It was 2 am, but sleep was miles away from his eyes.
His pillow was wet with silent tears. In a state of disbelief, he had searched the internet just a short while ago.
Does this really happen ? Can a biological father harbor such disgusting desires for his own child?
The internet's answers had left him numb. The world was full of such cases.... Countless victims had come forward, countless others had chosen silence out of shame. And who knew how many had been buried under tons of earth before they could ever raise their voices... A shudder ran through his entire body.
For whom had Mr Noe Tai-sik dug that grave ..?
"I can tell you for sure, it wasn't for himself." Sia's tearful voice echoed in his ears. He let out a helpless, cold sigh.
In his mind, he pictured Noe Sia lying in that grave like a corpse, eyes closed, and in the next moment, he bolted upright. It was such a painful image. His heart hammered so violently he thought it would burst through his chest. His stomach started acting up. He felt like he was going to throw up, he scrambled out of bed and ran to the bathroom.
After vomiting, he washed his face and stared at his drained reflection with his bloodshot wet eyes.
He used to think his life was harder than Sia's. He had so easily called her the lucky one....
How must Sia have felt hearing those words??
If he had been in her place, what would he have done??
He asked from himself..
Would he have gone quietly into the grave?
Would he have raised his voice after enduring the trauma?
Or would he have picked up a weapon, just like sia?
His strength left him, and he sank to the floor, leaning his back against the wall.
He had no answer, because he couldn't even imagine such a horrific situation... and what he couldn't even imagine, Sia had already lived through!
While he was here, happily cleaning, enjoying movies, humming to himself, and sleeping peacefully.... Noe Sia was there, fighting a war for survival. She was there, ready to give her life for her dignity. She was a victim of a double agony.
How must she have felt, seeing her own father in the form of a hungry beast?
How agonizing it must have been for her.....
And then, that night, when he had run away from there... how, in that dark night and lonely house, did she fill her father's grave with soil?
How did she wipe the evidence from the entire house? Did she sleep that night?? Perhaps she had fallen ill from the shock, too..... but could she have even slept peacefully in that house??
She didn't even have anyone to look after her..
When she was cleaning the bloodstains, was she crying for her father, or was she smiling at the death of a monster?
Could she ever go back into her room again??
Could she look herself in the mirror??
How deep was her terror when she had frantically tried to open the lock to his house?
When Mr Kang saw her, what he do to her?
Did he roar at her in anger, insulted her as usual, or did he slap her!?
She was already in a broken state. What must she have gone through after facing Mr Kang?
How was she even living in that house??
Did the memories of that place not haunt her?
Did the backyard not gave her nightmare??
Now that he knew the truth, his worry for Sia was eating him up from inside. Lying in his comfortable bed felt like a crime...
Yet, a part of him was still frustrated with her...
What was the need for Sia to tell him the truth!?
He was moving forward in his life, a life where Noe Sia was nowhere to be found. Everything was going well, so why did she need to reclaim a space in his thoughts?
And it was also possible she was lying.....
But what would she gain by lying somthing like this?? Kang Iseul is never going back to her..!
Their friendship could never be, what it was before..
But why couldn't ??
It could be.....
But it shouldn't !!
Why shouldn't it ?
She's a victim, not a criminal !
But she tried to frame me....
But I wasn't listening to her either... she wasn't in a state to think clearly..
But will his group of friends accept Sia ?
What if they abandon him too because of her?
Everything would go back to the way it was before.
Could he endure that old life again?
Noe Sia, or the new group of friends ??
The group that was so wonderful...
The new school life, or the old one??
The one that was so ugly...
Why am I overthinking this? Anyway, Sia never gained anything from my existence. At every turn, I've proven to be a coward." I've always run away and left her in trouble alone. I didn't try even once to find out why she took such a step as murdering her own father.... I was just desperate to get rid of her..... what was the use of a friendship like that to her?
She was alone before..... she can be alone in the future too...
But i can't..
I am a coward. I need a glowing group of friends, otherwise, I can't shine either. I cannot be a traveler of the darkness with her!
That's it ! The decision was made.
