A group of boys passed him, their raucous shouting finally jolting him back into the present. Iseul tore his gaze away from Sia, his fists clenching so tight his knuckles turned white. He swallowed hard, but his throat felt as though it were filled with dry, jagged thorns.
He looked around at the chaos of the classroom, the students laughing, the daylight pouring through the window. He forced himself to look at everything except Noe Sia.
Gathering every ounce of his remaining strength, he forced his legs toward his seat, located directly behind her. Every step felt as heavy as lead. With each movement, he chanted a mantra to himself: Ignore her. Just ignore her. There was no room for Noe Sia, her memory, or for her fear in Kang Iseul's new life. On this new path he had chosen, noe Sia doesn't't belong!!
Yes, ignoring that dangerous girl was his best strategy. He would act as if he had never even known her. After all, what could she possibly do? She had already done the worst thing you can imagine.
Gripped by this internal resolve, he didn't cast so much as a shadow of a glance her way.
Reaching his row, he looked at the empty seat in last row.... as it was empty, without hesitation, he tossed his bag onto the seat further back. Now, there was a deliberate gap one empty chair acting as a buffer between him and Sia. He didn't care who sat there. he just needed as much distance as possible to remain between them.
He gulped down some water and pretended to rummage through his bag, desperate to hide the way his hands were shaking. But the peace didn't last. The voices of a group nearby began to slice through his concentration.
"Oh ho! Look at that.... a lovers' quarrel?"
"No way! Is this for real?"
"Breaking news! The famous lovebirds Mr Coward and Miss Smelly Scrapper are officially over!"
"Poor guy..... I mean, how much of that stench could he actually take?"
"He's the poor one? What about me?!" a girl in front of Sia wailed, dramatically pinching her nose. Explosive, ugly laughter erupted from every corner of the room.
Iseul abandoned any hope of reading. He stared out the window, searching for a sanctuary in the scenery. Only moments ago, he had planned to stand up, to mingle, to be a "normal" student. Now, he sat shrunken and paralyzed in his seat.
When the teacher finally walked in, Iseul let out a sharp, shallow breath of relief. He couldn't look forward at Sia, and he didn't have the strength to look right, where the mischievous group was still whispering and snickering about his "breakup."
His head began to throb. Sharp cramps twisted in his stomach.
A bitter, self deprecating laugh bubbled in his chest. What had he been thinking? That things would just be "fine" just because he wanted them to be? He could change himself, but he couldn't change the world and this world, with its mocking eyes, was never going to let him escape his past.
He let his limbs go limp, the weight of defeat finally pulling him down.
Maybe only those destined for change are allowed to achieve it. When destiny is set in stone, no matter how beautiful the "cover" you wrap yourself in, the story inside remains the same.
He thought of Park Ara. She was the one who had filled his head with these philosopher's delusions. Stupid girl, he thought bitterly. In an instant, he shifted the weight of his failure onto her, retreating back into the familiar comfort of the victim's role.
"Attention, students!" Mr Kim's sharp voice cracked through the room. Iseul glanced at him briefly before returning his eyes to the window, his face sullen, looking as though he had a personal grudge against the entire world.
"Welcome back. I hope you all spent your holidays studying as hard as you spent them playing...!?"
"Not a chance, sir! We aren't that stupid. We only played!" a cheeky voice shouted from the back.
Hushed laughter rippled through the room. Mr. Kim just shook his head.
"We'll see how long that laughter lasts. Anyway, welcome your new classmate. Park Ara! Please introduce yourself."
"Park Ara?" Iseul's head snapped toward the front. Standing beside Mr. Kim was indeed Ara. Their eyes met, and for a fleeting second, the spark of recognition in her gaze acted like a lifeline.
He felt a sudden, desperate surge of his lost confidence. He smoothed his silky hair, dusted off his collar, and straightened his back, trying to look as dignified as possible.
"My name is Park Ara. I have many hobbies, but I love drawing, singing and shopping the most. And my favorite subject is English. I hope we can make good memories together."
She was refined, lovely, and possessed a clear, tinkling voice. Her confident, friendly aura won the room over instantly.
