Exams were finally over and the cafeteria felt like a celebration nobody officially planned.
Duan and his friends dropped into their usual seats and dug into their food with the kind of relief that only comes after two weeks of surviving on stress and instant noodles.
"I never want to see another sketchbook in my life," Dom declared.
"You say that every time," Fah said.
"Because I mean it every time."
They laughed and ate and talked about absolutely nothing important. Then Dom paused mid chew and turned to look at Duan.
"Please tell me you have a plan."
"For what?"
"Jun is going home for the holidays. Three weeks. No Jun." Dom raised his eyebrows. "What are you going to do?"
Duan's chopsticks stopped moving.
Three weeks.
"Three weeks is nothing," Dom said. "Be a man."
Fah smacked the back of his head.
"Ow—"
"Shut up and let him process."
Duan set his chopsticks down and slumped dramatically over the table. "Three weeks. I'm not going to see my Jun for three whole weeks."
"Your Jun," Dom repeated.
"My Jun."
"He's not yours yet dimwit."
"He will be."
Dom opened his mouth. Fah pointed at him without looking. Dom closed it.
Duan whined quietly into the table for another minute then sat back up and continued eating. His mind was elsewhere though. They had made so much progress. The chuckle. The direct conversation. Jun telling him to just ask if he wanted to know something. Three weeks felt like a lot to lose.
What if Jun came back next semester and had completely forgotten all of it.
"Stop thinking so loud," Fah said.
Duan stabbed a piece of pork.
Back at his condo he dropped his bag and reached for his phone out of habit.
Jun had posted a story.
He tapped it open immediately.
It was a picture of the sea. Simple, quiet, no caption. Just the water stretching out flat and grey blue to the horizon.
So Jun.
Duan lay back on his bed and stared at it until it timed out. He didn't know how he was going to survive three weeks of sea pictures and no actual Jun.
Jun's house was big and quiet the way it always was.
His mother was in the living room with a cup of coffee when he walked in which already surprised him. His parents were usually somewhere else — meetings, flights, the general busyness of people who ran things. He greeted her with a bow and made his way toward his room.
"Lunch," she called after him.
He turned back around.
They ate at the dining table, the three of them, mostly in silence. His father asked how school was. Jun said it was fine. His mother asked if he had settled well into second year.
"Jet helped," Jun said.
She nodded looking relieved. Jun and Jet had been close since high school and she had always been grateful for that. It was part of why she'd agreed to the transfer in the first place — Jet was already in Bangkok, their families had known each other for years, and she trusted that Jun wouldn't be completely alone. It made things easier.
His phone chimed on the table.
He checked it. Put it down.
It chimed again.
And again.
He picked it up. It was Duan. A string of food pictures followed by — having lunch. what are you doing?
Jun typed back. Also having lunch. Don't disturb me.
His mother cleared her throat.
He put the phone face down and went back to his food.
That evening Duan came out of the shower toweling his hair and picked up his phone to find he'd been added to a group chat on Line.
Jet had created it. Everyone was in it — Dom, Fah, Chawin, Jun and a few others. They were already deep in a conversation about a beach trip during the break. Dates, locations, who was bringing what.
Duan sat up on his bed and scrolled through everything.
Then he went straight to Jun's DM.
Did you see the group?
Jun replied after a while. Yes.
Are you going?
I don't know.
Duan typed quickly. I miss you. I really want you to come.
He put the phone down.
He picked it back up almost immediately.
Unread.
He stared at that for a moment then set the phone on his nightstand. Jun always read his messages eventually. Just not tonight apparently.
If Jun wasn't going then he wasn't going either. Simple as that.
He told himself that and almost believed it and fell asleep before he could think about it any further.