The afternoon was especially hot. Or maybe Duan was just panicking too much to tell the difference.
He sat at the cafe with Dom, Fah and Jet, their suitcases lined up beside the table, drinks sweating in the heat. Chawin was running late and they were waiting.
He hadn't wanted to come.
He had made that very clear approximately fifteen times over the past two days and Dom and Fah had slapped the idea out of him every single time.
"Your life does not revolve around Jun," Fah had said with a patience that suggested it was running out. "If you make yourself completely available every second of every day he's going to get bored of you. Go. Have fun. Be a person."
So here he was. Being a person. Allegedly.
His leg bounced under the table. He checked his watch. Checked the door. Checked his watch again.
"You're giving me a headache," Dom said flatly. "Stop."
Duan ran his hand through his hair for what was probably the sixth time since they'd sat down. Jun had replied to the group chat saying he wasn't sure he was coming and Duan had been in a quiet spiral ever since. He just wanted him to walk through that door. Even with Chawin. Just — through the door. That was all he was asking.
The door chimed.
Jun walked in first, Chawin half a step behind him.
He was wearing shorts and a light loose shirt, the first three buttons undone, pale chest catching the afternoon light through the cafe windows.
Duan sat very still and said absolutely nothing.
Happiness hit him somewhere behind the ribs and just stayed there, warm and a little overwhelming. The butterflies that had taken up residence in his stomach since Loy Krathong woke up all at once.
"Finally," Jet said, leaning back in his chair. "We've been here for ages."
"Sorry," Chawin said, slightly out of breath. "I had to convince someone."
Jun said nothing and looked at nothing in particular.
Duan gripped the edge of the table and tried to look like a normal person.
---
Their van pulled up outside and they all grabbed their bags. Duan moved before anyone else, lifting Jun's suitcase smoothly and loading it into the back compartment before Jun had fully registered what was happening.
He dusted his hands and stood beside him while the others sorted out the rest of the bags.
"Thank you for coming," Duan said.
Jun glanced at him. "You're practically in my face."
Duan took a small step back.
"I didn't come because of you," Jun said.
Duan's smile wavered. Just for a second. Then it came back, smaller and softer than usual. "I know. I'm just happy you showed up."
Jun looked at him for a brief moment. Then he cleared his throat and got into the van with his headphones already going in.
---
Duan took the seat beside him immediately. Obviously.
The drive was two hours and the van hummed steadily through the afternoon traffic. Conversations drifted between seats, music leaked from someone's earphones, the city slowly gave way to open road.
Jun fell asleep somewhere in the first hour.
As they hit a stretch of bumpy road his body swayed gently with the movement of the van and his head tipped sideways and landed on Duan's shoulder.
Duan stopped breathing.
He sat completely rigid, eyes forward, afraid that even blinking too hard might disturb the situation. He didn't move. Didn't shift. Barely inhaled.
Jun's vanilla cologne drifted up quietly and settled around him.
Duan stared straight ahead at the back of the seat in front of him and smiled like an idiot for the rest of the drive.
---
They reached the resort as the afternoon was cooling into early evening. Duan gently touched Jun's arm to wake him and Jun stirred slowly, blinking and still half asleep.
Duan had already grabbed his suitcase by the time Jun was fully upright.
"I've got it," he said when Jun reached for it. "You're still half asleep."
Jun looked at him. Decided it wasn't worth the argument. Let him take it.
They checked in at the reception and Jet collected all the room keys, then herded everyone back outside and stood in front of them holding the keys up with the energy of someone about to announce something.
"Okay. Rooms." He looked around at all of them. "We couldn't figure out a fair way to sort it so."
Rock paper scissors.
Dom and Jet. First round. Done. Room one.
Duan and Fah. Second round. Room two.
Chawin versus Jun. Chawin won. Jun lost.
Jun and Chawin. Room three.
Duan stood there with the specific expression of someone processing a minor but significant loss. He had not been subtle about it.
Jun noticed. He exhaled slowly through his nose and said nothing.
Chawin appeared beside Jun, collected his suitcase cheerfully and wheeled it off toward their room. Jun followed without a word.
Jet patted Duan's shoulder once and headed off.
Fah grabbed Duan by the arm and steered him in the direction of their room before he could stand there looking tragic for any longer.
---
They dropped their bags and Fah immediately decided the beach was non negotiable.
The sand was still warm from the day and the water glittered in the late afternoon light. They kicked off their shoes at the edge and Duan let the beach do what beaches do — clear out whatever was sitting in his chest.
He chased Fah down the shoreline for no reason. Fah ran because Duan was chasing him. They covered a completely pointless amount of ground, laughing and out of breath, Duan's arms windmilling as he sprinted through the shallow water and immediately regretted it when his shorts got soaked.
He was just being Duan. It was the only way he knew how to be.
---
Up on the balcony of room three, Jun stood with his arms resting on the railing and looked out at the water.
Chawin appeared beside him with a cold drink and followed his gaze.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
Chawin looked at the beach. Then back at Jun. Then at the beach again where Duan was currently trying to drag Fah into the water by his ankle.
"Ah." Chawin smiled into his drink. "Your admirer."
"I'm looking at the ocean."
"The ocean that happens to contain your admirer."
Jun said nothing.
"He's not that bad you know," Chawin said after a moment. "He's a good guy. Cute too."
Jun didn't respond.
"Do you not like him?"
Jun thought about it for a moment. Actually thought about it.
"There's nothing particularly wrong with him," he said finally. "He's annoying. But that's not — " he paused. "People are always dedicated when they're pursuing someone. It doesn't mean anything."
Chawin nodded slowly. "So you're waiting for him to give up."
Jun didn't confirm or deny that.
"Jun." Chawin turned to lean his back against the railing. "Not everything ends badly. Stop assuming it will before it even starts."
Jun looked at the beach.
Down on the sand Duan had apparently given up on dragging Fah into the water and was now just standing at the shoreline letting the waves run over his feet, face tipped up slightly, completely unbothered by the world.
Jun looked at him for a moment longer than he meant to.
"Just follow what you actually feel," Chawin said quietly. "Nobody else can decide that for you."
Jun chuckled softly.
"What?" Chawin smiled.
"You've been spending too much time with Jet."
Chawin laughed.
Then Jet's voice came booming from somewhere down the corridor demanding to know if they were coming to dinner or not and the moment dissolved cleanly into the evening.