"Very well. Ara, go take that seat," Mr. Kim said, pointing to the only empty chair the one directly between Noe Sia and Kang Iseul..
"Wait....! when did this gap appear between those two?" Mr. Kim muttered. Even the teachers knew of their "deep friendship." To him, they were both just dull minded students he didn't particularly care for, but the sudden distance was strange.
Ara took her seat with a confident grace, turning back to Iseul with a bright, genuine smile. Iseul managed a small, tight smile in return.
"Ara! If you've got a mask, you should put it on," a playful voice called out from the side.
"What do you mean?" Ara asked, her confusion genuine.
"The girl in front of you.... Only Iseul had the stomach for her stench!" a boy named Do-hyun sang out.
"And it looks like even poor Iseul has finally reached his limit!" a girl with glasses added. Another wave of muffled laughter broke out until Mr. Kim's glare silenced them.
Iseul cast a split second glance at the back of Sia's head.
"Thank you for your concern, but perhaps you should focus that energy on your education. You're holding your book upside down," Ara snapped.
Iseul was floored. He hadn't expected such a sharp, defensive edge from her.
"No way! Do-hyun! You just got burned. Go drown yourself in shame," one of his' friend teased.
"No, dude. There's no need to be sad when angels get angry over you."
"This is the thing we should actually feel sad about!" Do-Hyun's friends were at odds with each other.
"Actually, ma'am... I picked up this book to hide my smile. The day I feel like conquering the world, I'll pick it up carefully to study too..." Do-Hyunun, the mischievous boy, seemed quite pleased to have caught Ara's attention.
"Respect the book," Ara added irritably.
"I'll respect anything you want, if you're the one teaching me," Do-hyun replied with a wink. Ara found him incredibly "cringe." She ignored him and turned back to Iseul.
"I stopped by your place this morning. I thought we could walk together, but you'd already left," she said. Do-hyun and his friends practically leaned out of their seats to listen.
"Iseul! You bastard! How dare you betray the Smelly Scrapper for the girl of my dreams!" Do-hyun clutched his heart in mock agony.
Ara rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the girl in front of her. She looked at the thick, black hair hiding Sia's back. Everyone was talking, laughing, and teasing, yet the "Smelly Scrapper" sat as still as a statue. Ara didn't see her move a single muscle.
Hesitating, Ara looked at Iseul. He was staring out the window again, his jaw set and a vein bulging in his forehead. She quickly scribbled a note and slid the notebook toward Sia. Sia looked at the notebook touching her shoulder with profound surprise. She seemed confused at first, but then she saw the pencil markings and pulled the notebook toward her.
Hello! As I said, I'm Ara. I just moved in across from Iseul. Our dads have became food friends.... Iseul is just a friend to me, too. Don't worry..." At the end, Ara had drawn a small smiley face.
Sia looked as though she wanted to shove the notebook back, but her hand moved almost against her will. She grabbed a pencil and scrawled a reply.
We were only friends, too. Now, we aren't even that! You don't owe me an explanation. Do whatever you want."
"Do whatever I want? What is that supposed to mean?" Ara whispered to herself. She began writing again, but this time, she slid the notebook back to Iseul.
The girl in front of me. Is she your friend? Is she mad at you? Or are you mad at her??" Next to the message, she drew a cartoon with a puzzled, thinking face.
A flash of color crossed Iseul's face. He re read the exchange between Sia and Ara in his mind, and a strange, quiet sense of relief washed over him. So... Noe Sia really doesn't consider me a friend anymore? She's really going to leave me alone? His heart began to thud against his ribs for a different reason. He licked his dry lips, careful not to even accidentally look at Sia for a fraction of a second. Instead, he gave Ara a long, serious, and sorrowful look before writing back.
"It's not resentment. Plain and simple.... The friendship is over. Please, don't ever talk to me about her again. And if you take my advice, don't make the mistake of getting close to her either. She isn't worth being a friend. She isn't even worth your sympathy." He pressed the pencil down hard on the last line, knowing all too well how much Ara loved to sympathize with others.
Ara read the message and went still. There was so much more she wanted to ask, but she decided it was better to wait. She slowly closed the notebook.
Continue