That night, the village square was suddenly packed, looking more like a night market. Locals had gathered, some munching on boiled peanuts while others unrolled mats on the grass.
In the center of the field, Ki Mangkurondo—a half-fraud, half-legit shaman from the next village over—sat cross-legged. Thick, pungent incense smoke billowed around him. The smell was enough to choke the entire square, no cap.
"Where is this Ki Kara Gugel?! Is he too scared to show?" Ki Mangkurondo roared. His voice thundered, likely thanks to some breathing technique (or maybe just a tiny megaphone hidden under his robes).
Suddenly, a massive gust of wind swept through. The elderly locals felt a sudden surge of adrenaline as the wind nearly blew away their sarongs and house-dresses. Kara called it the "Home-Wrecker Wind." I mean, if a guy's sarong slips, he's definitely getting a lecture from his wife at home. As for the ladies? They'd be accused of showing off too much "skin" just because their dresses were flapping in the gale.
Baskara emerged from behind the bushes with the coolest pose imaginable. He was rocking a black robe covered in glow-in-the-dark stickers—the kind you get for free with cheap 10-cent snacks.
"Chill, Old Man. My Khodam was just busy with a system update, so he's a bit laggy," Kara shot back, gripping a wooden staff that was actually just a broom handle painted black.
Ki Mangkurondo looked at him with pure disdain. "A fraud like you stands no chance against me."
Kara swallowed hard. Man, do I really have to have a supernatural showdown with this bearded geezer?
If you're wondering how we got here, let's rewind a bit.
Flashback
Currently, Baskara was in his shack, counting the money from yesterday's frog sales. Not bad—enough to feed him and his little brother for five days.
[Woah, that's a lot. Spare some change? My Boss needs some new underwear.]
Baskara shot the System a look of pure disgust. Was that robot boss really so broke that he couldn't afford a pair of boxers? I mean, Baskara knew he was poor, but this was a new low.
"Yesterday you said it was for your electricity bill, now it's for underwear?!" Baskara snapped.
[Sharing is caring, you 'burden of the world.' Don't be stingy, or your grave will be cramped. Cramped, squashed, sins skyrocketing—you'll be screaming the moment you hit hell.]
"Are you a robot or my life coach? Stop lecturing me, my ears are burning. Fine, I'll—"
"OY, YOU FRAUD SHAMAN!! GET OUT HERE!!"
A voice boomed from outside, loud enough to rival a sound system set to max volume.
Kara raised an eyebrow, confused. "Who's that? Tem, you know him?"
[Who?]
"The guy outside—"
[You're asking me? You're really asking? Let me tell you something: You have eyes, right? They still work? Not blind? You have legs too? Use them. Stop yapping and go look.]
Baskara glared at the System interface. You little...
"Who is it, Brother?" Cruel stepped out of his room. He had been in there practicing his dark arts without Baskara knowing.
"No idea. Let's go check it out."
Baskara walked out, followed by Cruel. Standing at the door was a man with a long white beard, draped in black robes. He was radiating pure hostility.
Crap, that's the elite shaman from the next village, Ki Mangkurondo. Rumor says he's so powerful he can buy a BMW X5 with a single client's fee. What's he doing here?
"Oh, Ki Mangkurondo! What brings you to my humble shack? Care to come in? We can talk—"
"You're the one calling yourself Ki Kara Gugel? The rookie who stole my top client and acts like some high-tier mage? I know you're a fake. My jin khodam already saw through you," Ki Mangkurondo interrupted.
Kara's heart skipped a beat. Wait, did this old man actually find out? Crap, the villagers will lynch me if they find out I'm a fraud.
"I don't follow, Sir—"
"Tonight, I challenge you to a duel. We settle this at the village square."
Kara gulped. A duel? He was a fake! Fighting a real shaman? Today was officially the worst.
"But Sir, you're my senior, I shouldn't—"
"Because of you, Mrs. Ratna dropped my services the moment you gave her that stupid talisman! Tonight, we prove who the real Shaman is."
Tem, am I really fighting a legit Khodam? What if I die?!
[If you die, we bury you. Simple.]
You useless piece of... Baskara glared at the System, who looked completely indifferent. It was definitely sulking because he didn't give it the money earlier.
