Chapter 7: Tears for Her Stolen Boy
My thoughts tangled into knots I couldn't loosen. The scene refused to make sense. Who was that coarse, lowborn woman daring to touch him?
Thalia's voice floated across the table, bright with amusement. "Hehe♪ Is something the matter?"
"Thalia… He would never behave that way. Not Lirian."
I knew my boy. The gentle youth I had raised with my own hands would never reach for a stranger's fingers like that. The image alone sent a sour twist through my stomach. I was the only one allowed even the smallest, most careful brush of skin against his. How dare anyone else presume—
"My, my♪ Jealous, are we?"
"…It's only worry."
"Hehe♪ Then keep the vision going, Vespera♪"
I clicked my tongue in irritation.
In my mind Lirian had already laced his fingers through the stranger's. The gesture looked soft, almost intimate, the kind of quiet affection that belonged only to me. What possible tie could she have to him? No explanation fit. None at all.
Lirian, can't you see her black heart plain as day? That shameless woman wants nothing but your body! My teaching must have been too gentle. Come here this instant. That is an order. As the woman who raised you, I cannot allow this to continue!
I seized his wrist in the fantasy, grip swift and unyielding.
"Oh…♪ Vespera, what a frightening face you're making♪"
"Be quiet. This is no game…"
My hold must have pinched too hard; the imagined Lirian winced, golden eyes tightening. I'm sorry, my sweet one… I never meant to cause you pain. But this was necessary. Correcting your path was the whole reason I existed in your life.
We stood locked in place inside the vision, each of us clutching one of his arms, staring each other down across his small frame like rival wolves over fresh meat.
A question came from Thalia's lips. "Vespera♪"
"…Ugh…!"
"What are you feeling right now?"
The stranger's face sharpened in my head, condescending, smiling down at me while she kept his hand captive as if he already belonged to her alone.
crack
How dare you lay claim to what is mine?
My precious Lirian?
Ha. The insolence. You deserve nothing less than execution.
"…It disgusts me."
"Hehe♪ Of course it does."
"Yes. It disgusts me completely."
"Then I'll ask you plainly, Vespera."
Thalia's fingers caught my chin and tilted my face until our eyes locked, her expression stripped of all playfulness.
"Do you love him?"
For one dizzy heartbeat her face blurred into Lirian's, as though he were the one asking me the same painful question. Do you love me?
"…Ah…"
My lips parted, but nothing came out. Of course I love you, Lirian. Not one day since you first stepped through the doors of the Grand Cathedral of Akadonia have I let you slip from my mind. The morning you first shaped magic under my guidance. The afternoon we clashed in our very first argument. Every shared meal, every quiet routine we built side by side from the beginning until this very moment. I could swear before the gods themselves that my feelings for you will never change.
But…
"…N-No…"
Would he ever feel the same depth? In only days he would step fully into the role of male devotee. Younger, lovelier women would swarm him, offering everything I could never give so freely. Could someone like him vow unchanging devotion to a woman bound first to the realm itself? Could he look only at me and whisper that single, unwavering promise?
The doubt clawed at me until I turned away from the truth once more.
"Vespera really is adorable…♪"
Thalia's smile said she had seen straight through the lie.
Heat stung the corners of my eyes without warning.
I couldn't tell whether the burn came from anger at my own weakness or from something far softer and more dangerous. All I knew was that I needed this farce to end. I had to return to the Grand Cathedral and wrap my arms around the only person who made the world feel right.
"Thalia, I concede… Let's stop this ridiculous game here…"
"Oh♪ I'm afraid I can't do that♪"
"No… I don't need the perfume. Keep it…"
"Hehe♪"
She laughed, low and wicked, and before I could pull back she slipped the crystal bottle neatly between my breasts, nestling it against warm skin. She clearly intended to toy with me a while longer.
The move sat like acid in my veins. I lifted my hand to push her away.
"That's enough… mmph—"
"Shh♪"
Her finger pressed firmly over my lips, cutting the protest short.
