I opened the app again and met a guy my age.
We started texting, but I wasn't really interested.
He wasn't like the others. He was… normal.
He invited me to hang out at the beach, not straight to his room like everyone else.
I remember thinking, this guy must be crazy.
But the only crazy person here… was me.
After two days of texting, out of boredom, loneliness, and that need to hurt myself again, I agreed to meet him.
Even before seeing him, I was already thinking of excuses—
ways to leave, ways to run.
But then he showed up.
Young. Handsome. Calm. Normal.
And I thought… okay, this is strange.
He suggested we go to a beach he liked.
I had never been there before.
We went straight into the water and started talking…
About everything.
Like we had known each other our whole lives.
Damn… I met someone normal in all this mess.
I'm not the only one.
Our first "date" in the water lasted three hours,
but it felt like ten minutes.
I think I fell in love.
He spoke nicely. He was smart.
But… he also lied a lot.
And made promises.
Just like me.
Karma is a strange thing.
Everything I did to others… he did to me.
He told me he liked me.
That I meant something to him.
And even though I saw through it, I kept telling myself:
I say the same things to others and disappear… he'll do the same to me.
Then I'd switch again:
No… not everyone is like me. I'm the broken one. He's normal.
We saw each other every day while he was there.
Four days in a row.
During the day we would hang out,
and at night we would meet in a hidden place…
and kiss.
I enjoyed it.
But I was also afraid.
Afraid of what would happen when he left.
Then the last night came.
His final night.
I called him, begged him to come out.
He kept making excuses, saying he might not be able to.
After two hours of convincing him…
he finally came.
When I think about how much I begged him…
how much I lowered myself…
I feel disgusted with myself.
But that night was still beautiful.
He held me. Kissed me.
At one point, he hugged me and said we should just sit and look at the sea.
He told me I was the best thing that had happened to him.
And I told him he meant something to me.
But I didn't say the truth.
I didn't say that I had fallen in love.
What am I doing…
Falling in love with someone like this…
Aladin.
He was all I could think about.
Something is wrong with me.
In the morning… he left.
I texted him.
His replies were cold.
He told me I was great…
but that he didn't want anything more.
That we should stay just a summer adventure.
Maybe something to repeat… someday.
I begged him to stay in touch.
Told him I would come visit him.
He got scared.
Said no.
That it should end here.
That hurt.
Why say all those things to me?
Why make promises?
But then I understood…
Karma.
It always comes back.
I hurt people.
I hurt myself.
And now… it all came back to me.
Through him.
I spent the whole summer thinking about him.
Going back to our places.
Our beach.
He wasn't just someone I liked…
I missed him.
And I didn't know how to get over it.
Unless I hurt myself even more.
Because maybe…
I deserved it.
Maybe I don't deserve love.
So I met someone older.
I could see the way he looked at me…
Like he wanted to use my body.
To feel youth again.
And me?
I just wanted to feel used.
Dirty.
So I made him an offer.
That night…
I crossed a line I can never erase.
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If this story made you feel something, please add it to your library. It truly motivates me to keep going. ---