She had said it herself, from today, we don't know each other. Period. End of story..
Having reached a decision, he stood up. He washed his face and hands, took one final look at his selfish face, and averted his eyes as he walked out of the bathroom..
"Were you crying?"
Jun-su's heavy voice made him jump.
"I thought you were doing something 'manly' in there. I was almost impressed by your timing." Looking at his tear swollen face, Jun-su seemed genuinely surprised.
"Excuse me, Jun-su! All I want to do right now is sleep."
"Yeah, why not? Sleep feels really good after a good cry." He smirked, titled his head.
Iseul found him somewhat Eccentric.
"Anyway, before you sleep, will you tell me something? Who is this Sia !?"
Hearing Sia's name from Jun-su's mouth naturally made Iseul freeze.
"How do you know her?"
In the dim blue light of the room, his expressions became somewhat clear to Jun-su.
"Uncle Kang has said quite a few bad things about that poor girl. He says she used to follow you around like some kind of witch. But now you've left her.... was that what you were crying about? Is she your ex?"
He confidently sprawled out on Iseul's bed, propped up on one elbow. Iseul looked at the Eccentric boy with distaste.
"There is more to life than love and breakups...."
"But a guy doesn't suffocate and cry at night for a girl for no reason."
He laughed, winking. He was was actually looking for Iseul's weakness, the typical resentment of a step sibling.
"Who told you I was crying for Sia?" Iseul snapped. He felt like throwing this boy not just out of the room, but out of the house too.
"Your face says it! In the lounge, you were being teased about some girl named Ara. You were so stiff. You were forcing a smile with a clenched jaw." He didn't just say it, he mimicked Iseul's forced, ridiculous smile.
"But at the mention of this Sia, you go completely silent. Come on... we're almost brothers now. Share your feelings. I'll tell you about my those fifteen true loves!"
"You've had true love fifteen times?" Iseul's eyes widened.
"What is this 'true love' anyway?" Jun-su sat up, asking with genuine interest.
"The kind after which no other love exists," Iseul replied with the first thing that came to his mind.
He didn't like Jun-su at all, but it was true that talking to him had distracted his mind. Now he could sleep peacefully, but first, he had to get rid of his ass.
"Do you think you can give Sia's place to someone else?" He circled back to Sia again. Iseul desperately wanted to kick him off the bed, but even if he did, it wouldn't have bothered Jun-su. The guy looked like a true gym freak. His muscles were visible even through his shirt.
"Jun-su! I have school tomorrow. I need to sleep." Taking a deep breath, he got straight to the point.
"Oh, sure, sorry burrotharr.." He finally got off the bed. Iseul didn't waste a second stretching out his legs.
"But, one last question..... would you mind if I became friends with Sia?"
"What?! Why would you be friends with Sia? And didn't you hear? Papa doesn't like Sia at all!" He sat back up instantly.
Jun-su noted the frown on his forehead and the distaste in his eyes. A cynical smile crept onto his lips.
"Uncle Kang isn't my father! I have nothing to do with his useless rules or his likes and dislikes. I was just worried about you ! You won't feel bad if I become friends with your ex, right?" He spoke as if he deeply cared about Iseul's feelings.
"You live in my Papa's house! You'll have to follow his rules," Iseul said restlessly. He had been on the verge of sleep, and now it had vanished again.
"I didn't follow my own father's rules while he was alive. Why would I follow your father's stupid rules?" With a mocking laugh, he settled into his makeshift bed on the floor. Iseul, who had been preparing to sleep, remained sitting up. His sleep was gone.
********
In the house, Jun-su's name was constantly praised. Aside from the gym, jogging, and cooking, his academic record was also excellent. Mr Kang had become his biggest fan.
"I wish you were my biological son...."
Overwhelmed by emotion, he would often say it aloud.
And that third class actor would blink innocently and reply, "I am your son...!"
Mr. Kang would be overjoyed by that response.
Other side little Jae-hwan kept the house lively in his own way.
Their dull house had suddenly become very vibrant. The walls seemed to speak and laugh. There was a constant sense of life in motion..
