"Berserker, who only enjoyed two days of life, may you rest in peace." Saber gently covered him with a soft cloth, closing her eyes with a sorrowful expression.
"This war... is truly raw and cruel. Berserker is already dead on just the second day..." Robert mourned, tears falling from his eyes... though I wasn't sure if they were real or fake.
Oh, Berserker... The look on his face as he passed was truly painful... His tongue was sticking out, his eyes were crossed, and there was a clear tire mark right across his face.
Even in death, he still looked like a dog. Poor guy.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A DOG?!" Cú Alter suddenly sat up, his face twisted like an angry Pitbull.
"Oh, you're still alive? As expected of a hero from history," Robert clapped.
"You think I won't kill you?!"
"It's fine, it's fine. I don't fight defeated opponents. You can withdraw," Saber patted Cú Alter on the shoulder with a sympathetic look.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?!"
Cú Alter stood up and summoned his Gáe Bolg.
"What's this? Servants aren't supposed to fight in broad daylight. Do you want people to see you?" Saber glared at him.
"Hah, you think I care? If anyone sees, we just silence them, right?" Cú Alter grinned sharply.
"You—!"
Oh shit, a Pokémon battle is about to start!
"Gáe Bol—"
"Ah! That dog is stepping on a toy spider!" a child holding his mother's hand said.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DOG—"
Squish.
"Ah."
He looked down. His foot had stepped on another toy spider with a timer on it.
**BOOOOM!!!**
"I SWEAR I'LL KILL THE BASTARD WHO PLANTED THESE BOMBS!!!" He was blasted into the sky, roaring loudly before disappearing into the sky.
"Lancer ga shinda!"
"You're not a human!!"
Poor guy. This dog is always so unlucky.
"Son! You can't say that to strangers, that's very rude!"
"But mom, that dog was rabid."
"Dogs are people too, son!"
"Just because you correct doesn't mean you right."
Hey hey hey, how do you know that line?!
"Master, this thing..." Saber picked up the exploded toy spider and showed it to Robert.
"Could it be..."
"Yeah. It's highly likely made by a Servant. This is very finely crafted and fully automatic, so the probability is high that it's..."
Caster.
Or possibly Assassin.
Or maybe even Rider.
"Wait, Rider would make something like this? That doesn't seem like his style at all," Robert said.
"Master, even the guy who only fights with swords turned out to be Archer. So a Rider making these isn't that surprising, is it?"
"Then why not Archer or Lancer? Don't you suspect them at all?"
Saber then imagined Lancer and Archer making toy spiders.
[Smoke smoke!] Lancer took a drag from his cigarette and blew out the smoke, which transformed into an extremely cute toy spider.
Hmm, possible. As for Archer...
[Hey! It's time for dinner! Stop playing with the toys I bought you when you were little!] Archer, wearing an apron and holding a spatula, scolded the boy playing with spider toys.
Hmm, it's probably her... That feels pretty accurate...
'What the hell is she thinking about?' Robert thought as he watched Saber lost in her own thoughts. He then looked around.
She mentioned that besides gunpowder, there was also the smell of poison... Maybe she picked it up from a lab, or there really is a Servant who specializes in poison... Using both bombs and poison? Is this terrorist trying to wipe out the entire school?
"Saber, that 'scent of mystery' you mentioned earlier, where is it?" Robert asked.
"Right here," Saber pointed straight at the school building.
"And what is 'that' mystery?"
"The mystery is when you find something hidden, and once you find it, it's no longer a mystery."
"...Hey, I didn't ask you to explain it philosophically."
Whatever. If she doesn't know, then she doesn't know. Let's find the person who made these toy spiders first.
Saber returned to her Spiritual Form. Robert walked through the school gate and observed everything.
He didn't dare enter the school building yet, as he had no real authority or legitimate reason to go inside. It was already lucky enough that he could pass the gate by showing proof that he was a police officer.
As a police officer serving the people, he had to thoroughly check any factors that could harm them.
Even this Holy Grail War — the Grail can grant any wish, right?
'Then I wish for a world of peace where humans don't kill each other, and this pointless war will disappear and cease to exist, harming no innocent civilians.'
(First mistake.)
"Master, the smell of poison is coming from inside the school building. This poison is no joke. It's very likely from a Servant."
Saber really has an incredibly sensitive nose... Just like a dog...
No wonder she and that Berserker didn't seem compatible. A good dog meeting a rabid dog is never a good thing.
After walking for a while, they reached the school's enormous sports building, which even had its own sports field.
"I wish I had gone to a school like this back then. Looking back, my old school compared to this one is literally heaven and earth apart."
"How bad was it, Master?" Saber asked curiously.
"The toilets were like pigsties. There was no proper gymnasium, just a tiny yard where three laps would tire you out. The teachers only cared about their salaries and had zero passion. The students were all smokers and rude as hell. The fact that I still passed the exams back then was a miracle."
