In an angry flurry of stomps, Gui Chang began to drag Tao Hua through the Southern Gate and toward the Tao Estate. The path was a short one, only lasting a good ten minutes, and was rather barren. There were few trees, some bushes, but mostly fields on either side.
As for the books…Gui Chang offered them to whoever needed them as burning supplies.
"So that's where you were, huh?!" she yelled, turning her head and glaring at Tao Hua. Her eyes fumed, and each step taken was aggressive enough that he was convinced she'd create small craters in the beige, dusty earth. "Idling with some stranger while I had to explain why you weren't there to your own practice dinner?! Are you kidding me, Tao Hua?! Just because he gave you two fucking seconds of his time!"
Each shout only made her walk faster and faster, to the point Tao Hua had to stumble in order to keep up with her. But her nails were fastened tightly against Tao Hua's arm, and no amount of wincing or whining would make her remove them. They just dug right into him with each bout of anger.
"All of that work, all the people whispering about me, mocking me, PITYING ME—you left all that to me while you fucked around with some rich man!" She seethed, baring teeth. "What do you think your father would think, Tao Hua?! Oh! But you don't give a shit, do you?! You never give a shit about anyone but yourself!"
"I-I'm sorry!" Tao Hua cried, panting as he desperately tried to keep up with Gui Chang. "I…I swear I lost track of time! I r-really meant to be there!"
Her face only contorted with more stress, seeping into Tao Hua.
"I really didn't mean to put all that stress on you, Miss Gui—"
"GUI CHANG!" she roared, enough to scare away every bird perched upon the few trees nearby.
They flapped into the sky, just as the two stood staring at each other. One was heaving so hard she could have been mistaken for the wind, while the other shook with the force of an earthquake, terrified.
"I…I…" Tao Hua stammered, staring at her helplessly.
"It's Gui Chang for the last fucking time! I'm so sick and tired of hearing 'Miss Gui' this and 'Miss Gui' that!" She mocked in a nasally tone. "And I'm more sick of hearing the word sorry! You're not sorry, you've never been sorry! If you were, you wouldn't keep making the same mistakes over and over again!"
In a manic laugh, she scratched the side of her head and hopelessly added, "But for some fucking reason you care enough to hide whoever this mysterious man is! Am I really that sad of a woman that I can't compete with a man?!"
Tao Hua's face dropped entirely, and the shaking finally stopped. All that remained was a frown that creased at the corners of his mouth and a stomach filled with guilt.
She was right; Tao Hua did waste her time and treated her as nothing more but an afterthought. None of this was her doing, and yet he treated it as if it were, avoiding her.
Bottom lip trembling, Tao Hua lifted his hand toward her despite the distance, and stammered out a few, "I…I…I…" before he was forced to clamp his mouth shut.
"Don't. Just stop. I really, really don't want to hear it," she said, holding her own hand up, looking ready to cry at a moment's notice. "Let's just go back home and get ready for the banquet. The other nobles will be arriving and we already wasted so much time dealing with your messes."
Tao Hua looked toward the ground. Even now, midst Gui Chang's inevitable breakdown, Tao Hua was thinking about himself. He linked together his hands, and anxiously rubbed them together, close to his chest.
"What?" Gui Chang breathed. "What could it possibly be this time?"
"…could you keep this from father…please?"
"…" For a long while, Gui Chang just stared at Tao Hua. None of it was what she wanted to hear, but she also knew she wasn't ever going to hear it. So, after a moment of calming herself down, she finally replied, "So you're aware this is a bad thing?"
Nothing. Just a sad-looking man staring down at the dusty, cracked road.
"I don't get it, Tao Hua. What's so great about this person you literally just met that you'd throw away your entire life for? What? To spend a single afternoon together? Do you understand the implications behind that?" she asked.
No answer, still. There was so much Tao Hua could say about his time with this man, and what it meant to him, but nothing came out. He knew she wouldn't be able to understand.
And admittedly, he didn't either.
"Whatever. Fine. I won't tell him." In an act of giving up, Gui Chang threw her hands into the air, causing Tao Hua to shoot his head up and look at her. Though she looked like a beaten-down woman on the brink of a stroke, nothing could stop the hopeful glint in his eyes. But that sparkle immediately dulled the moment she added, "Under the condition you treat this celebration with the utmost sincerity. No leaving for an afternoon, no books hidden under your robe at the banquets, none of…"
She took a hand, motioning it from Tao Hua's head to his foot, and repeating it a few times. "This."
It took Tao Hua a minute before he slowly nodded, and that nod felt as though he was officially signing his life away.
Gui Chang swiftly turned away from Tao Hua and started up the hill, not looking back once or questioning if he was going to follow her up. So, he just stood there, unable to say a word, every part of him dying from the inside out.
When he finally ascended that hill, he looked up at the grand Tao Estate. Any person would be lucky to live in such a place, but Tao Hua only felt complete dread when gawking upon its glory.
Standing by the gate stood Gui Chang, her hand on the handle. She glowered down at Tao Hua, impatiently waiting for him to arrive as she shoved the door open.
But Tao Hua only slowed down. This wasn't purposeful, or done to hurt Gui Chang—this was Tao Hua savouring the last few minutes he had left of the life he once knew, and all the dreams he'd leave behind.
There was nothing left to save him.
As if a ball and chain were tied to his ankle, he slowly stomped, one small step at a time, wishing for that imaginary weight to drag him down.
But it never would. When did things ever go well for Tao Hua?
Meeting Gui Chang, he tried to offer her the weakest smile he could muster, but all she did was stare at him lifelessly. In that moment, when she moved past and into the Tao Estate, Tao Hua finally understood the harsh reality of growing up.
He wasn't ever made to be happy, and it was better that he got used to it. It was all taken by someone else, and neither left even a drop behind for him.
Such a dreadful thought. Tao Hua let out a strong and heavy exhale, staring up at the beams of the Tao Estate gate. Little birds danced upon it happily, pecking at the twigs that peeked out from each groove in those horned arches.
It was a beautiful day, as were most days in that quaint little town, hidden in the middle of a haunted forest. Nothing ever seemed to go wrong.
While witnessing such serenity, Tao Hua thought, What's worse? Living a life trapped in a tower filled with expectations, or embracing the title of "Good-For-Nothing Invalid?"
The abuse, becoming a disgrace…suddenly that didn't seem like such a bad idea if it meant licking the ground for the small droplets of happiness offered to him.
But he'd just turn his head down and head into the state.
Neither was good, and realistically, both sucked.
Why couldn't there ever be a third option?
Chapter end.