Now all done. Finally, I can take a break,
"Sam, there's an order of two colas and white sauce pasta at table 5."
And so I thought of taking a break.
"Coming, right away."
I took out their meals, but then another thing showed up.
"Make the cold coffee for table 8."
I don't know why the work never ends. Is it only me, or do people really come too much at night?
Not again, once more someone's baby spilled their drinks all over the place.
"Sam."
"I know, I know."
Cleaning it is my life, not only this, but all of these. Working in a café is so tiring. On all of it, these college students come in a crowd. They are having the fun of their time. Meanwhile, people like me are now in our earning ages. Thinking about our future life, earning money is more important than hangouts. I wish I could be a college student again.
Remembering the college times wasn't really great. There were a few people whom I loved and many people whom I hated being with. But the moments I shared with everyone were a great experience in my life.
"Sam, stop daydreaming. Get a cola and a sandwich on Table 7, and also clean Table 2."
"Yes, I am coming."
"At least let me have my moment for once."
Sometimes it feels like they drop every ounce of their work on me. Pay is also not very good. Sometimes I feel like quitting this job. Not only this job, but my whole life, and start a new one. My love, Julia, and our beautiful sea-facing house.
"Hey, Sam, can you please be at the cash counter. We are low on staff, and they are all bursting my brain. Please."
"Okay, I will look into it."
The work that I can do the best. Handing out cash and taking care of bills is the easiest task to do. I guess, it is also because I am just better at maths than anyone else here.
"Here's your 250. Next."
"Your total is 159. Next."
"Thank you. Please come again. Next, Next, Next, Next."
Huh, I am tired now. I want to rest, it feels like the night is not even ending. I checked the time and felt relieved. It is 23:10, I just need to make it up for 20 more minutes, and then I can get a bit of a rest. Working in a café that is open 24x7 and doesn't give any Sunday off is really hectic.
"Next, please. Yes, sir, what is your or--------?"
The person I didn't want to see is standing right in front of me. Dylan is here. Wearing a black jacket, looking downwards, eyes on the phone. He still hadn't seen me, so I still got the chance.
"Excuse me, can I get a—."
That's weird, I remember someone calling my name. Where has she gone now? I shouldn't be wasting time.
"Hello, ma'am, is someone there?"
"Yes, sir, what happened?"
"I would like to order, but there is none at the counter."
"That's weird, she was just here but--."
She looked at me with big eyes as she saw me hiding under the counter. I tried to tell her not to make me reveal myself. I joined my hands and whispered to her not to say anything. I am totally scared right now. Sweating too much, trying to control my breathing. I waved at her again. Amy then looked towards Dylan with a smile and apologized to him.
"Sorry, sir, for your delay. We are low on staff at this hour. I hope you understand. I will take your order in a moment. Please, wait."
"No need to apologize, I understand that."
I felt relieved after he was gone. It was so stressful.
At 2 a.m., we finally have the time when we can take a break from work. It's usually this time when we don't have customers. The night shifts actually drain out all my physical and mental energy. It is much harder than training on mountains for years. But my life is like this.
Now, the second worst thing that I didn't want to happen became my reality once more.
"Ms. Samayra, you again did this. Why did you leave the cash counter when you were needed there?"
"I am sorry, sir. I promise you this won't happen again. Give me one more chance. Please."
I bowed my head down, begging him not to fire me. I didn't like our manager very much. Those big eyes, white moustache. Bald from above, and only has hair on the sides. The way his neck is always leaning more than his body. Whenever he speaks, a wave of water bullets comes out of his mouth, washing our faces to the fullest. He never even apologizes for it, it feels like he does it on purpose. And on top of all of that, the attitude he shows us is like he is a king and we are his jesters dancing around his fingers.
But right now, it doesn't matter because he is shouting at me for the correct reasons. Apology is the only thing I can ask from him.
"I am promising you, this won't happen again. Please accept my apology."
