"Even though the Holy Grail War has many variants and different origins, from what I know, people mainly use the story of the three families—Tohsaka, Einzbern, and Matou."
"So what you're saying is... The Holy Grail was created, and Servants are summoned to help fill the Grail?"
"Yes. Although it sounds cruel and inhumane, we don't really care. After all, we're just shells with the memories of heroes from the Throne of Heroes."
At the moment, Robert was sitting at a small table, watching his Servant cook.
'She's really acting like a proper Servant, huh? Guess you really can't judge a book by its cover,' Robert thought to himself.
Saber then opened the refrigerator and looked inside.
...It was completely filled with yogurt cups, packed to the brim.
"You really like yogurt, don't you?" Saber turned around and asked.
"Yeah, it's good for digestion."
"No one buys this much and fills up the entire fridge, Master..."
She sighed, then reached for a few ingredients.
"Although the Holy Grail was successfully created, it ended up causing one problem," she said while examining a tomato before placing it on a plate.
"It takes several decades before the Grail can be used again, and only one person can make a wish on it. For Magus, who don't even have basic morals—it's no surprise that conflicts arise and the Holy Grail War begins."
"..."
Selfish, greedy, and only thinking about themselves.
That is humanity.
"Haizzz..." Robert sighed, looking up at the ceiling.
Why am I not surprised? Or have I just become too jaded?
"That's why the Holy Grail War was born and became an unwritten rule. Once you become a Master, you have to fight to the end. People die because they get killed—isn't that right?" Saber said.
...Hmm? Why does that last line sound like something a Seigi no Mikata would say?
"But don't worry. Because I'm here, I will protect Master until I die... Ah, I'm already dead though," Saber said with a light smile. She turned on the stove and dropped the tomatoes into the pot.
"Is there really no way to avoid this? Are human lives that cheap?"
"Master, among all things, human life originally has no value at all. It only gains value when you yourself decide it does." She chopped the onions and checked the boiling water.
"...Tch, so I guess I have no choice but to accept it."
Robert decided to turn on the TV to kill time while she was cooking.
He was supposed to go to work today, but he had taken the day off due to injury. This was also the best way to absorb all the information Saber was telling him.
"By the way, this Holy Grail War is a bit special."
"Special how?"
"What do they call it again... Oh right, game elements. Normally, the Holy Grail War is just a battle between Masters and Servants. There are no upgrade materials or anything like that. But this one has them. It even has a Beast-class Servant."
"Is it bad?"
"Extremely bad. Other things aside, the presence of a Beast Servant means this world is probably about to be destroyed."
...That was some seriously shocking information. I shouldn't have asked.
"But usually, when the world faces a great disaster, Grand Servants are summoned to resolve it... For some reason, your world didn't summon any Grand Servants. It looks like we'll have to rely on normal Servants like me."
Having to fight both the Beast and each other at the same time... That sounds really terrible...
[Hello everyone, this is the super beautiful reporter Taiga Fujimaru! Get a nice angle, Mr. Cameraman!]
[Miss, we're live...]
[It's fine, it's fine! Television needs a charming and attractive female reporter to boost viewership! Alright, back to the main story!]
[Last night, for some unknown reason, a horrifying incident occurred. How horrifying? Let me show you!]
[Miss Fujimura... You don't need to use body gestures to describe it...]
[Okay okay, Ahem! To let everyone know how big it was, come closer to the thing that collapsed President Slump's house!]
The camera then zoomed in on the object.
...It was a giant, grotesque penis—the most disgusting thing imaginable. No mistaking it. It was definitely the result of yesterday's battle between the Servants and Beast Lust.
[How terrifying! Even Zeus would be scared looking at this!]
[Miss Fujimura, you don't need to get close and touch it...]
[I'm touching it just to describe the texture! How does it feel... Not as hard as Shiro—wait, I shouldn't say his name. I mean, not as hard as the Metal Pipe that Sanada Enimura used to block that Irish dog's attack!]
[Well, from what I know, this thing suddenly appeared yesterday for no clear reason. Maybe a gas leak?]
[Miss Fujimura, it was a gas leak. The Church already explained it.]
[Oh! Of course! It must be a gas leak. Only a gas leak could make this giant thing smash into President Slump's house! Hahaha!]
[Anyway, I'm getting hungry. We'll continue later. Shirouuu!]
The TV then switched to commercials.
"..."
"..."
Saber and Robert looked at the TV, then at each other.
"...Is this considered normal?"
"That's a question I should be asking you..."
*Bubble bubble bubble
"Oh, it's boiling." Saber immediately turned back to the stove.
Meanwhile, Robert was deep in thought.
'Strange. They didn't mention the police station at all, but brought up the Church instead?'
Normally, the police would handle these kinds of incidents, no matter how ridiculous.
But suddenly the Church appears? Although Saber did mention that the Church allows Masters to heal their bodies or replenish Command Spells twice...
...He'd ask Saber about it later to be sure.
"Master."
Saber's voice rang out, making him turn to look.
A plate of tomato spaghetti was placed in front of him.
"Oh, it looks delicious. Guess I really shouldn't judge by appearances," Robert praised as he picked up a fork.
"Thank you. My cooking practice wasn't for nothing," Saber smiled, then placed an even larger plate of spaghetti on the table for herself.
"..." Robert stared at the terrifying amount of food and slowly broke into a sweat.
"...This is?"
"Ah, since your mana reserves are quite low, eating is currently the most efficient way to replenish it. So I have to eat a lot."
"Personally, I quite like eating, so this is also how I enjoy life while I'm still alive that time," she smiled, then picked up her fork and began eating.
In just one bite, two-tenths of the food disappeared.
"..."
He watched as Saber finished the entire massive plate in just one minute. One minute.
"Hmm, that was just enough for a light snack," she said, then carried the plate to the sink.
"..." Robert kept sweating.
He had a feeling that... if this continued, his wallet was going to end up inside Saber's stomach.