"Why does that sound exactly like the fairies from my time?"
"Fairies? I thought fairies were supposed to be good or something."
"...Fairies don't have the concept of good or evil. They live in pure innocence. You just need to know that... eating humans is one of the smallest things they can do."
...Alright. Suddenly my old school doesn't seem so bad compared to those fairies. This comparison is heavily leaning toward the fairies.
"Master, please stop," Saber suddenly appeared and stood in front of Robert, blocking his path.
"What is it, Saber?"
"...You'd better come out. Your way of hiding is basically provoking me," Saber glared sharply toward a dark corner.
She had detected someone.
"Oh my! Oh my oh my oh my oh myyyyyy! Do you see me? You saw me, right?! Oh!!" A wildly insane, extremely unsettling voice rang out.
...Why does this voice sound a bit like that muscular blond vampire?
"You are..." Saber narrowed her eyes.
"OH MYYYYY!! This Seiba... You are... so upright! Yes! Upright upright upright! You are definitely super super UPRIGHT!"
What the hell is this madman saying??
"Instead of attacking immediately, you... warned me... Oh!! Oh!!!!! You are truly kind! Way too kind!!"
This guy finally revealed himself — a clown with pale white skin and purple hair, holding a pair of scissors.
"...We're screwed, Master. It looks like we've run into someone who just escaped from a mental hospital," she whispered into Robert's ear.
"Oh?! You even whispered to... your MESTER!! Could this be... LOVE?!??"
Yep, this guy is extremely unstable. Best to send him back to the psych ward.
"So exciting!! Mephistopheles gets to meet such an upright female knight! My heart is going to explode from your kindness!!!!"
"!!" Saber's eyes widened. She assessed the Servant in front of her and pushed Robert back.
"What's wrong, Saber?"
"...This is bad. This guy isn't just a normal lunatic, Master."
"OH YAAA?! You figured it out already?! You figured it out!!"
He flashed an extremely excited smile.
"If that's the case, then no problem! Since you're this kind, it would be unfair if I didn't repay your kindness!"
"Damn it!" Saber broke into a cold sweat. She picked up Robert and ran away.
She was confident she could defeat the opponent, but the problem was that this opponent was extremely troublesome.
The kind of troublesome that would happily kill everyone around him with a smile.
And Robert was here, which meant he was in danger!
Just as expected, a toy bug with a timer suddenly appeared inside Robert's collar, making her jump.
"Damn it!" Saber swung her hand hard, sending the bug flying away.
"W-What was that?!"
"We're retreating! Next time I'll investigate alone. You stay hidden!"
"What—"
Suddenly Saber stopped, leaving the already confused Robert even more puzzled.
"...Tch, a bounded field."
"THAT'S RIGHT! Ding ding!! 100 points to Seiba! There's a prize waiting for you!!" Caster appeared right behind them with a cheerful expression.
"Great, so you're Caster and you've made this school your territory. That means you're targeting the lives of the students," Saber glared at him.
"You're so smart! Super smart! A genius! Too bad there's only one prize~"
Robert felt a bit dizzy as he looked at the Caster in front of him.
He really looked creepy and unpleasant. A clown in weird clothes with an extremely twisted personality.
Could Saber really handle him?
"It's only the second day and you're already this prepared... Did your Master use a Command Seal?" She looked around and saw countless toy spiders hidden in the bushes.
"Correct! Another 100 points to Seiba!"
...This guy is way too honest for his own good.
"So who's your Master?!" Robert asked directly. Since the guy was blurting everything out anyway, might as well ask.
"My Master? Oh!! You're very curious, huh?! In that case, I'll tell you if you come a little closer!!"
...Are you kidding me? You really want to kill me that badly?
"I fell for such a simple trap. How can I call myself a Servant after this?!" Saber clenched her fist, saying something Robert thought was unnecessary.
"Caster! Just say it! Whatever gift you want to give Saber, first tell us your Master's name!" Robert demanded.
"Of course!! I keep my promises. My Mester's name is—"
"That's enough, Caster."
A familiar voice rang out, causing Robert's eyes to widen.
He slowly turned his head and looked at the person who had entered Caster's territory.
"Oh ya? Oh ya oh ya oh ya? Why won't you let me reveal the name? We were just reaching the climax!"
"Caster, I'll introduce myself. No need to reveal it."
Robert stared at the man standing beside Caster — that familiar figure, that familiar smile.
"Yo! Long time no see. Did you miss me?"
"You..." Robert's hands clenched tightly.
How could he forget? This was the bastard who committed crimes and was declared innocent.
"DONAN JOHN!!!"
"So you still remember me, Officer?" Donan smiled, a smile full of malice.
"Me...? I REMEMBER YOU VERY WELL!!!" Donan roared, making Robert grit his teeth and glare furiously.
The two people in front of him made a perfect pair.
A terrorist and a mad Servant who loved using bombs.
They matched each other terrifyingly well.