"Okay, I understand. Don't apologize in this way. It is even embarrassing for me. Go and clean the rest, and before going home, take your extra pay for tomorrow's extra hour."
I don't like him, but he also has a soft side.
"Noooooonnnnaaaaa..."
When I turned around, I saw Amy running towards me. She hugs me and starts crying.
"Hey, what happened?"
"I am so glad that you are still here. What did our manager say to you? Is he firing you? Is he gonna cut your salary? Is he gonna give you extra work? Is he------"
"Relax, relax, nothing's going to happen. I apologized to him, and everything is completely fine now."
"Phew, you know how much I was scared. I would never be able to see your face."
I just glared and smiled at his soft heart. She is such a pure person. A little bit clumsy, but still always supports the righteous.
"By the way, Noona, for how long are you going to hide from him. Why are you even scared of him finding out about our job?"
"I am not scared of him finding out. I just don't want to end my friendship with him. We know each other through how we live. At this age, people judge others based on their professions. Even if my generosity matches his, there will still be something that can make things awkward. I don't want my work to become a wall between our friendship."
"I don't understand what you are saying?"
"You will, when you come to the age. You are young, only 22."
"But you know he comes to our café often these days. What will happen if your shift changes?"
As she says, it reminded me of the times I tried to hide from him. First, I wore a mask and tried to change my voice; second, I lay on the floor, covered with a smoothie, and didn't sit up. NO matter how many times he called me. Third was the time I smashed a child's birthday cake on my face. Fourth, when I ran into the kitchen. Fifth, when I hit a steel plate on my face. Sixth, the cash counter hiding. Seventh, running into a disabled people's washroom. Eighth, standing Amy in my place. Ninth, I ran from mid-work. This is the tenth time already.
I sighed.
"Don't worry, I will take more care from now on."
She smiled with her teeth wide open.
"And stop calling me Noona. Aren't you watching too many K-dramas lately? Let's go, we have to mop the floor."
"But don't you think it sounds cute. Noona, Noona, you are my Noona."
I laughed a little bit.
"At least, learn full Korean."
We both walked into the café. It was a very long night, or I shall call it a day.
Usually, my shifts get over at 6 in the morning, so until then, I need to control my sleep.
"Ggggrrrrrrr."
Or I should be saying my hunger. Working at night always makes me hungrier than usually in the day. I don't understand why it happens. I am alright even without eating breakfast or lunch, but I can't control this night hunger.
Now I remember it, it is already time for him to come.
"Hello."
"Hello, Sir, can I take your order?"
"Yeah, one latte and a brownie. It's a takeaway."
"Right away, sir."
"Wait, ma'am, please, can she serve it?"
Amy came into the kitchen. I was mopping the floor when she told me about him.
"Go, Noona, your favorite customer is back."
I don't know why he always wants me to make up her latte. The drink will taste the same. No matter if I make it or somebody else. I walked out and started preparing his order. While he just glared at me, or somewhere else, I don't know, I can't tell. He always comes in a black hood, mask covering his whole face, and black goggles. Does he think he is in some kind of 60s detective film?
"Here you go, sir."
He picked out a tissue from his pocket and took the latte in his hand. He grabbed the bag with the brownie and went away.
Does he have an OCD for sanitation, or is it something like a personal thing? This way just makes me angry, like, if you don't want to touch it, then why specially call me?
"Noona, is that man gone?"
"Yes, he is."
Amy walked towards me with a scared face.
"You know, I think that man is a psychopath."
"What? Why do you say that?"
"Just look at him. The way he dresses, only tells you to make his order, and always coming at 3:35 a.m. Don't you think it's suspicious?"
I glare at her lips while I was deep thinking of what Amy just said. It is true that I had felt sometimes that the man was weird, but how can I say something about someone whom I didn't even know? That was the time, my whole vision went blank, and I could only see Amy's lips when she said,
"You know, he might be a stalker."
