Hey there it's me! Your resident reincarnated baby with a disease, curse, or WHATEVER the FUCK is the thing that makes me feel like my insides are melting inside my bones!
How are you doing today?
Because today, I'm doing great!
Why you ask? Shouldn't I have been suffering? With the whole...weird pain stuff?
Well, you're right on that.
Actually, you're more than right on that.
This month, this whole month since I've started being alive was hell.
It was pure hell.
I did kept up with my training, I even managed to turn on my belly on my own like a big boy and all.
And I had a looooot of incentives to keep training, since it's the only thing that reduce the pain, so I did train, my body slowly gained more stamina and all, everything was going well on that part.
It was going well.
....unfortunately it wasn't well enough to stop me from feeling like I'm constantly being operated on.
Everytime I rest, stop moving, or...the current biggest problem, when I sleep. Now that's were bad stuff happens.
The pain picks up. Hard.
So much in fact that I'm probably sleep depriving myself. Which is a PROBLEM considering that I'm 1 month old, and need a lot of sleep.
But I just CAN'T sleep with that fucking pain
I wake up every fucking hour, and my parents learned the best way to move me around. Which is basically, carrying me and bobbing me up and down their arms as if I were in some kind of rollercoaster whenever I sleep.
It helps with the pain.
So...I'm not saying that babies are easy to take care of.
I'm not saying this, not at all.
But there's a reason why I said that today I'm doing well. Even despite the everlasting suffering.
It's because my parents are starting to freak out!
Yeaaah! Youpie! They're figuring out that I'm not a normal baby!
Not in the sense that I've been reincarnated.
But in the sense that I'm slowly dying and need physical help as FAST as I can.
I may have screamed and cried a little bit more than necessary to get the help I needed. Not like I needed to act a lot, really, I just needed to stop moving for a while, feel the pain, and let the choking and devastating sobs comes out.
Genuinely sounds like I'm being mauled by an animal whenever I cry.
Those kinds of horrible cries, usually, I try to restrain them.
Because...uh, that makes them pick me up, reassure me, and check on me. And the more they pick me up, the more I suffer.
But!
I decided to stop those last few weeks, why? Doctors of course.
THEY NEED TO FIGURE OUT I'M FUCKING DYING BECAUSE I SWEAR THIS PAIN ISN'T NORMAL!
So I stopped holding my screams and cries back.
...and fuck.
Damn, I'm not gonna lie. But...my own crying terrifies me.
Imagine the sounds a baby would make if they were being put in a blender?
Well that's how I sound.
That was...genuinely terrifying. The second I stopped holding back my father barged in the room with a fucking KNIFE of all things and started looking around because he thought something was killing me or something.
And that was the reaction I was waiting for.
The next days. I kept this up, not forcing myself, because there's no forcing, but the holding back.
I stopped holding back, I stopped using my decades as an adult and my weeks of getting used to the pain. And...I just cried like a real baby.
And I just went at it like a maniac.
They reacted, pretty fast. At first with fear, then inspection, then confusion.
And that's why I'm happy today.
Right now I'm in the arms of my mother, who learned that keeping me still gets me to scream even harder, so she constantly moves me around. Feels like I'm in a rollercoaster and it does a wonder for my pain
Moving by myself is still more useful of a fix though.
She's beside my father, who's at the door. Letting a man, smaller than him. Enter. The man is pretty old, well, more than old, he's straight up wizened, he's like a fucking wizard.
But with a short white beard.
Bro must be ninety years old. His back is straight though.
And that's WHY I'm happy. They clearly noticed that something is wrong, and for a first, they finally invited someone in!
And from their faces. Which is a mix of worry and relief, I'm pretty sure that guy is a doctor.
FUUUUUCK YES! BRING ME INTO AN HOSPITAL YOU PIECE OF SHIT, BRING ME BRING ME!
After some greetings, the man, with his rugged hands takes me in his grasp. And I don't even cry, I'm not even mad the fucker is manhandling me, I don't care, bring me to an hospital.
He doesn't.
Yet.
Instead, in front of my worried parents. The man starts to...examine me.
He moves my hand around. My arm around, bro even tests my reflex.
He does the basic stuff, like usual, a weird doctor with some weird tests -probably because a baby needs different tests- but it proves it!
He's a doctor!
I'M SAVED!
I don't even resist with the tests. I don't even complain when he turns my head around, or open my mouth to look inside for some reason.
I don't care, can't care. Why would I care, THE MAN IS MY SAVIOR
After a while, the man, cradling me. Push the bottom of my pupil down, forcing my eye open.
And then...he frowns.
....huh.
Hey man why did you stopped? Is there something wrong with my eye?
My parents, looking over his shoulders gets closer, and the man tells them something in this weird Japanese like speech.
They frown. Both of them, my father so much that his blue eyes get almost invisible.
They get closer. So much that I'm practically face to face with my mother brown eye.
Uh...guys.
Why you looking at me like that?
Is there a problem with my eye-!
My eyes go straight to the doctor hand as he snaps his fingers.
What?
HEY GUYS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY EYES!?
He closes my eye and open the other one. Taking more time than necessary to look at it before letting the eye close again.
FUCK I WANNA CRY, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH MY EYES!
I cry again. And the doctor gives me to my mother.
I'm busy crying. But I still try to listen to what they're all talking about.
My mom and dad talks to the doctor. He says some stuff, and more stuff, and after a while. He leaves.
....
I stay there with my parents for three long minutes.
Watching the door while they move around and go do their life again.
Hey..
Hey man...uh, you forgot about me...
Hey, you're supposed to bring me to an hospital now.
This night, when I'm in my crib again. I realize something.
He's not going to get me to an hospital will he?