"But Sir—"
"No 'buts.' I'll see you tonight. Don't run, or you'll regret it. I'm leaving. Staying in this dump too long might make me catch your 'poverty'." With that, Ki Mangkurondo vanished. Cruel, who had been listening the whole time, clenched his fists.
How dare that ugly old man insult my brother. Maybe I should teach him a lesson.
Baskara sighed, watching the shaman walk away. He needed a plan. Fast.
Flashback End
Back at the square, Baskara stood before Ki Mangkurondo. He kept his face stone-cold, despite his body literally trembling with fear.
Ki Mangkurondo began chanting. Suddenly, the wind picked up. Dry leaves swirled in the air.
"BEHOLD! THE WIND OF DEATH!" he shouted.
Baskara glanced behind a tree. The System was on standby. It immediately flipped the switch on three industrial fans they had "borrowed" from the village warehouse.
"That's it? That's all the wind you got?" Kara mocked, spreading his arms as if he were controlling the gale.
"BEHOLD! THE GHOST-SIGNAL STORM!"
The System cranked the speed to Level 3. The villagers had to literally hug trees to keep from flying away. Ki Mangkurondo's eyes widened as his own white beard got sucked into his mouth.
Baskara tried to do a classic anime villain laugh, but instead, he ended up swallowing a piece of a neighbor's fried snack that had been swept up by the wind.
"Tastes good," Baskara muttered. He was hungry, anyway.
Ki Mangkurondo was livid. He drew his ceremonial dagger (keris).
"ENOUGH! I SUMMON THE MOUNTAIN DRAGON!"
He chanted a long, dramatic mantra. But before any dragon could appear, a phone in his pocket started blaring. It wasn't a normal ringtone—it was the sound of a "Screaming Banshee" that the System had hacked onto his phone before the duel started.
"Ahhh... Master Mangkurondo... I miss you..." the voice leaked from the speaker.
The crowd went silent. The Village Chief stared. "Sir... is your mistress a ghost?"
Ki Mangkurondo panicked, his face turning beet red. While he was fumbling to turn off the phone, Baskara signaled the System.
'NOW, TEM!!'
The System turned on a second-hand projector, aiming it at Ki Mangkurondo's thick incense smoke. Because the smoke was so dense, the image looked incredibly real. And what was the image? A Giant Flying Flip-Flop hovering right over Ki Mangkurondo's head.
"BEHOLD! THE FLIP-FLOP OF JUDGMENT!" Baskara shouted, pointing at the sky. "It shall crush anyone who tells a lie tonight!"
The villagers screamed in terror. Ki Mangkurondo, who was actually a bit of a coward himself (being half-fraud and all), turned tail and ran for his life.
"MERCY! DON'T HIT ME WITH THE GIANT FLIP-FLOP!"
He ran so fast he slammed into a banana tree and knocked himself unconscious. The crowd cheered like they had just won a 2-trillion-dollar lottery.
Baskara finally exhaled, relieved. But then, a voice ruined the moment.
"DUEL ME, KI KARA GUGEL!!!"
A woman stepped out from the back. Kara frowned. Another shaman?
Who's that, Tem?
[You burden!! That's Nyai Mangkududo, Ki Mangkurondo's wife—and his teacher! I suggest you don't fight her unless you want to end up in a coffin.]
"Nyai Mangkududo?" Baskara repeated, his lip twitching as he fought back a laugh. "Let me guess... her hobby is hanging around the village office looking for lonely widowers?"
[Spot on, Burden. Her name literally means 'The Widower Worshipper.' She is the apex predator of single dads. Stay alert, or you'll be her next 'collection'.]
Hey! I'm not a widower, you stupid System! Baskara snapped internally.
He looked at the woman. She was dressed in all black, with... very heavy makeup. Those dark circles under her eyes... had she been awake for a year straight?
"Sorry, Ma'am, I don't fight women," Baskara said, making his voice as raspy as possible. It was so raspy he almost choked on a cough.
[Quit lying. You're just scared because her stats are way higher than her husband's.]
Kara stared at her, struggling to maintain his "cool" facade.
"It's a battle of wits and arts, Ki. Not a fistfight," Nyai Mangkududo sneered.
Kara tensed up. Was he really about to fight a Shaman-Boss?
"But Ma'am—"
SRET!!!!