This word just echoed in me.
"Stalker, Stalker, Stalker, Stalk, Stalk."
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I am fine."
I opened my eyes, and I can see Dylan in front of me. I looked at him with a shock. He smiled at me and asked.
"What? It seems like you saw a ghost. We have to shop for groceries."
I was in confusion, but then everything snapped in me. I remember now, Dylan and I were out to buy groceries. And this word is just ringing in my mind, but why?
"Where are you again? I told you to find the green onion stalks."
"Oh yeah, onion stalks."
Now I remember why it was ringing in me.
"Now run before each one of them is sold out."
"Yeah, yeah, I will find it."
She has been acting all day strangely. It might be because of work stress. Even her eyes are telling me that she is so tired. Those big dark bumps under her lower eyelids. The dropped shoulders and that constant huffing before taking every step. Even if I am never in her shoes, I can still feel the burden she is having. But if her partner even earns what could be the reason for her to earn money. Maybe it's because of her self-esteem. She never told me where she works. Whenever I asked her. She always says it's a night shift job in an office. I always see hesitation when she says it. The hesitation of lying. I somehow understand what her job could be, but jumping to conclusions without even knowing the whole story isn't a humble way.
"Well, can't make her stress lower. I shall focus on my basket."
After around 1 hour and 45 minutes of roaming, she came up to me. I was waiting at the counter of the supermarket. Making a sad face, it was clearly saying she is feeling disappointment.
"Sorry, Dylan I didn't find the stalks you asked me to."
I patted her head and smiled.
"Don't worry. Here I got them."
She smiled. I turned my question to her.
"Did you get all the stuff you wanted for your home?"
"Yes, I got the--."
I looked into her cart. There is a soap bar, a perfume bottle, soybean oil, and a handful of jelly bears.
"Where are the vegetables, Sam?"
I asked nicely.
"But I, I don't, But. I didn't buy anything."
"Don't feel bad because I bought everything."
I took out all the vegetables and placed them on the counter. I knew this was gonna happen as I saw her earlier having her head beside the wall and sleeping while her mouth was open. I was shocked, someone can really do that. I bought it on her behalf so that she wouldn't need to waste any time.
"How did you know I didn't buy anything?"
"Just a premonition."
"But how did you know what I needed to buy?"
"You forgot, you shared your list with me when we came here. It's already 5:00 p.m. We have been in the market for nearly 3 hours."
She lowered her head. I thought of how to get her mood refreshed, and that's when I knew what she would love to have right now.
"Let's go and have some lunch. I will pay for both of us."
"Hmmm, Okay."
Just okay. She isn't looking quite happy after hearing about food. The more I got to know her in these past 4 months. There is one thing I am certain of, and that is she never says no to food. And she is always happy while eating.
"We do the billing, and then we move to a food joint."
"…."
She didn't answer me. At this point, it is a bit of a challenge to find out what she wants.
We both did our billings and moved towards McDonald's. During the weekdays and especially on Wednesdays, places like these give us vacant seats, or else there is a full rush. Families, parents, kids, it is all too much like a life-consuming. What I like about going to a mall is that I get everything in one place. No need to figure out where we should go.
We grabbed vacant seats outside the McDonald's booth, and I asked her
"What do you want?"
"Anything will be fine. Just make it a real quiiiwwwww—."
"Then, I am gonna order the Mc meal. Is it okay with you?"
"Yes."
I stood up and gave my order to the employee working there. Suddenly, a hand came on my waist. I got totally goosebumped. I turned and saw a man in a blue shirt with a red tie. I was so surprised to see him.
"Nathan, what are you doing here?"
"Well, I can ask the same question."
"I came up to buy the groceries. But what made you come here?"
"One of our senior colleagues is coming to his age. So we are all celebrating his retirement party today."
"So you are going to be late today."
"Probably."
"Where is the party going on?"
