SF Chapter 180: Valentine's Day II
Dani had arrived at his sister's house. He opened the door and shouted, "Hello there! I'm home!"
But not a single soul appeared to greet him.
If he had the power of super-hearing, he would've heard his sister muttering from her bedroom, "Great! Can this day get any better?!" in a completely sarcastic tone.
Dani would've been very upset, since this time he had absolutely nothing to do with what had happened.
But since Dani wasn't Superman - even if he would argue that his sexual stamina was close to the Kryptonian guy's - he went to see where everyone was.
When he got to the kitchen, he saw Alex still vigorously washing her face, Haley pacing back and forth, and Luke making a face like he had no idea what was going on.
He decided to approach Alex first.
"Hey, I know Alex might've told you that washing your eyes over and over can make it so you don't need glasses anymore... but that's a lie!"
His niece stopped and stared at him.
"Oh, wait, you're Alex! What the hell are you doing?" he joked.
"I can still see it!" Alex complained again.
Luke finally asked, "What were they doing?"
"Nothing," Haley replied quickly.
But Luke continued, "Whatever it was, it looked like Dad was winning."
"So Phil was on top?" Dani raised an eyebrow.
"Not really," Luke shook his head. "He was right behind Mom-"
His two nieces groaned loudly.
Haley interrupted her brother and yelled, "It! They were doing it!" She stared at her uncle.
"Yes, I understood, Hay-Hay." Dani shrugged. "I already had my suspicions when I saw Alex trying to blind herself and you pacing around like you wanted to go back in time..."
Seeing that his two nieces were still glaring at him, he waved it off dismissively. "Oh, come on, it's not that big of a deal."
"But I just hope the next one's a boy again. You two can be a piece of work sometimes."
Haley said angrily, "Seriously?! That's what you have to say right now?"
"Hay-Hay, your boyfriend traumatized Phil to the point where I could almost see his soul wandering around the superyacht..."
"At most, now you're even," he replied.
"And I've taught all of you since you were little the importance of knocking on the door!"
Then Dani looked more seriously at them. "Now, what I suggest you three do is go out with one of my security guys for a while, get some ice cream, walk around..."
"...and somehow comfort yourselves with how great it is to have parents who love each other."
But obviously, he ruined it again with another sassy comment. "Because the best part is still to come!"
Dani waited until they were all paying full attention to him.
"Obviously, they're going to talk about what happened!"
"That's going to be really awesome-" he paused. "I mean, awkward!" He corrected himself, looking at them with mock sympathy.
The girls groaned in despair again, while Luke followed his sisters.
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As they were leaving the house, two people were walking in.
Dani, who appeared right after them, said in surprise, "Dad? Mommy Gloria?"
Gloria and Jay exchanged a few words with the three Dunphys before they left.
"Weren't you going to Vegas?" Dani asked.
"Well... something happened..." Jay made a face, already heading toward the kitchen to make a phone call.
[Jay and Gloria commentary]
"We were supposed to be traveling to Vegas, since Manny was going to stay with his dad this week," Jay revealed.
Gloria interrupted her husband, "But Jay wrote an email to Claire in my name."
She read the email on her computer with an angry expression. "'I can't work on the bake sale this week... because you're a bossy control freak that looks down on my cupcakes, even though your lemon squares were very dry.'"
He spread his arms defensively. "It was a joke. And that was exactly what you said. And you accidentally pressed the send button-"
But her glare made him stop.
"So that's why we went to their house," Gloria said, "to clear up what happened!"
[Commentary ends]
A short while later, Claire and Phil came downstairs.
"Gloria? What are you doing here?" Claire asked, seeing her talking to her brother. "Wait. Where are the kids?" She looked around.
"They just left." Gloria walked over to her. "They told me that you were very upset."
"Oh, my God."
"And you have every right to be, Claire. It was bad."
"I know that." The blonde put a hand over her face.
"Claire, it was an accident."
"That doesn't make it any better."
Gloria continued, "Okay, you're right. I know how you feel."
"Oh, God," Claire muttered again.
"It happened to me before with another woman," the Latina confessed. "And that time, I was the one getting it. And it hurt."
"Holy Christ!" Phil shivered.
"But you have to admit that you're only happy when you're the one cracking the whip," Gloria said, almost admonishing Claire.
"What?" Claire widened her eyes.
"Come on. We all know how you ride Phil, but maybe if you just let go a little... maybe even taste my cupcakes-"
Daniel interrupted her, "Hold on a second, Mommy Gloria."
"As much as I love this kind of misunderstanding..." He looked at his stepmother. "You do know that my nieces and nephew walked in on Phil and Sis, right?"
"Doing it," he made sure to be clear, using his hands, with one finger moving toward his other hand, which he had formed into a circle.
But a second later, he winced. "Ouch, Sis, you're gonna break my hand."
Claire had grabbed his hand and was practically twisting it.
"And that's what they were talking about," Dani finished.
Gloria looked surprised, but quickly nodded. "Jess (yes). That's what I'm talking about," she blatantly lied.
Then she completely changed the subject. "Can I use your computer, Claire? I just need to check one email."
Claire, who was still shaken by everything that had happened, didn't think much of it and gestured with her hand. "Yeah, it's in the kitchen."
[Daniel commentary]
"This is something that happens from time to time in my family," Dani said about the conversation that had just taken place.
"Somehow, we talk about two completely different things, but neither of us knows exactly what the other person is talking about, creating this wonderful misunderstanding!" He beamed.
"But unfortunately, today is Valentine's Day, and Mischa and Lexi are waiting for me at the mall, so I had to clear everything up." Dani made a regretful face.
"Otherwise, I would've let the misunderstanding go on a little longer, since it was becoming incredibly funny!"
[Commentary ends]
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