SLAM!
Annoyed, Gui Chang shoved the sliding door shut, shaking the entirety of that old building and attracting countless eyes in their direction. She kept her hand placed against the handle; it twitching a bit before she finally turned to face Tao Hua.
He was trying to position the books comfortably, some in his hands and others tucked in an old, poorly tied piece of fabric.
"Happy?!" she said, standing next to Tao Hua. "You went in for one book, and now you came out with…oh, too many! Ugh, what is your father going to say? I don't want to deal with this…"
In all truth, Tao Hua was less frightened of wasting his father's money, and more frightened of losing his only chance at a friend. He never once had the opportunity, and he wasn't sure how his father would react to the situation.
It was better to get scolded for something he'd already done time and time again. He could handle that consequence.
And yet, he still frowned, staring down at the books. To Gui Chang's question, he slowly shook his head, the flat cover of the top book fluttering with his breath.
He still hadn't found his lost book, and now he had a pile of books he'd never read. To add to the problem, walking into The Bookstore now had a different feeling; lonesome. Once, Tao Hua was fine with that quiet and sitting in the corner, and now? It made his heart ache.
Oh, how today mirrored yesterday, in all the wrong ways.
This only made him miss Lord No-Name more than ever. What a sad individual he was, glancing around, looking past each window, stall, in hopes to see the same black and gold he once saw before.
Such an obsessive, sad freak of an invalid he was.
"…" Gui Chang loosened her tightened posture and joined Tao Hua in his frown. After a moment longer of this silence, and watching Tao Hua's shoulders slump further and further, she did something neither were expecting.
She gently placed a hand on Tao Hua's back, and with and said, "We can buy a new book and turn it into something more—would you like that? Maybe you can fill it with the next chapter of your life. Make it worthwhile; I know you can create something special."
Tao Hua's eyes just lowered.
"Right…?" Gui Chang's hand hovered over his shoulder, and with a pleading smile, she added, "Who know's what the future'll bring for you, Tao Hua. I…I'm here for you."
He knew that everything said was done with sincerity, but that sincerity was hidden behind a giant exception. Neither would be in this position, caring for each other, if they weren't forced.
That's why none of it felt real.
And even more, Gui Chang acted as if she understood him, but she didn't. That book of his couldn't be replaced with money—no amount of money would ever bring back the dead.
But…she was trying, and he couldn't fault her for using the only means she had available.
Gui Chang grew up as the youngest in a rich household of many, birthed by numerous concubines. Each child was raised with a purpose rather than an identity. Men were educated and treated with complete importance, while the women were trained to be shipped off as trophies and to please those men.
Value over sentimentality.
Everything in life had a price, and when something is labelled with numbers, it can be replaced. That was the ruthless motto of the Gui household.
Therefore, Gui Chang had to compete in order to survive, lest she get beaten up and potentially shipped off as a slave to the Imperial Capital. This was the birthing ground for what bred the heaviest and most daunting perfectionist complex in any person ever.
A woman designed to be the perfect daughter, unable to make mistakes. She achieved this, and greatly so—managing to gain the favour of one of Zhonglai's richest merchants at the mere age of thirteen.
Things seemed to be going up for her, only for them to crash down, and little did she know that her future partner would turn out to be the least competent, mistake-ridden man she'd ever lay her eyes on.
And that was who Gui Chang presented herself as. But truths always shone brightest in one's eyes. Tao Hua knew that, deep down, Gui Chang wanted to experience all the same that he did, and he knew that hidden were countless books she'd taken from Tao Hua.
All romantic, and all with happy endings.
Glancing over at her, he saw how pained her expression was, and all she was holding back in that sympathetic gaze of hers. So, Tao Hua lied, saying, "I'd like that."
With a warm smile, she nudged Tao Hua toward the people-filled street. There were many eyes, and most were staring at the two of them. As Gui Chang strolled past Tao Hua, walking at a pace nearly twice as fast as his, he noticed her straightened back and stiffened shoulders.
She didn't turn her head once and kept it straight ahead.
That was the cost of walking with as heavily scrutinized as the Village Letdown.
Tao Hua kept a safe distance behind her, staring down at the pile of books and avoiding the onlookers. He counted them over and over, but nothing seemed to help the anxiety that he felt in the pit of his stomach.
Then, to his worst nightmare, someone called out, "Miss Gui!"
Gui Chang stopped, forcing Tao Hua to do the same. Turning her head, she found a woman waving her hand, the other cupped around her mouth.
It was the same lady from the day before, the exact one who lectured Tao Hua for his treatment of elders, and the exact one who watched him walk down the street with a tall, intimidating man.
That lady.
Tao Hua immediately locked up, his breaths shallow and shaky.
"It's been a while since I've seen you out and about, Miss Gui!" the woman said as she approached the pair. It was such a stark difference, the treatment between Tao Hua and Gui Chang. "I hear you've been a busy lady! Nothing good things, all said by the headman!"
Please don't, please don't, please don't. Tao Hua repeated the thought. This time, there really wasn't much he could do to prevent the situation. If he were to raise another scene, then Gui Chang would surely figure out something was amiss, but if they conversed, then he also risked her finding out the exact reason Tao Hua missed the mock banquet.
What to do…what to do?
"My apologies for not dropping by sooner, Elder Sister Jiang." Gui Chang addressed the woman with a bow. "It's good to see you."
"Oh, hush! You're fine!" she said, tucking her basket under her arm and swishing her hand in the air. "You've got stress written all over your face; I wouldn't dare bother you. Have you been sleeping?"
Though Tao Hua stood right next to Gui Chang, and it was clear the two were together, it was as if he hadn't once existed to this woman. So, he just placed his chin on the pile of books and swayed his foot back and forth while the two conversed.
Every glide across that ground felt like a million years, egged on by boredom and anxiety.
"It's hard to sleep when there's still so much left to do," Gui Chang replied, lifting herself up from the bow. There wasn't much vigour in her to speak, and it was clear she wanted this conversation to end sooner rather than later.
"I head, I heard. How sad." Elder Sister Jiang clicked her tongue, looking past Gui Chang and toward Tao Hua. He was now scraping a pebble under his boot, sifting it from one side of the brick to the other. With a frown, she replied, "It must be difficult having to care for everything in that household yourself, especially with the headman gone every other week. When my son got married, he was at his now wife's every beck and call, I'm telling you! A good man."
The pebble stopped just as Tao Hua lightly hovered his boot over it. It took every bone in his body not to throw the pile of books on the ground and angrily stomp that rock into smithereens.
That's because he got to choose who to marry! He thought, huffing and grinding that pebble against the ground. That's why it's easy for them. They're in love.
Amid Tao Hua's spiralling, he zoned out of their conversation. His thoughts ventured between anxiety, regret, and then ended up on the small sliver of hope that was three words: until next time.
Oh, how he wanted that now more than ever.
He began to think about their time the day previous, and how by now he'd already have made it past the crowd. It was enough to colour his cheeks a light shade of pink and cause him to discreetly hide behind the books.
However, his ears would soon perk up at their conversation, hearing something oddly familiar to his own thoughts. Glancing over, he saw Gui Chang side-eyeing him while still speaking to Elder Sister Jiang.
And she didn't look happy.
"The old shopkeeper back in the bookstore mentioned something about that," she said. "I don't think Master Tao is aware."
Eyes widening, Tao Hua's hands trembled, and all the books he held in his hands fell to the ground for the second time that day.
As the saying goes: speak of the devil, and they shall come.
Even in the words of gossip.
Chapter end.
ILLUSTRATION IN THE COMMENTS (I'll post once it's done)