SF Chapter 181: Too Much Information
Gloria completely changed the subject. "Can I use your computer, Claire? I just need to check one email."
Claire, who was still shaken by everything that had happened, didn't think much of it and gestured with her hand. "Yeah, it's in the kitchen."
But before she could go, Jay appeared from the kitchen. "Gloria, I just switched us to the next flight."
"Did you guys get everything straightened out?" he asked.
Gloria made a face at him, trying to communicate something. "Claire is very upset because the kids just walked in on them having sex."
"Oh, geez," Jay winced.
Claire wanted to bury her face in a hole. "Now that we're all up to speed..." she muttered irritably.
But Gloria continued, trying to hide her happy expression. "She's so upset that she hasn't even had time to put on her makeup or use her computer."
After she finished talking, she quickly walked toward the kitchen.
"What are you even doing here, Dad?" Claire asked.
Jay just admonished her. "I don't think you should be the one asking the questions here, missy."
"Don't get mad at her. Your wife's the one who just offered up her cupcakes," Phil tried to defend his wife.
"Phil," Claire snapped at him. Then she changed her target. "And you, Dani, what are you doing here on Valentine's Day?" she accused.
Claire didn't think it was strange for her brother to be at her house, but it was strange considering the date.
"I was here to help," Dani replied. "Haley, Alex, and Luke realized they didn't do anything for your wedding anniversary, so they decided to surprise you today!"
"Oh," he said, remembering something. "And I bought presents for you guys. From the four of us."
"Whoa, that's sweet," Phil exclaimed, looking delighted.
"Aww." Claire finally had a moment to breathe. But then she remembered something. "Where are they?"
"Don't worry, Sis," Dani dismissed her concern. "I told them to go for a walk with one of my security guards."
"So they can have some time to process that slightly awkward moment."
"Thanks, Dani," Claire said genuinely. "Did they say anything?"
He started listing. "Well, Alex was trying to wash the memory away quite literally, Haley was practically wearing a hole in the floor from pacing back and forth, and Luke was a little clueless... so they didn't say much."
"Ah, but Luke did say, and I quote, 'Whatever it was, it looked like Dad was winning.'"
"Since Phil was behind-" He couldn't finish. His sister was squeezing his shoulder hard.
"Ouch, ouch, Sis! I'm telling you exactly what happened! And you asked! How is this my fault?"
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After Claire had taken out some of her frustration on her 'poor' brother, Phil went to the kitchen while Jay gave her a lecture.
"What is more important than putting a working lock on a bedroom door?"
Claire retorted, "You are one to talk."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Jay made a clueless face.
"You don't remember when I walked in on you and Mom that time?"
Jay yelled, "Gloria, could we please go now?"
"Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So why don't you just get off your high horse, Dad? At least I am trying to handle this better than the two of you did."
"Yeah, she's right, Dad!" Dani sided with his sister.
"I don't want to hear that from you, Daniel," Jay scoffed.
"What?" Dani exclaimed. "We're even! We've both walked in on each other twice! And one time, I even saved Manny from being traumatized!"
"What? When?" Jay exclaimed.
Dani told them what had happened.
(Flashback)
"Hey, Dani, we came back way earlier than we said we would," Manny pointed out, looking at the time.
"Yeah," Dani nodded, "but you were the one who didn't want to stay any longer..."
Manny said nothing more and headed toward his mother's bedroom. "Mom-"
Dani quickly called out to him. "Don't forget to knock on the door."
He even added, "Do it three times. Seems effective. A genius told me so."
Manny looked at him strangely, but did it. A moment later, he came back. "They're not in there, but I saw Jay's car through the window."
Dani, who was also near a window, took a look.
He quickly turned his head away and walked toward Manny. "They're probably talking about something. Let's go see that turtle you told me about."
Manny immediately got excited and led him to his room.
(Flashback ends)
"You know, Dad," Dani told him. "Depending on how you park, you can see through the front window of the car from the upstairs window."
"I probably would've had to explain to Manny why his mother was looking for something on the floor of the driver's side. Very enthusiastically. Over and over again..."
Claire groaned loudly. "Images! For God's sake, why did you have to tell me that, Daniel?!" she complained.
"Oh, Jesus Christ!" Jay muttered.
"Hey, I also saved Haley once," Dani said, launching into another story.
(Flashback to when Dani was nine years old)
Jay had brought Dani and Haley back to her house earlier than expected. Alex and Luke had stayed behind with their grandmother.
After saying goodbye to Jay, Dani opened the front door, and the two of them headed upstairs.
Haley was about to open her parents' bedroom door when Dani grabbed the back of her collar and pulled her away.
"Don't forget to knock on the door, Hay-Hay," he scolded her.
"Oh," she exclaimed.
They were about to do just that when they started hearing a noise from inside.
Dani's eyes widened, but then he immediately acted normal. "Let's play a game, Hay-Hay."
"Why?" She tilted her head.
"Phil is carving a nice statue for you," he lied, explaining the source of the noise before pulling his niece toward her room.
(Flashback ends)
"See, Sis?" Dani looked at her. "I even had to find a wooden angel afterward to keep the lie going!"
"And I explained to Haley, 'See all these little details? That's why there was so much knocking.'"
"Oh, dear Lord!" Claire had both hands over her face.
"Yeah," Dani remarked. "In our family, we really need to stop coming home earlier than we said we would."
But he continued with the stories. "And the two times Dad walked in on me, I actually got punished one of those times."
"He startled the girl, and I got bitten down there, you know."
Claire groaned for what felt like the hundredth time.
"And the second time, he almost made me lose my awesome birthday present! But I can't reveal the two girls' names. That's Dad's and my secret!"
"THERE WERE TWO?!" she yelled at the new information.
"Oh, we were in the bathtub; Dad didn't see much," he said dismissively.
"I can't say the same about my mom, though, regarding the other time," he murmured.
[Dani and the girls' commentary]
Daniel was sitting between Mischa and Lexi. Lexi was holding a phone, with Prudence on the other end of the line.
"So, I didn't tell Sis those last two stories about how my dad and my mom caught me with the same two girls on separate occasions," Dani revealed.
He went on to explain his reasoning. "After all, there's this thing called TMI: Too Much Information."
Lexi, as always, stared flatly at him. "Prudence, can you help us understand his thought process?" she asked, turning for help to the other shameless person she knew.
Prudence took a moment to respond, since the call was long-distance from Switzerland.
"Oh, I would've done the same! When you tell that many great stories, if you just keep adding more, people start getting numb to them."
"So I'd save them for a better time!"
"Wow, we have two professional menaces..." Mischa muttered. Then she asked curiously, "Who are they, Dani?"
"Can't say. Not even to you girls. I don't reveal names without permission," he stated. "And you might meet them in the future..."
Little did he know that his last remark would come true much sooner than expected, in just a few days.
[Commentary ends]
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