All my life, I never knew things would turn out like this. Funny how everything can change in such a short time. But can you ever stop it from changing?
I never imagined I'd write this down in a book. Yet here I am. It's the only way to feel free of it. But anyway… let's get started, shall we?
My name is Anna, and this is my story.
"It's time for school, wake up!" my mum called.
It was just me in the room that morning. My sister was already in college and I was in grade 12. I got up and wore my uniform. I tried doing my hair, but it was one of those days where nothing cooperated, so I just tied it in a bun and left.
"Finally, she's here! Where's my book?" Bree said when I stepped out. Bree was my only friend in high school. I never liked being noticed much, so I preferred staying in the background.
"It's right here," I said, handing her the book. Assembly was about to start, so we went downstairs together.
In class, I took my usual seat. Chemistry was first—probably the most boring subject I had ever encountered—but I had to pass it anyway. I was among the top students in my class, so keeping that streak wasn't optional.
Then someone walked in.
I looked up.
Of course it was him.
Kelvin.
We used to be friends back in grade 10, and we almost dated. But it was complicated.
Back then, I was more childish, more carefree. People used to laugh at me, and somehow Kelvin still liked me through all of that. But I never really understood it.
Anytime he tried getting close, I pushed him away without thinking. Over time, he stopped trying.
And now… I wasn't sure what hurt more.
That he had moved on.
Or that I only understood my feelings when it was already too late.
"Why are you just strolling in now?" Mr. Cas asked.
Kelvin tried to explain, but the teacher wasn't interested and sent him out. He left without stress, like it was normal for him.
Chemistry continued, but I wasn't really paying attention anymore. My mind kept drifting.
Not to the present.
But to him.
Back then, everything felt simpler. Or maybe I just didn't know what I was doing.
He stayed even when I pushed him away. That was the problem. He stayed longer than I deserved.
And I made sure he stopped trying.
I looked down at my desk, tightening my grip on my pen without realizing it.
Because now he was here again.
And I didn't even know what I was supposed to do with that.
"Anna," Bree whispered. "You've been zoning out since he walked in."
"I'm fine," I said quickly.
I wasn't.
Chemistry dragged on like it always did, and I fought hard not to fall asleep.
Being in science class meant signing up for all the complicated subjects. I thought it was what I wanted—but now I know otherwise.
Growing up, I always thought I'd become a doctor or a nurse. Something stable. Something my mum would be proud of. She always said science was the best path, something "safe." So I chose it, partly because I was curious, partly because I wanted to make her happy.
But I've realized lately that wanting to make someone proud can slowly make you lose yourself.
My father wasn't really in the picture. He was mostly absent, and when I think about childhood, it's always my mum that comes first. She used to say men are evil, that we should stay away from them. I believed her to some extent because of what I saw. But I still needed people. I still needed someone to talk to.
That's probably why I never stayed alone for too long.
And that's how I met Stephen.
Stephen was nothing like Kelvin.
He was a rebel—the kind everyone warned you about. The kind teachers already expected trouble from before he even spoke.
No one thought we'd ever even talk, let alone become something close to friends. I was the quiet, careful type. He was the opposite in every way.
But somehow, we started talking.
And somehow, he stayed.
That's where things started changing again.