Zoey Park has a face that cannot lie. This has been both her quality and her biggest problem for as long as I can remember. Which is about twenty-two years.
She arrived forty minutes after Nathan made the call. I was watching the clock because the room was very quiet after he left to make some arrangements.
She came in through the door almost running her dark hair coming out of her ponytail her coat half buttoned, one earring in and the other one missing. She stopped in the doorway when she saw me sitting up.
For a moment she just stood there.
Then her face showed a lot of emotions at the time. Relief and joy and something complicated that she hid quickly.
"Hi " I said.
"Hi " she said, her voice very small.
Then she walked across the room in four steps. Hugged me very carefully like she was scared of hurting me. This was different from the way she used to hug me which was always like a crash.
"I'm okay " I told her. "Mostly."
"I know " she said, her eyes wet. She looked at my face for a time with an expression I could not understand. "You look good considering."
"Considering I got hit by a car."
"Considering you got hit by a car " she agreed. She pulled a chair close. Sat down holding my hand in both of hers. "How's your head?"
"It. Its foggy." I paused. "Zoey he told me about my memory."
She became still.
"He told me its been four years " I said. "That I'm twenty-six. That I've been living a life I don't remember right now." I watched her face. "Is that true?"
"Yes that's true " she said carefully.
"Have you been here every day while I was unconscious?"
"Every day " she said, without hesitation. "Elara you are my friend so I had to be here."
Something in my chest felt better when she said that. Whatever else was missing whatever those four years had done Zoey was still the same.
"Tell me " I said. "Tell me about the four years. What did I miss?"
She laughed,. It was not a happy laugh. "That's a lot to talk about."
"Start small " I said. "What did I do? Did I open the bakery? Am I happy?" I paused. "Was I happy?"
Something moved across her face when I said "was I happy".
"You are in the process of opening the bakery " she said. "You have a location. You've been working on the plans. Its really happening, Elara."
"Okay " I said, feeling a little better. "What else?"
"You moved to an apartment " she said. "You're on the floor now and you love it because you can see a little bit of the park if you stand in the right corner of the living room."
I smiled, because that sounded like something I would do.
"You got very good at making croissants " Zoey said. "You even made them every weekend. Gave them to everyone you knew whether they wanted them or not."
"That sounds like me " I said.
"You also adopted a plant " she said. "You named it Gerald. He's still alive. I watered him yesterday."
"I already love Gerald " I said.
"Everyone loves Gerald " she said. "He's a handsome succulent."
We sat there for a moment feeling happy about Gerald. Then I asked her something I had to know.
"Tell me about Nathan."
The room felt all of a sudden.
Zoeys hands got a little tighter on mine. She looked at our hands instead of my face.
"What did he tell you?" she asked, carefully.
"Almost nothing " I said. "He just told me his name. He stayed until you arrived." I paused. "He cried before he knew I was awake. He was sitting there holding my hand and crying."
Her jaw did something
"Hes been here every day too " she said finally. "He barely left your side."
"Who is he to me?"
She paused for a second long.
"He's someone who has been in your life " she said. "Someone important."
"Is he my boyfriend?"
The word "boyfriend" felt like a bomb in the room and Zoey looked at it like she was not sure what to do.
"It's complicated " she said.
"Zoey " I said, using the tone of voice that meant "do not try to manage me now". She knew that tone and her shoulders dropped.
"You weren't officially together " she said. "The situation between you and Nathan is not something I can explain in one conversation."
"Was he good to me?"
There was silence.
I watched her face. I saw something that made my stomach feel bad.
"He cared about you " she said finally. "In his way."
Those two words "in his way" meant a lot.
". " I said.
"But caring about someone and treating them well are not always the thing " she said, looking at me. ". You had just started to figure that out before the accident."
The room was very quiet.
"I was leaving him " I said slowly not really asking a question.
She looked at me. She did not say yes or no but I knew the answer.
"Oh " I said.
I looked at the door thinking about Nathan Ashford, the man who had cried over my hand.
The man who had been here every day.
The man whose face I had been trying to remember since I woke up.
"He cared about you " Zoey had said. "In his way."
"Zoey " I said. "What do I do with that?"
"Nothing " she said firmly. " Now you do nothing. You just woke up. You need to eat something good and not think about Nathan Ashford for a while." She stood up still holding my hand and her voice became like the Zoey I knew. Strong and warm and sure of herself. "I will call the nurse. Then I will go find you some real food. You will sit there and not think about Nathan for a few hours."
I almost smiled, despite everything.
"What if he comes back?"
"Then I will deal with him " she said.
"You're very confident about that."
"I have been dealing with Nathan Ashford for a time " she said and it sounded like it had not always been easy. "I can handle him."
She left the room. I leaned back against my pillows.
I did not remember the four years. I did not remember Nathan.. I was starting to understand what had happened.
Somewhere deep inside me something small and new was forming an opinion, about Nathan Ashford.
I did not know Nathan Ashford.
I was starting to think that maybe this was the thing that had ever happened to the person, to me. This thing that happened to me was really something. The best thing that had ever happened to me that is what I was thinking.