"You're right, Ki! His mistress does love wearing jasmine perfume!" Mrs. Ratna became even more hysterical, her tears beginning to ruin her expensive mascara.
I nodded wisely, though my brain was elsewhere. That's a nice bag, I thought. If I sold that at a flea market, I could buy enough milk for Cruel to last a lifetime. But focus—today, I wasn't a thief; I was a (fake) spiritual practitioner.
"Nyai Ratna," I said, lowering my voice, "This isn't just about the scent of jasmine. This is a matter of... Digital Energy Transmission."
"Huh? What's that, Ki?" Mrs. Ratna asked, confused.
"Your husband's mistress is using a 'Parasitic WiFi' mantra. She's siphoning your husband's attention through invisible signal waves. Like a neighbor stealing WiFi, she puts in no effort but enjoys someone else's facilities." I used terms close to my heart (since that used to be my hobby).
Mrs. Ratna nodded in awe, as if I were reciting holy scripture. "Then what should I do, Ki?"
"We must perform the 'Disconnect Password' ritual," I said firmly. "You must place an offering under your husband's pillow. It consists of: one wooden matchstick with the head removed, and one flip-flop—remember, it must be the left one, and it must be used."
I pulled out a piece of used chewing gum that had turned black—as black as my sinful, chaotic future. It was actually just trash from my robe pocket, but to a panicked person, trash sounds like an amulet.
"Why a used flip-flop, Ki?"
"Because the left sandal symbolizes a wrong step. By keeping the left one, your husband will feel 'odd' every time he tries to step toward his mistress's house. He'll feel like he's wearing mismatched sandals to Friday prayer. Embarrassed and uncomfortable!"
Mrs. Ratna grabbed my dusty, dirty hand—dirt from when I'd swept the floor with my bare palms earlier—and kissed it reverently.
"Aki, you're amazing... you truly understand my suffering."
She reached into her bag, pulled out a thick brown envelope, and placed it on the table. My eyes sparkled, but I had to stay cool.
"Keep that, Nyai. Aki has no need for wealth," I said—a lie so big the recording angel was probably shaking his head in disbelief. "But if Nyai insists on giving an 'alms for the cleansing of sins,' Aki cannot refuse, as it would hinder my khodam's process."
Just as my hand was about to snatch the envelope...
"OI! KARA! WHERE'S MY CABLE PACKAGE? YOU TOOK IT FROM MY PORCH YESTERDAY, DIDN'T YOU!"
It was Mr. Taryo, the next-door neighbor whose package I had "secured" at my house. Apparently, he'd realized I was the culprit. Dammit. Seriously, I'd rather be hit by falling laundry again than have my dignity drop in front of my first client over a stolen package.
I cleared my throat loudly, trying to drown out my neighbor's cave-sized mouth.
"Nyai, do not fear... that is the voice of my khodam spirit chanting mantras!"
"Oh... Aki is so powerful, even his khodam has started chanting!" Mrs. Ratna chirped in admiration.
Thank God for stupid clients, I thought, slowly sliding the envelope into my robe.
"By the way, Nyai, do you have a photo of this mistress?"
Mrs. Ratna nodded slowly, her mind clearly a mess. she pulled out the latest flip-phone model. When I saw the photo, I nearly choked.
Was I seeing things? That was Sarah, Mr. Taryo's wife! I knew she liked dressing up flashy and going out at night without her husband's knowledge. And her husband, Mr. Taryo? He was the type who bragged about his wife to everyone, even strangers. Yikes, does he know yet?
I cleared my throat again to snap out of it.
'System, that's definitely Taryo's wife, right?'
[No mistake, you Burden.]
'Fufu, looks like I have a better idea for making money after this.'
I smirked to myself.
"Ki? Ki Kara Google!" Mrs. Ratna's voice broke my trance.
"Ah, yes, Nyai."
"Are you possessed, Ki? Why are you smiling like that?"
"Ahem! No, Nyai. I was just clairvoyantly scanning the mistress's background. According to my vision, she is already married."
Mrs. Ratna gasped. "Incredible, Ki! You can see all that?"
"It is a simple matter for me."
[Ugh, such a show-off. Proud of your sins, are we?]
'Shut up, dog.'
I sighed and looked at Mrs. Ratna. "Please close your eyes for a moment," I said, making my voice raspy.
She innocently obeyed.
[What are you going to do to this woman?]
'Just shut up and watch my magic.'
I grinned. Instead of being intimidated, the System looked at me like I was a wandering lunatic.
