I woke up before my watch so I could bring myself before Tokkiel.
Through the inner walls I walked, taking my time, nervous to bring myself in. My steps made sounds clattering throughout the halls. My heart raced the closer I got to his chamber.
I cannot go back. I must move forward.
I repeated this in my head over and over. I wanted the voice of the one to leave my mind. I wanted to go back to the watch when nothing happened. When I could just talk to the others and share rounds like it was.
I finally made it to the golden doors of his chamber. They were glorious, ornamented with images of battles long fought and won. I heard a voice thundering beyond the doors speaking to me, "Come, I have been waiting for you Tokarn."
My hands push open the door, light streaming from the chamber. My eyes are blinded. Light is such a magnificent and horrible thing. He hides this from the rest of us down here?
"Tokkiel, I must tell you something."
"I know why you have come, you seek unity with Mirela so that you might grow your family name, Tokarn son of Tonei."
He must not be able to sense my infection. I can't tell him now.
"Yes, that is what I seek, will you give your blessing on us?"
"I will, for you have been nothing but honest to me in this time of deceit. Be wary of what you hear, Tokarn, for lies spread fast these days."
I nodded and left. My shift was soon to begin and yet again I did not tell him what I am oathed to.
I climbed the steps to the watch. Kept the fire lit in its soft light. The previous watcher was nowhere to be seen, not even on the way up as I usually saw them. I believe Qimos was her name.
She must have left early to get a drink. I won't say anything in case any punitive measures would be placed on her for she seemed to be a kind yet brutish one.
I sat in wait. My desire to see the creature was less than before. I didn't want to be seen by it. I didn't want to be seen by anyone, not even Mirela.
Clattering in the shadows did not grant that desire. I put my head down not wanting to even acknowledge the presence.
It felt different this time as though it was a different creature. Warm. I was not afraid.
Lifting my head, I saw faint light in the distance but without form. I could not see what it was giving the light. It seemed to be a mere lamp sitting upon a root's ledge.
Pulsing.
Looking behind me I saw Tokkiel speaking softly to me but I could not hear him. My vision faded, but before it was fully gone I saw the creature and it was beautiful.