"Oh dear…♪ According to everything you just said, he's preparing to leave your side right now♪"
Her voice dragged the next horror into my mind before I could stop it.
In the vision Lirian gazed at me with sorrowful eyes and slowly released my hand.
My heart slammed to a halt.
W-Wait, Lirian. Where do you think you're going?
Come back to me this instant.
This is nothing but a misunderstanding… I'll explain it all, slowly and carefully…
Lirian?
"Your face has gone deathly pale, Vespera♪"
"Hah… Hah…"
The fresh cruelty landed like a blow to the ribs. My head spun. Cold sweat sheeted down my spine in heavy rivulets. Lirian leaving me—impossible. It could never, ever happen. Unless someone had threatened him. There was no other reason he would—
"And then he tells you♪"
My breathing fractured. My thoughts locked solid. I wanted to slam my palms over my ears and drown her out, but my arms refused to obey.
Please, Thalia. No more of this. I beg you.
"Our bond ends here♪"
Lirian's whisper brushed my ear, colder than I had ever heard him. The face looking back at me was one I had never seen before. The boy I treasured above all else suddenly felt like a stranger wearing his skin.
Lirian…? I must have misheard. You would never speak so cruelly to me…
I'll pretend those words never reached me, so please…
thud
He tore his hand free with brutal finality. I reached after him, but the distance stretched impossibly wide.
Let's return to the cathedral together… I'll have every one of your favorite desserts waiting…
After a single night's rest you'll see things differently…
So please…
Please come back to my side…
A single drop struck the polished table.
I stared at the tiny splash, unable to tell whether it was sweat or something worse. I lifted trembling fingers to my eyes.
"V-Vespera?"
"…What?"
"Oh no…♪"
Thalia's startled tone made the truth sink in. The droplet was neither hot nor cold, just lukewarm and unmistakable. Tears. These were tears.
"…Hic…!"
Sight blurred at once. The moment I named them, the tears exploded outward in a violent flood. I scrubbed at my cheeks, but they kept coming, hot and endless. I buried my face in both hands and hunched forward, shoulders heaving.
I hated this entire situation. I hated Thalia for dragging me into it. I hated every living soul in the world except the one small boy who made my chest ache with helpless tenderness.
Thalia, you are supposed to be my closest friend—how could you push me this far…
"Hic…"
"…M-Maybe we should stop now♪"
"Sniff… You're awful, Thalia…"
"…S-Sorry about that…♪"
"Huuu… I don't want anything anymore… I hate it all…"
"V-Vespera…♪"
"Waaaah!"
I cried loud and ugly for a long time before the storm inside me finally began to ease.
—–
My stomach gave a loud, impatient growl.
I tapped the knife against the plain white plate, frowning to myself. Hmm… She really is late today.
I had been waiting for Vespera inside her private chambers, shifting in my chair every few minutes just to have something to do. The modest meal laid out on the table had long since lost its warmth. Whatever steam had once risen from the simple dishes was gone, leaving only cold food behind.
It always tastes best when it's hot…
Still, I couldn't start without her. So I kept waiting, eyes fixed on the closed door.
Yawn… This is so boring…
She had said she would stop by Countess Evergreen's Estate today. I knew the two of them were close, but I never thought it would keep her this long. Vespera was usually the one lecturing everyone else about punctuality.
Haaam…
My body always grew heavier once the sun dipped low. Maybe it was the quiet. No glowing screens, no instant distractions from the world I still remembered in fragments. This place could stretch time until it felt endless.
…Maybe I should lie down for a bit?
My back had started to ache from sitting so long. No one else was around to notice. I could stretch out on Vespera's bed, rest until she returned, and simply act as though I had never left the table.
The small voice in my head nudged me along. …Ah, whatever.
I talked myself into it and climbed onto the bed. A faint, familiar scent rose from the linens, warm and comforting in a way that made my shoulders loosen. The mattress sank softly under my weight, cradling me. Sleep rolled in fast and heavy.
I must have pushed hard through my duties today.
My eyelids drifted shut. I let the sweetness pull me under, sinking into deep, dreamless rest.