"We are all on the third floor in the cruise bar. I wish I could take you with me, but you know."
"Yes, I understand. Go on and enjoy the party."
"Sorry for leaving all the household work on you, Dylan."
"You don't need to be sorry. I actually came here with a friend of mine."
"Really, who is it?"
"Well, she---."
As I was about to speak about Samayra. Nathan's colleagues walked up to us. Being hesitant toward them. I didn't try to speak.
"What are you doing here? Everyone's waiting for us."
"Yes, let's go. Bye, Dylan, I will catch you later."
I waved my hand. This was the first time I met his office friends, and it was a bit of a heart-shaker for me. The idea of us getting found out still haunts me.
"Sir, here's your order."
"Thanks."
I took our order to the table, and what I saw I could only sigh and say nothing. She is sleeping._____ Leaning her head over her one arm. Trying to mutter something, but I can't really understand. I tried to wake her up by shaking her head gently. She was still not moving a bit after a bit.
"Sam."
"…"
"SAM."
She isn't answering. I again shook her, but this time the story is different. She grabbed my left arm with both her hands and laid her head. Her breathing is very shallow, and I can feel the warm air coming out of her mouth. Eyes not moving a bit. She was in such a deep sleep that I didn't want to ruin it. I let her rest on me.
"Huh, now what to do? The burger is getting cold. I shall eat it."
I ate my burger while being as silent as I could be. After around 30 minutes or so, she woke up.
"What time is it?"
I drank my Sprite and said.
"You shall eat first. Now I understand what it was."
She looked at me with sleepy eyes and a questioning face.
"What. What was it?"
"The tiredness that you were having until now. Eat, you must be hungry too."
She ate her burger while still being very sleepy. Eating in a very slow manner. Opening her mouth to its fullest. I didn't want to do this, but I guess it's time for us to go, so I dropped the bomb.
"You know, it's already 6:15 p.m."
Her eyes widened, and all the sleep that she had until now was gone.
"What, why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
"I wanted to, but you were still sleepy. But now you were wasting too much time, so I thought."
And yeah, now she is anxious, overthinking too much, all the things are written over her face as I see her eating a burger in a hurry. She loaded the burger into her mouth and drank the cold drink to swallow it faster. Well, I guess if I didn't need to burst this Hiroshima.
"Relax, Sam, we can still make everything on time."
"Do bhou unstenranden dh situtghs."
"It's okay, you can eat first."
"I am saying we need to do it fast. I need to go home, make dinner, then go to my job. Do you even understand how much pressure I am under? I need to do everything fast or else nothing will be on time."
I grabbed her face with both of my hands and cuddled her.
"Hewwww, wwwhhaaat auurr youuuu doooinn."
"Now, be silent. Listen, no matter how much you are in a hurry, never forget that if something keeps on damaging your health. You should not compromise with it. You should let yourself calm down and try to think. Whatever I am doing in my life, is it really more important than my health?"
She glared at me, looking relaxed. I can accomplish my mission. My mission to reassure her. Nothing should be more important in your life than being a light-minded and happy person. Just leave each one of those things that are ruining you.
"So, as you relax now, we shall get everything ready and focus on taking a cab."
"Wait, I shall book one. As you gave the treat. I will book the cab."
My eyes went to her shoulder, there was a bread piece over there. I leaned towards her and tried to sweep it off. But as I took it off my anchor-shaped locket got scrumbled into her pendant.
As he leaned toward me. I was confused. What was he trying to do, but for some reason, I didn't stop him. As he said here you go, I realized he was sweeping some dirt from my shoulder. But as he tried to sit back, my pendant. A blood-red heart-shaped pendant in which a sword is attached from one side got tangled in his locket.
He tried to take it out, but it was tangled so badly. His eyes were so close to mine. I can hear his breath. For some reason, it was relaxing. I stood there and let him detach both the lockets. As he was doing it, my eyes couldn't stop gazing at his lips. There was a feeling in me that I didn't want to stop. But then he was finally able to take the lockets out.
