To forget Aladin… to forget everything… I opened the app again.
That's where I met him.
A man 25 years older than me.
He seemed kind. Like he had good intentions.
I didn't.
I asked him for money.
I told him it would be a gift…
and in return, I would give him what he wanted.
He agreed.
Honestly, I thought he wouldn't.
That's when fear hit me.
I had never done this before.
What was I doing?
I couldn't blame him.
I was the one who asked.
I was the one who offered.
For a moment, I forgot about Aladin.
But then my mind started racing.
What if he tricks me?
Am I selling myself now?
Did I just put a price on my own body?
A million questions.
No answers.
We agreed to meet in three hours.
During that time, I tried to work…
But I couldn't focus.
Everything felt heavy.
Like I had already ruined something inside me.
One thought kept repeating:
I'm about to give my body for money.
What does that make me?
I told myself no.
I don't want this.
But I still went.
I thought maybe he wouldn't even give me the money.
But when I entered the room…
The money was already on the table.
He looked good.
Calm. Polite.
We started.
He was present.
I wasn't.
While he was with me…
I was just staring at the money.
He started saying the usual things.
That I'm handsome.
That he likes me.
That it feels good.
He asked me how I felt.
I said, "It's great… you're good… I like it."
I lied.
I felt nothing.
I just wanted to take the money and leave.
At one point, I even thought about leaving without taking it.
Instead, I lied again.
I told him we should stop…
that I had to go… that I was in a hurry.
I wasn't.
I promised him we would meet again tomorrow.
Told him not to disappear.
Told him I enjoyed it.
He believed me.
I got dressed.
Turned around.
Took the money.
And said, "See you tomorrow."
The moment I left…
I blocked him.
Because that's what I do best.
I lie.
And everything always comes back to me.
I kept looking at the money.
Wondering if it was real.
What am I supposed to do with this?
It wasn't a huge amount.
But it wasn't small either.
I wanted to spend it immediately.
To get rid of it.
Like it didn't belong to me.
Because it didn't feel earned.
It felt wrong.
There's a war inside me.
A constant fight.
Between who I am…
what I do…
and what I believe in.
And the worst part is…
I'm afraid of God.
I took the money…
and left a part of myself in that room.
---
If this story made you feel something, please add it to your library. It really motivates me to keep writing. ---