My belly grew from all the drinking and eating,
My stinking cock suddenly falls off.
I pull a little note out of it and put it back in shelf,
I start reading the letter — it's from Tyr,
The god of war, who's got a ton of cheese under his foreskin.
Written in the letter was a prophecy, Terrible and nauseating.
Homophobic warriors wanted to kill us,
Tyr sent their photo — they were incredibly handsome.
I regretted killing most of the gods,
And from that moment I found inner peace.
I didn't want to take anyone's life at all,
I just wanted to play with their asses.
I set off with the vikings to the war god's dwelling,
Word had reached me that he was damn handsome.
Tyr was tall and painted up,
He said we were turning him on massively.
He pointed at me and took me to bed,
I could barely believe I was about to rail the god of war.
I close my eyes and savor the moment,
Suddenly I open my eyes and feel terror.
Turns out it was Freya in disguise,
She looked nothing like a handsome gay man.
She said it was Loki's trick,
That scheming little bastard with his tiny dick.
I was filled with rage and killed Freya,
And promised I'd carve the word "faggot" on Loki's forehead.
They call me the gay avenger, When they hear the name Gejvald, the gods cum themselves. I imagined impaling Loki on my cock, I jerk off to that thought while putting on my makeup. I carved the word "Death" on my arm, I feel worthless because I slept with a woman.
I returned to Asgard to shave my pubes,
And while there pick up a certain talking head.
I took a razor and cut myself,
To destress I take a man to bed.
Sex with a woman left its mark on me,
I couldn't even get hard even when a guy was slapping with his heel.
So I figured I wouldn't delay any longer,
I'm going to ask the head where I can find that crafty bastard.
Mimir tells me he's hiding in Yggdrasil,
Picking up women there like the sly little punk he is.
So I set off for Bifrost once again,
Jerking off to thoughts of violating Loki.
I was punishing my noodle because it couldn't get hard anymore,
Loki's stunt gave me erectile dysfunction.
In Yggdrasil I found a secret hideout,
And climbed inside with an axe in hand.
Loki was impatiently waiting for me,
And waved his dick at me as a greeting.
He told me his cock was the cure,
For my impotence and my gluttony.
In viking rage I threw my axe,
Loki dodged it so I let out a fart.
After years of overeating it worked like a rocket,
Loki has phimosis and can't pull back his foreskin.
At the speed of light I hit him with my fist,
And landed it right in his solar plexus.
Loki collapsed from that blow,
And in desperation tried to shove his cock in my ass.
So I cut off Loki's dick,
And began treating my impotence.
My pipe got hard and I railed him in the ass,
And they proclaimed me the greatest Nordic gay of all.
That's how I was able to retire,
Yet I felt the power to conquer another mythology.
They call me the gay avenger, When they hear the name Gejvald, the gods cum themselves. I imagined impaling Loki on my cock, I jerk off to that thought while putting on my makeup. I carved the word "Death" on my arm, I feel worthless because I slept with a woman.
Loki the punk, Loki the rod, Loki the trash, Loki is a pipe.
Loki the punk, Loki the rod, Loki the trash, Loki is a pipe.