Jessica's POV
In the middle of all that chaos, I tried to distract myself.
Games, random conversations, anything that could keep my mind busy.
But nothing worked.
The more days passed… the more it hurt.
It didn't fade.
It grew.
So I started sharing everything with someone else.
Sam.
My PUBG mate.
At first, he was just a common friend. We weren't even that close. We had only met once coincidentally, and then again at a small friend meet-up.
But after everything that happened…
I started talking to him more.
Every day.
I told him everything—about my life, about Johnathan, about how broken I felt.
And he listened.
Months passed like that.
One night, I was completely shattered again. Crying, texting him nonstop, telling him how lonely I felt.
He also shared his story—about his first love, someone he knew since childhood.
We were both… broken in our own ways.
Then that night—
He said something I didn't expect.
"You've suffered a lot in your life… I wish I could marry you."
I froze.
I stared at the message, my heart confused, my mind racing.
Was this… an answer to all those nights I prayed?
All those tears I cried, asking God for someone who would finally choose me?
Then he quickly added, "Don't mind what I said."
But I didn't ignore it.
Instead, I asked—
"Do you want to marry me?"
Even I didn't fully understand why I said that.
Maybe I just wanted a way out.
A way to move on.
A way to finally choose someone who was choosing me.
He replied honestly,
"I didn't tell you before… but I kind of had a crush on you since the day I saw your picture. But you were in love with Johnathan, so I stayed quiet."
I paused.
Then I said,
"You can still try… you know everything."
And that's how it started.
He tried.
He really did.
He already knew what I liked, what I didn't… and he made efforts.
Real efforts.
Something I wasn't used to receiving.
But before moving forward, I told him everything clearly.
"I don't want to hide anything from you," I said. "I need to tell you… me and Johnathan were emotionally involved for a long time. If you can accept me like this, then we can go ahead. Otherwise, you can leave now."
He didn't hesitate.
He accepted me.
And just like that—
We started something new.
A new journey.
But peace didn't last long.
After just one week—
Johnathan texted me.
"Hey!"
That evening, I was outside with Sam. I told him about the message. He nodded and said, "Reply. See what he wants."
So when I got home, I did.
"What?"
"How are you?" he replied.
"Fine. What do you need?"
"Nothing. Just texted to see how you are."
"And?" I asked.
Then he said—
"I heard you're in a relationship with Sam. Is it true?"
"Who told you?"
"I just heard. Is it?"
"Yes. It is."
I paused… then added,
"He proposed to me. He wants to marry me. We'll get married after college."
"Oh… I thought it was a rumor."
"No, it's not. Do you need something?"
There was a pause.
Then he said,
"I wanted to tell you something… but I think I shouldn't now."
"What is it?" I asked quickly.
"Not the right time. Forget it."
Something inside me stirred.
Did he realize…?
Is he coming back?
"Just tell me," I said.
He replied—
"I just wanted to ask you something… forget it."
Then suddenly—
"Should I propose to Siara? She likes me. I think I should be in a relationship."
That moment—
It broke something in me again.
I didn't understand anything anymore.
A part of me felt like… he came back too late.
Another part wondered… was he testing me?
But I had already given my word to someone else.
And I wasn't like him.
If I broke that promise…
Then what difference would there be between me and him?
My mind was a mess.
What should I do?
Should I stop him?
Should I let him go?
After everything—
I just typed,
"If you feel for her… you can go."
He replied,
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes," I said. "It's your life. The decision is yours, right?"
Then I asked again,
"What were you about to tell me?"
"…nothing."
And then—
He sent me a screenshot.
"I love you, Siara. Will you be mine?"
My hands went cold.
My chest felt empty.
It felt like my whole world just… shattered again.
I stared at the screen, unable to process anything.
Why would he send me that?
It felt intentional.
Like he wanted me to see it.
Like he wanted me to feel it.
And suddenly, everything made sense in the worst way possible.
Maybe he did come back.
Maybe he did realize.
But when he saw I wasn't available anymore—
He chose someone else.
And made sure I knew.
In the end… I didn't stop him.
I didn't ask anything more.
I just typed—
"Congratulations for your new beginning."
My fingers felt numb as I sent it.
He replied,
"Thank you."
And then… he said something.
Something I still don't fully understand.
It felt incomplete.
Like a sentence with a hidden meaning… something he wanted to say, but didn't.
A suspense he never revealed.
I read it again and again, trying to find an answer between the words.
But there was nothing clear.
And this time—
I didn't force it.
I didn't ask him to explain.
I didn't try to hold onto something that was already slipping away.
I just… let him go.
Again.
Just like that—
We became strangers.
For real this time.
No hidden chats.
No late-night talks.
No "almost" moments.
Nothing.
Before leaving, I texted him one last time—
"Good luck."
And without waiting for anything else—
I blocked him on Messenger.
Not out of anger.
Not out of revenge.
But because I finally understood something—
Some stories don't end with answers.
They end with silence.