"Yeah, here you go."
I still didn't take my eyes off of him.
"What, is there something on my face?"
He wiped his face, and I got snapped out. I don't know what came into me, but that was really something I didn't want to stop going from me.
I didn't answer his question, and he looked at me with a confused face. We took our polybag bags of groceries and walked out of the mall. It really is a hectic day.
I was cutting the vegetables one by one, but suddenly it clicked in my mind. I quenched the gas knob and stood still, waiting, thinking deeply about what had happened today. It all somehow felt wrong, no matter what happened, but it isn't good that I am still hiding the fact from Nathan that I had sex with Samayra. He didn't meet her today, but still, it was wrong of me to keep this thought hidden from him. I told myself for the past 4 months that maybe if I don't talk about it. The things get back to what they were, and I would be able to live my life in peace. But no, the guilt is consuming me from inside. I can't do it again. I am not only betraying my love, but also Samayra's life is being affected by this. I can feel it. I know she will not tell me this, but I am sure she also doesn't want this to be hidden.
"I shall call her."
I grabbed my phone and was about to punch her number, but it hit me.
"No, I need to talk to her in person. I can't share something like this over a phone call."
She is now also an important person in my life, but we need to discuss the burden we carried.
I looked at the clock. It's already 22:24. It was even time for my job. I shall get everything ready.
"Looks like tonight I will order something. Nathan's also gonna come home late. I wonder what she's doing? Is she also thinking like me right now?"
"Thank you for your order, sir. Here's your change. Come again."
As I attended to one more customer, Amy came up to me with a sad pouty face.
"Noona, can we talk?"
We both goes backside of the café, and then she told me her whole story about her and her boyfriend.
"So you are telling me that he cheated on you with someone a week ago. And you both were on a break at that time."
"Yes."
"Then, how are you considering it cheating. You are the one who told him to take a break from the relationship."
"I know, but that is not the problem."
"Then, what is it?"
"He told me about it today because he felt so guilty about it. Even though I wanted a break because I was tired of him being a total jerk in ourrelationship."
He never understands me, he never even saves a seat for me or holds my hand deliberately. When he came up to me, I realized how good a guy he is. I wanted to end it, but now, as he confessed his guilt to me, it feels like I am the wrong person in the relationship."
"You can't understand if giving him a second chance would be a correct decision or not?"
She starts crying, wiping her tears again and again, but still couldn't stop them.
"See, cheating isn't something people always do on purpose. They look up to themselves, feel betrayed not because they lost their loved one but because they lost the promise of trust they made with themselves."
Accepting his apology and giving him a second chance is your own choice. It's not my place to say. Just answer these questions,
"First, do you really love him this much that you can give him a second chance?"
"Yes."
Wow, without any hesitation.
"Second, is he really this nice to deserve you?"
"….."
"You hesitated, he is still imperfect in your eyes. But you still love him. In my opinion, if he really told you about everything he had done when you were on a break. Then I am sure he loves you more than anyone."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Noooooonnnnnaaaaaa."
She hugged me tightly. Her crying didn't stop. She rubbed her face and nose all over my chest, and now I need to wash it.
"Okay, okay, we still have our jobs to do. Let's go inside."
"Mhm."
"And please stop watching those series that make you question like this."
She again made that pouty face in front of me. Now I am used to it.
But then, on the other hand, if I realize I had done the same thing with Julia. Hiding things from her. Roaming out with Dylan and what happened 4 months ago. The guilt is actually too heavy that sometimes I feel like my heart will be stoned. I wanted to talk about it. Yes, I need to confront Dylan. We both need to discuss this. I can't just live with this thinking that everything will fade away if I do not look at it. I need to confront my past once again, but it still scares me.
Will things be good, or will everything go down as it has before?