gay I'd end myself for sure man.
-How could he do that? It's disgusting.
-He was my crush. Not anymore.
-Gross.
-You guys mean the perfect Jean?
-Even if he's really gay, couldn't he have chosen someone better.
-The other day, he was even tying that boy's jacket around his waist… really, how blind were we? They weren't even hiding it.
Jean's hand started shaking so badly he almost dropped the phone. His name was in every comment, but what hit him hardest was the word being repeated over and over again.
Gay.
This was never supposed to come out. But what was the post even about? It couldn't be Shawn. The only person he had been seen with recently was Ian.
What did he do?
Jean scrolled faster, panic rising in his chest, ignoring the growing chaos outside the library that he could now hear faintly in the distance.
His fingers felt heavy, slow, like they didn't belong to him. By the time he reached the post, he was sweating.
It was an image of Ian kissing someone in the bathroom. A boy. The face wasn't visible, not even their clothes clearly shown, but the setting was unmistakable.
The men's bathroom.
Not only that, but... Ian's face tilted up, a man's hands holding him in place.
Jean's breath caught.
No. No, no, no.
The first thought that hit him wasn't even about the scandal or the rumors. It was Shawn.
Shawn might think this was him. That Jean had finally taken his advice and gone after someone his age instead of him. Worse, Shawn might think Jean had moved on completely.
But of course, the rumours scared him too. He wasn't ready for this.
He pushed back his chair so fast it scraped loudly against the floor and rushed out of the library, determined to find Ian and fix this. But the moment he stepped outside, the noise hit him.
The entire corridor had shifted. Students were pointing. Phones were up. Everything felt like it had stopped just for him.
His steps slowed.
His chest tightened.
All he could hear was the word being thrown around everywhere.
Gay.
Someone stepped into his path. The pressure in the air changed instantly. June.
Her face was sharp, twisted with hurt and anger.
"So this is why you've been rejecting me?" she snapped. "Because you're gay? Because you prefer guys over me?"
Gasps broke out. Cameras moved closer.
"It's not me!" Jean shouted, panic breaking through his voice, but it was swallowed by the noise.
June didn't even wait for more. She shoved past him and walked away.
And just like that, everything collapsed further.
Jean stood there, frozen, realizing with horror that now his parents were going to hear about this too- because of June.
He stopped going to search for Ian and turned back toward the classroom instead. He grabbed his belongings and stormed out toward the gates.
His car was already waiting as usual, and the moment he got in, it pulled away.
His head was throbbing. He tried to ignore everything, but it was impossible. He took out his phone and searched for Ian in the group chat, scrolling until he found him among the members.
He dialed the number again and again, but Ian wasn't picking up.
Anger rose in him as he kept dialing, over and over, with no response.
When he finally looked up from his phone, he caught sight of Ian disappearing down a side road that branched off from the main street into a quieter path.
He recognized him instantly by the clothes and the way he walked.
"Stop the car," Jean said sharply.
The car barely had time to slow down before he was already out, running toward him.
"Ian, stop!" he shouted.
But when Ian noticed him, he started running too.
Jean ran faster, pushing himself until he caught up and grabbed Ian by the jacket, yanking him back hard.
"What the fuck, Ian?!" Jean snapped, anger sharp in every word. "Who is it? Who the fuck is it?"
Ian didn't answer. He was trembling, panicking, looking completely shaken.
That sight made Jean's anger hesitate. Whatever this was, it didn't look like something Ian had planned. And Jean was the one who had insisted on sticking around him in the first place. If he hadn't, no one would even be suspecting him right now.
"Ian, I need you to tell them it's not me," Jean said, his voice firm now but no longer shouting.
But even as he said that, he knew words alone wouldn't be enough to convince everyone it wasn't him. He needed to know the guy Ian had been with.
"Who is it?" he asked again, quieter this time.
"I can't tell," Ian said quickly. "I… can't tell."
"Why?" Jean demanded. "Because he told you not to? So what, he get to hide while you take all the heat? You can kiss in private, but when it becomes public, you're the only one left to deal with it? I'm the one getting dragged into his mess. Just tell me who it is. I won't let him do anything to you."
"I can't tell," Ian repeated, louder this time, and suddenly broke free, running again.
Jean stood there for a moment, his strength draining out of him all at once. He sank down, dragging his hands through his hair, massaging his scalp before dragging them down his face. When he finally opened his eyes, he unexpectedly saw Asher appear from another route that led back to the main road Jean was on.
He was still moving forward at first, about to continue down the street, but the moment he saw Jean, he froze.
"Asher?" Jean called out in disbelief.
"I was actually coming to check on you. Are you okay?" Asher replied, but something in his voice felt off again, the same strange tone he had earlier when he was asking about Jean suddenly spending time with Ian.
"If you were coming to check on me, why are you on this road?" Jean asked.
"Because I'm using shortcuts. I don't have a car, do I?" Asher answered, this time sounding more confident.
Jean almost laughed at himself for even letting the thought cross his mind that Asher could be the guy in the picture.
It was impossible.
Asher had a girlfriend. He was the basketball king of the school- the dream guy every girl talked about, calm, cool, always surrounded by attention. And once, he had even said clearly that if he ever found out he was gay, he would rather end himself, that he would never touch a guy like that.
That thought should have ended it. But then another one slipped in.
Jean was the "dream guy" for a lot of girls too, and yet he was gay. So what exactly about Asher's image made him untouchable from that possibility?
Still… Jean pushed the thought away.
It couldn't be Asher.
And he left it at that.