OLIVIA'S POV
I was in pain.
I didn't know what hurt more, my body or my heart.
I had dreamt about sleeping with Lucien multiple times and none of it was like this.
He wasn't like this, he was nice, caring and loving.
But this, it was horrible.
And no matter how many times I asked him to stop he wouldn't.
I love him.
I sniffled as I cleaned up the dishes on the table.
I knew he would never do something like this to me for no reason.
He had a reason, and a valid one at that.
I shouldn't have loved him. I should have never laid my eyes on him and lust over him.
It was only right that he was angry and he took that anger and decided to teach me not to force my own feelings on people.
I smiled, tears rolling down my cheeks.
I was wrong and he was right.
I should stop loving him.
How dare I?
I should be grateful that he didn't chase me out of his house.
I placed the dishes in the sink and began washing them.
At least now I didn't have to deal with that dishonest man anymore.
He had lied to me that he wouldn't tell on me but he did.
He was disgusting and I-I hated him.
I wish I had just killed him.
I should have, if I had Lucien wouldn't have…
"Calm down Olivia. Don't think about it. He didn't mean to do that to you." I whispered to myself.
I slowly began washing the dishes, my mind drifting to a past memory.
My mother had taken me along with her to work because the social worker had begun to make random visits again so she couldn't leave me home alone like she usually did.
It was a cold winter morning, the snow crunched under our shoes as we walked up to the Hale's front door.
Just as my mother was about to open the door, it opened from the inside and Lucien burst out the door at full speed, his beautiful laughter filling the quiet and cold morning.
At that time I didn't know what had made him so happy, he stood in the snow with a smile on his face as he jumped up and down.
I remember staring at him for the longest of time as he continued running around with Mr Cain, one of the workers at their house.
He looked like someone straight out of a movie. But no matter how much I stared he never once turned in my direction.
*********************
I blankly stared at the TV.
I think a movie was running or maybe it was some type of reality show.
My eyes were staring at the screen but my brain was not processing any of it.
I didn't understand what was wrong with me.
My chest tightened as Lucien's cold expression flashed behind my eyes.
Why couldn't I stop thinking about it?
Was it because of how painful it was, or was it because of how Lucien didn't listen to any word I said.
How he didn't care like he usually cared.
I shook my head.
How could I think that.
He cared. Lucien was the only person who cared about me in this world.
The only reason he had done this was because of me.
It was all my fault I shouldn't have lied to him. I should have told him the truth.
And now he knew.
He knew how I felt about him but I didn't feel happy or relieved.
I actually felt afraid.
Afraid of how he was gonna treat me now.
Was he gonna push me away, chase me out of his house or was he gonna pretend like all of this never happened.
I was more afraid of being kicked out.
My nails dug into the palm of my hand.
I stood up and started pacing up and down.
He wouldn't do that now would he?
Anything but that.
Suddenly I couldn't breathe right. The air felt too thin, my heart thundered in my chest.
What's happening?
My fingers trembled, the room felt smaller. I swallowed hard trying to steady myself but the dread curled tighter in my chest.
And just as quickly as it came it stopped.
My breathing slowed, the noise in my head came to a stop.
It left me shaken and worried.
This had never happened to me before.