[Yikes. Why the face? You think you look cool? You look like you're possessed by a pocket-ghost.]
I opened the hut's window, intending to let a breeze in to relax her, but the unexpected happened. A blanket belonging to Sarah (the mistress next door) blew off her clothesline and landed right on Mrs. Ratna's face.
"Aki! What is this?! Why am I covered in a white cloth that smells like sunflowers and... old dampness?" Mrs. Ratna screamed from under the blanket.
I froze. Don't panic. Turn your sins into blessings (lies).
"Don't open it, Nyai! That is the Ghostly Anti-Mistress Veil!" I shouted, trying to keep my voice steady. "That cloth descended directly from the heavens—er, I mean, from the Holy Laundry Dimension—to wrap your negative aura so your husband's mistress can't detect it!"
Mrs. Ratna went silent. She actually hugged the blanket tightly.
"Oh... no wonder it smells like fresh laundry, Ki. Is this the scent of honesty?"
"Indeed, Nyai. The scent of 'Downy'—I mean, the scent of the Dunya-wi (Worldly) sanctified," I replied, wiping cold sweat.
Just as things calmed down, a second disaster struck. My rickety hut had no privacy. Through a gap in the bamboo walls, a black snout appeared. Not a khodam, but the neighbor's dog, Blacky.
Blacky had been my arch-nemesis since I inhabited Baskara's body. This morning, I'd stolen a bone from his bowl to use as a "sacred relic" for the hut.
"WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!"
Blacky started digging under the wooden table where I'd placed the envelope.
"Aki... what's that sound? Does it sound like a hellhound?" Mrs. Ratna trembled, the blanket still over her head.
"That... that is the Hound at the Gate of Lies!" I blurted out. "He knows your husband is hiding something! He has come to bark at the direction of your husband's wallet!"
But Blacky grew more aggressive. He squeezed through a hole in the floor and, with one snap, bit the flip-flop I'd called a "talisman."
"HEY! NOT THAT ONE! THAT'S THE NEW SWALLOW SANDAL I STOLE THIS MORNING!" I yelled, slipping up.
Mrs. Ratna pulled the blanket from her face. "Huh? Stole, Ki?"
I froze. Dammit, the tongue is slicker than a wet floor.
"I mean... Stole the Attention of Destiny!" I said quickly, trying to give her my most mystical gaze. "I 'stole' the aura of that sandal from the universe for you. Now, the dog is taking it away to carry your bad luck into the forest!"
Mrs. Ratna exhaled deeply, her face full of awe again.
"Aki, you really go all out to help people. You even commanded a dog to take my bad luck away."
She stood up, folded the blanket (which she was now taking home as a charm), and said her goodbyes.
"Thank you, Ki. I'll add a bit more to the alms since you let a hellhound into your hut for my sake."
She placed another envelope down and walked out with a confident stride—accidentally stepping into a puddle in her excitement.
Once her luxury car drove off, I collapsed. I sat on the ground, counting the money. It was all red bills! Enough for food for me and Cruel for a month, and even enough for gifts for the hospital visit to see Mr. Beard.
"Not bad," I muttered, lighting a stolen match. "Being a sinner in the real world is hard, but being a sinner in the spiritual world... is very profitable."
Suddenly, the System's voice chimed in.
[Wow, nice haul. Give me half later to pay for the electricity subscription. My boss's salary hasn't cleared, and the minimum wage dropped. Poor boss has to carry it all.]
I rolled my eyes. I did all the talking; why did the System want a cut? I nodded anyway.
Just as I tucked the envelope into my pocket, Cruel was standing in the doorway, staring at me intensely.
Since when did this kid get home?!!!
"Brother..." Cruel's voice was deep.
I swallowed hard. "Y-yes, little brother? What is it?"
"Who have you been talking to? Why are you dressed in all black?" he asked intimidatingly.
"Uh... I... I was working, kid..."
Cruel walked closer. Dammit, my legs wouldn't move out of fear.
"You're not the real Baskara, are you?"
Cruel's eyes pierced mine, deep and sharp like the Mariana Trench. His voice was heavy.
Thump!!!
My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach.
Was I caught? But how?...
[Warning! The Little Devil has sensed the Burden's presence!! He knows the Burden is just a wandering soul!! Sudden notice: System must leave now, called by the Admin!]
With that, the System vanished.
Baskara's POV End.
Baskara stared in disbelief at the ceiling where the System had disappeared. Crazy. That broke System has no loyalty at all.
"El... I-I can explain—"
SLAM!!!!