EVADNE
I woke up the next morning greeted by the pounding of my head which was precisely heavy. I winced at the pain and observed my surroundings. However the hell did I get home drunk.
Well all that matters was that I wasn't raped, kidnapped or mutilated. And better yet I'm not lying in the hospital on a bed crying in pain.
I smiled looking at my room although it wasn't big it was still my home sweet home. One day I'll have a normal job, waitressing, delivery, cleaning anything as long as I don't have to wear skimpy clothes and perform for men old enough to be my grandparents. I looked at my wall and suddenly had a new goal. I think it would look so good in pink.
With my next salary I'll find a new apartment, a room big enough to have everything I dreamed of. I'll buy a TV, Wi-Fi, a typewriter, TV stand, new bedding sets especially cute ones,
SpongeBob set, Barbie, Minnie mouse, troll hunters, yes it was childish but it's not like I had any boyfriend or anything.
And then I'd paint the walls of my room pink, I'd have a whole new shopping spree. I'll buy
myself wonderful clothes. One day I'll live a normal life, no trauma, no past, no one will know who I am.
I'll start afresh. Everything will be okay. I smiled at the thought and got out of bed. Thankfully the bathroom was not in use so I took a quick bath.
I wrapped a towel around myself when I was done and mopped the floor. I looked at myself in the mirror and started doing silly poses. Today is going to be a good day. Hopefully it won't end in tears.
When I was done posing and all I finally left the bathroom and the door to Laila's room opened. I was about to greet her when I looked at her bare face.
By her bare face I mean no makeup, no lipstick, not even foundation, just her natural face and even more shocking she was smiling nervously at me. Her skin was, well she had light skin but not the white people and all that kind of skin.
Her hair was nearly like mine but longer, a bit less curly unlike my own, pink lips, swollen eyes.
Her actual eye color was brown, I never really noticed that she put on lenses and I'd have never guessed if I had not taken a good look at her today.
She was… She looked harmless, innocent and vulnerable.
"I'm ugly isn't it."
"not at all ooh my god how could you think like that. This is the prettiest I've ever seen you. Ooh my god who knew that beneath all that makeup was such an innocent harmless looking cute girl. "
The words flew out before I could even process them and I guess that's what I really thought. I'd prefer this girl over the piles of makeup she buried herself in.
Her eyes sparkled a little too bright for a compliment as simple as that. She wrapped her arms around me, a heartfelt hug, one where you felt the ease like it was connected through Bluetooth.
Bluetooth? Seriously, that is the best I could come up with. I could have at least used the strings of fate. I mentally hit myself and reminded myself to focus.
She broke free from the hug and nervously stepped back with a smile on her face.Laila, "can we talk over a cup of coffee."
I nodded. She went to the kitchen and I went to my room to get dressed. I looked through my wardrobe and decided to wear something comfortable. At least I'd enjoy my 5 hours before work in peace and early conversation.
I took my pink fur pants, they were old and no longer soft but I still loved them. I paired the pants with a fur hoodie. After coffee and talking to Laila I'm going to read a novel, or should I write one. No, I'll decide later.
When I went to the kitchen Laila was done making the coffee. I took a good look at her again.
She was so beautiful. So innocently beautiful like she is so cute. She smiled when she saw me.
I've lost count of how many times she smiled today. I liked this version of her.
" You look cute in that attire. It's funny how you are always dressed up so childishly."
" I'm not dressed up childish. I'm so mature right now you would be shocked."
Laila handed me the coffee and we sat on the kitchen counter. I almost missed sitting on the kitchen counter like this. I took a sip of the coffee and damn this girl makes amazing coffee. It tasted so good, creamy yet strong and just the right amount of sugar. We drank the coffee in silence until I finished mine and waited for her to finish.
Usually people looked better with makeup but she straight up owned natural beauty.
Laila," the first time someone called me ugly was when I was in the 10th grade. I was 16 by then, I didn't love myself but I tolerated the way I looked. Sometimes I felt beautiful, most of the time I felt hideous. I hated myself so much, I still do. I used to hurt myself, loving people who didn't love me, I begged for love from people who didn't even look at me with mere lust, I did things for people who never appreciated me. As long as I didn't hurt anyone I was content. I would do anything to protect people and never myself."
I observed her as she spoke. No tears, no sadness, just a smile as if what she said was
something not worth taking seriously.
Laila,"I used to confess my love to the boys I loved. I fell in love twice, got rejected and they always chose someone else over me. I was never chosen. A crush of mine told me I was too ugly to even be his side chick, he said I wasn't worthy of it. From that day on I hid behind loads of makeup. I became mean so no one would have the chance to call me ugly ever again. Even if that person is beautiful, I'd tell them that they're ugly. You are an example of that. I never knew how to love myself so I learned to protect myself. The only time I didn't have makeup on was when I slept, locked behind the doors of my room. If I am having sex with someone it would be just for that time and I immediately leave, I never sleep at their homes. Even if it's 2am in the morning I'll come home no matter what. The guy you brought home yesterday ,when he told me I was ugly it brought back so much. I reflected on how I'd treated you and it wasn't fair at all so I want to make amends. I know I don't deserve your kindness or being in your life so it's okay if you don't want to associate with me."
Sure, she had always been mean to me but now I know she's a good person. I got off the
counter and stood in front of her and extended my arms for her, inviting her into my hug. She accepted my embrace and started crying.
" It's okay. I forgive you. I understand okay. No more mean girl core and no more excessive makeup because whoever told you that you're ugly lied to you and destroyed you when you didn't deserve that. You're beautiful okay."She nodded her head. We spent the rest of the hours chatting and getting to know each other.
The more we spoke the more I realized that she wasn't bad at all, she was just never a priority, never chosen, never understood. She went through a lot and she did that to protect herself. I made a promise to her that I'd be there for her whenever she needed me.