The professor… he's not a bad person, I can't say that.
We met randomly on a dating app.
We exchanged explicit photos.
When it came to a video call, I didn't recognize him at first—he had taken off his glasses, and he usually wears them.
He looked good to me.
So I said, "Okay, come."
He told me we might know each other.
He recognized me.
He started asking how I would react if we actually knew each other.
I said, "It's fine… maybe even better."
Then he said, "Okay. I'm coming."
While I was waiting for him outside my building…
and when he finally appeared—
my heart started racing.
Oh no… it can't be him.
What do I do now?
He smiled and said,
"I told you we know each other."
Honestly, I wanted to tell him I couldn't do it.
But then I thought—
what if he gets angry?
What if he makes things even harder for me at college?
Not that things were going well anyway.
I let him in.
We started getting close.
My heart was beating like crazy.
He asked me,
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Why are you so nervous? Relax…"
He was kind.
Kinder than at college.
He told me I was beautiful.
That he would have never thought I was into this.
That he wanted to see me again.
And me…
I just wanted him to leave.
To leave me alone.
But I lied.
I told him we would keep seeing each other.
That I liked him too.
That he was attractive.
I lied.
Because I lie well.
Maybe I've become a pathological liar.
Because I live two lives.
One calm and "good"…
and the other one—dirty and broken.
After about half an hour, he left.
I deleted my profile on the app.
I didn't want him to text me.
I don't want to see him again.
Not even at college.
I just hope I won't.
I'm scared.
After all of that…
I failed the year again.
At home, I said everything was fine.
That I still have exams.
That I'm doing okay.
I'm back in the second year.
And my family thinks I'm in the fourth.
Life feels heavy…
when all you do is lie
and hide.
I decided to go work at the coast.
To earn money.
To pay for the year.
At least to help my family somehow.
I took the job and left.
And everything was… good.
The people I worked with were nice.
The job wasn't hard.
I actually liked it.
But after two peaceful weeks…
something came back.
That urge.
To fall again.
To meet someone.
To feel something.
My mind was telling me:
No.
Don't do it.
Things are finally getting better.
Don't destroy it again.
But I didn't listen.
I'm an idiot.
I installed the app again.
And that's when it started all over.
New people.
New "adventures."
For the first time…
I fell in love.
But I also…
sold my body.
That's enough for now.
I'll continue tomorrow. 💔
---If this story made you feel something… please add it to your library. It truly means more than you think.---