Jayjay's POV
My head hurt.
A lot.
Everything felt heavy.
Slow.
I frowned slightly, shifting.
Something felt… off.
Not my pillow.
Not my bed.
Warm.
I blinked slowly, my vision clearing bit by bit.
And then—
I froze.
I wasn't lying on a pillow.
I was lying on—
A lap.
My breath hitched as my eyes focused.
Keifer Watson
He was sitting against the headboard, head tilted slightly back, eyes closed.
Asleep.
And I was on him.
My cheek resting against his chest.
My hand still gripping his shirt.
Tightly.
My heart skipped.
Memories came back in fragments.
The club.
The drinks.
Crying.
Him.
My breath caught.
Oh.
I stayed still.
Too aware.
Did I really…?
My fingers tightened slightly.
That's when he moved.
His hand shifted faintly against my arm.
Then slowly—
His eyes opened.
We just stared at each other.
Too close.
"…You're awake," he said quietly.
I sat up quickly.
"I— I didn't mean to—"
I stopped.
"…Why am I here?" I asked instead.
"You fell asleep."
A pause.
"You didn't let go."
Heat rushed to my face.
"…You should've moved me," I muttered.
"You needed it."
I glanced at him.
Just for a second.
Something in his tone felt… softer.
I looked away.
"I'll get ready," I said, standing up.
He didn't stop me.
No cold words.
No distance.
Just silence.
But not the same silence.
Not empty.
Not harsh.
Just… different.
The whole day felt off.
I couldn't focus.
Not on anything.
Because every time I closed my eyes—
I remembered.
The way he held me.
The way I held him back.
And it made my chest feel tight.
That night—
I couldn't sleep.
I turned, restless.
Then—
A sound.
Low.
Strained.
My heart skipped.
I sat up.
Listened.
It came again.
From down the hall.
I got up.
Walked out.
The house was silent.
But that sound—
It led me straight to his door.
I hesitated.
Then pushed it open.
Keifer Watson
He was on the bed.
Restless.
Breathing hard.
His hands clenched in the sheets.
"…No—"
His voice was strained.
Like he was fighting something.
"Don't—"
His grip tightened.
"Don't come back…"
My breath caught.
I rushed to him.
"Keifer…"
No response.
I touched his arm.
"Keifer."
His body tensed—
Then suddenly—
His eyes snapped open.
Breathing uneven.
His gaze found mine.
And before I could react—
He grabbed my wrist.
Pulled me closer.
I fell onto the bed beside him.
His arms wrapped around me.
Tight.
Desperate.
His face buried in my neck.
I froze.
This wasn't him.
Not the cold version.
Not the controlled one.
This was—
Broken.
"…Stay."
Barely a whisper.
My heart softened.
Slowly—
Carefully—
I relaxed.
My hands rested against him.
Not pushing him away.
Just there.
"It's okay…" I whispered.
Even if I didn't understand.
Even if I didn't know what he saw.
"It's okay…"
His grip loosened slightly.
But he didn't let go.
And this time—
I didn't move.
I stayed.
Until his breathing slowed.
Until he fell asleep again.
Still holding me.
And I didn't leave.
The next day—
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
The way he looked.
The way he held me.
The way he said—
"Don't come back."
I found him later.
Standing near the window.
Quiet.
But now—
I knew that silence held something.
I walked toward him slowly.
"…About last night," I said.
He didn't turn.
"What about it?"
"You had a nightmare."
Silence.
"I'm fine."
I shook my head slightly.
"You don't have to tell me…"
A pause.
"…but I want to understand."
He went still.
Then slowly—
Turned.
"There was someone."
My breath caught.
"He was the only one who didn't treat me like… this."
I stayed quiet.
"Everyone else saw a future boss."
A pause.
"He saw a kid."
My chest tightened.
"He used to say feeling things doesn't make you weak."
A small pause.
"He was wrong."
My heart dropped.
"What happened?" I asked softly.
Silence.
Then—
"He died."
My breath stilled.
"How…?"
His jaw tightened.
"I hesitated."
My eyes widened slightly.
"I could've done something."
His voice dropped.
"I didn't."
Silence filled the space.
"It wasn't your fault," I whispered.
His eyes snapped to mine.
"It was."
And the way he said it—
There was no doubt.
No hesitation.
Just truth.
He was quiet for a moment after that.
Then—
"…That's why I don't believe in feelings."
His voice was low.
"They make you hesitate."
A pause.
"And hesitation… gets people killed."
My chest tightened.
"That's why I stayed away from you."
My eyes lifted to his.
"Why I didn't talk to you at first."
His jaw clenched slightly.
"Because I knew."
A pause.
"I knew if I let myself get close…"
His gaze met mine.
"…I wouldn't be able to stop."
My heart skipped.
"I knew I'd fall for you."
Everything inside me stilled.
"And I don't do that."
His voice lowered.
"Because the moment I care about someone…"
"…they get hurt."
My throat tightened.
"I don't stay close to people."
"Not because I don't feel anything…"
A small pause.
"…but because I feel too much."
My fingers curled.
"And every time I do…"
"…I lose them."
Silence.
"And I'm not making that mistake again."
My chest felt heavy.
Then—
He looked at me again.
No walls.
No distance.
Just something raw.
"…But I did."
My breath caught.
"I tried not to."
"I kept my distance."
"I ignored you."
His jaw tightened.
"I made you feel like you didn't matter."
Guilt hit me instantly.
Hard.
You made me feel like I was nothing.
"And still…"
A pause.
"…I fell for you."
My heart stopped.
"No matter how hard I tried not to."
Silence.
I couldn't move.
Because everything I said—
Came rushing back.
You don't care.
My chest tightened painfully.
I was wrong.
So wrong.
He did care.
More than I ever saw.
And I—
I didn't even try to understand.
Guilt wrapped around me slowly.
Heavy.
I stepped closer.
Carefully.
My hand lifted slightly—
Then gently held his.
Soft.
Hesitant.
"I…" my voice broke slightly.
I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry felt too small.
Everything felt too small.
So I just held his hand.
And this time—
He didn't pull away.