EVADNE
Esmeralda was right. Although the dress didn't fit her it was the perfect size for me. It fit so perfectly. Black was an odd color to choose to get married in but in her case maybe it wasn't because it symbolized her oncoming death.
Walking down this aisle it felt like there were chains. Maybe I would have been happy if I had no one else in my life but I doubt it.
Why would I have been happy?
This wedding is like a funeral, I close my eyes while walking , slow enough to drag time and hoping that Saint will be patient with me as he thinks it's Esmeralda beneath this veil.
Esmeralda collapsed before I came here. The doctor told me her brain tumor was getting worse and it was uncertain if one month is what she had left.
The doctor administered something to her and she woke up after a few minutes.
"''Promise me Evadne, promise me you wont back down from this marriage. Promise me that you won't leave him no matter
what. Promise me that you will take care of him, you will never leave him, you will protect him with your life and you will love
him for both me and you. Promise me Evdane.''
I could hear the faint whispers of some people.
"A black dress, this is bad luck."
People who were supposed to be modern spoke like old fashioned strict elders.
My heart was racing, I couldn't have a panic attack right now, but what power do I have? Deep breath in, out, in, out, in….
Breathing exercises never worked, i have to be calm, i can't break down now. I have to fulfill my promise to her.
I finally got to the altar. I couldn't see Saint's face nor could he see mine. The veil was black enough to cover me.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the holy union between Ms Rovet and Mr Zyraelle."
The priest went on, his words were a blur, I couldn't focus on him or anything he had to say, it was too hard when I felt so suffocated.
I want to get out of here, I don't want to face Saint's wrath. Angelo will be so heartbroken. How do I even begin to tell him?
'"Ms Rovet, do you take Mr Zyraelle as your lawfully wedded husband."
His voice was laced with impatience and frustration.
"I do."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."
This was it, the moment I dreaded, the moment he lifted the veil and realized it wasn't his bride.
Time slowed down as Saint reached for the veil. As the veil laid over my head I finally saw him. I tried to see through his mask, study how he was feeling but his face was void of emotion.
This meant danger, the calm always came before the storm.
He leaned in and kissed me, slow, dominant and with no trace of anger whatsoever. The kiss was scaring me, his calm was scaring me. Did he know perhaps that Esmeralda had a brain tumor?The wedding venue erupted with applause and cheers. I looked at the guests all dressed in luxury clothes with smiles as venomous as snake poison.
"Dont be fooled by the smiles, the kindness in the mafia is fake. Everyone is after one thing, power. They will do anything to
get it."
I couldn't consider any of their smiles genuine. Never trust anyone, especially not them. Saint has enemies, a lot of them, and I know nothing about protecting myself let alone protecting him.
I looked at him, his expression still unreadable, it was scary but now I had a new mission. For Esmeralda's sake.
Saint took my hand and dragged me away from the guests leading me to a backroom. I looked around the room, it looked like where the bride was supposed to get ready.
"Why the fuck are you here Evadne dressed in my brides attire? How could you trick me into marrying you?"
"I had no other choice …."
"Fuck that. Don't fuckin give me a sob story. Where is Esmeralda? What the fuck did you do to her?"
'"'Please keep my illness a secret. Please keep my death a secret. Tell him I eloped or something, it's better if he hates me,if he
knows about my death', grief will kill him. If he hates me he can make space for you in his heart."
I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have agreed to all this nonsense. I should have refused.
Who am I to protect him?
Saint slapped me hard across the face and my cheeks stung from the impact. My eyes burned with tears but Saint didn't care.
He slammed against the wall, his hands gripping me firmly and his fingertips sunk into my skin, I'm sure I'd get a bruise from this.
"What the fuck did you fucking do to my fiance?"
I gathered fragments of courage I didn't have, courage I couldn't afford but courage is what I needed. I looked saint in the eye hoping that my face no longer had any trace of fear. There in his eyes was darkness I'd never witnessed before in his eyes.
In the time I had been with him, this much darkness I'd never experienced, this…this side of him was scary.
"You wanna know where your pretty little perfect Esmeralda is, here you go. Esmeralda eloped, she said that she didn't want to build a life with you because your life was not her cup of tea. She said that she wasn't willing to become a part of your dark world. If it wasnt for me you would be standing at the fuckin altar like an idiot and your stupid little reputation would be flushed right down the drain."
Saint grabbed my arm so hard and pulled me away from the wall then threw me over a table where I rolled over and hit the floor face first. During the fall I couldn't protect my mouth and my lips split open.
I gently touched my lips trying not to irritate the split area, I winced when it stung more than I prepared for.
Saint grabbed my hair in a fistful forcing me to look him in the eye.
"You're an ungrateful little bitch you know that. You're going to pay for what you fuckin did to me, you hear me. You'll beg at my feet for me to kill you."
He slammed my head down again on the floor and my head felt like it was bursting open. Saint left me in that room alone.I'd never imagined him being abusive, I'd never imagined him laying a hand on a woman but I guess I didn't know him at all. I have a feeling this marriage is going to be shitty.
Should I even pity myself at this point, I walked down the aisle, I had a choice and I chose to stay. I could have turned her down, but somewhere in my heart I wanted him. Somewhere hidden in a neatly wrapped box I wanted his love.
At some point though I thought I would fall in love with Angelo, I was beginning to think we could have an amazing future and here I am.
I stood up only to realize I had sprained my ankle, my arms were sore and my head was
pounding with no mercy.
I looked around for any sign of a phone because I had left mine at home and I couldn't stay here any longer.
My chest burned while my heart ached as I thought about Angelo, all the moments we had spent together. The memories, how could I let all of that go.