Mr Kang was laughing and smiling now, too, and it was real laughter. His attention had shifted away from Iseul for the most part. Mr Kang no longer tracked his every move or kept him imprisoned at home after school and the academy.
Iseul now often went out for an hour long walk at night..... and the truth was, this sense of freedom left him bewildered.
He felt this change with a sense of wonder. For now, the disbelief was so strong that he didn't feel good or bad about it.. He just remained a silent spectator, sensing the shifts in the house and the relationships. He didn't know if the results of these changes would be good or bad.....
Lost in his thoughts and unaware of the cold, sweet breeze, he didn't realize when or in what trance he had reached Noe Sia's house. Staring at the terrifying, dark shrouded house in a daze, he snapped out of it and felt flustered.
Shocked by his own subconscious actions, he began to glance around stealthily. He had come here as if in a trance. But why, even in a trance, why would he come to Sia's house?
Panic stricken, he thought it over.... the street he didn't even want to see in a dream, somehow his feet had brought him here.. Why?
"Who lives here?"
Jun-su's heavy voice startled him. He had no idea how long Jun-su had been following him. Iseul was annoyed. He didn't want to deal with him right now, especially here, outside Sia's house.
"This house must have been beautiful once," Jun-su added, ignoring Iseul's silence. "And now it's look like a haunted house."
After shooting him a serious look, Iseul turned to leave without saying a word..
The relentlessly stubborn Jun-su started walking alongside him.
"Was this the house of your ex, and my next, Noe Sia?"
"What nonsense are you talking ?! She isn't my ex! and what do you mean by 'your next' ?" Clenching his fists, Iseul stopped and glared at him in disgust. This Eccentric boy had started mentioning Sia frequently, which didn't bode well for Iseul's sixth sense.
"Chill, bro !! Let's say she was nothing to you. So from now on, it's between her and me." That crooked smile of him..... Iseul hated it.
"If you're planning to just pass the time with her, then listen! she isn't that kind of girl !" He warned him, raising a finger.
Jun-su looked at his finger and laughed softly, tilting his head.
"What she's like, I'll find out tomorrow. I'm also joining from tomorrow, after all!" The mean way he scratched his neck as he spoke made Iseul want to land a punch, but he knew fulfilling that wish was nearly impossible.
Jun-su was probably an inch or two shorter than him, but because of his athletic build, he looked more imposing. Iseul felt like a twig standing next to him.
He cursed him from bottom of his heart and turned to walk away, but his step froze in mid air. The girl standing a short distance away was undoubtedly Noe Sia.
Standing in the yellow glow of the streetlight and the milky moonlight, a cigarette pressed between her fingers, she was opening the doors to many old memories. Even the memories he never wanted to recall.
Sia gave them only a small glance and started walking forward with steady steps, her head down.
For a moment, Iseul's heart skipped a beat, but in the next, he thought it's better to act like a stranger. Noticing their expressions with interest, Jun-su called out to Sia loudly. Both of them turned toward him in surprise.
"So, you are Noe Sia? Ahm, excuse me, let me pull back this veil of hair.... I want to see if you're really that terrifying, or if these are just stories made up to scare 'childrens'!"
Iseul watched in shock as Jun-su moved the hair back from her face. He was also surprised that Sia hadn't stopped him..
Restless, Iseul moved forward two steps.
With her hair pushed back by his fingers carefully, Jun-su said nothing. Sia said nothing. He just looked at her face, and Sia glared back at him with a flat gaze..
"You..... Noe Sia, you are actually quite beautiful! Especially these eyes of yours. Grey, very bright, like glass...." Folding his arms across his chest and nodding vigorously, he commented in an impressed tone.
"But I don't like you one bit. If you ever touch me again, I'll hit you with my shoe!" Speaking in a harsh, icy tone, she pushed against his chest to move him out of her way and walked on. A spontaneous, peaceful smile spread across Iseul's face.
"She's just.... Just playing hard to get....! All girls do that in the beginning!" Laughing stubbornly, Jun-su turned back to watch Noe Sia as she walked away.
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