After a million years of climbing, we finally reached the third floor. My legs grow tired. I can feel my lungs melting. But for the sake of putting up with Sohee (who is completely fine, by the way) and the expectation of her Sunbae, I keep my act cool.
"Are you okay, Sunbae? You look pale."
All of that cool acting stands no chance against my human biology. "Ehem, well, we did just take a million years to climb those stairs."
"Million years?" She chuckles.
It isn't really a joke. But I do understand why she takes it as such. It might have only been 4 or so minutes for her. I didn't count, the concept of time is more like a joke to me now anyway.
We proceed down the corridor… passing each silent door.
21.
23.
26.
Boring.
I look at the girl in front of me, biting her lips, eyes in front, focused.
She must be thinking about it. That this could be a mistake we're walking right into. But unlike the guy next to her, she doesn't know time travel is possible. She can't go back after it is done.
Sohee's only doing this to help people she cares about. People like me. So the least I can do to repay that, is to distract her mind a little.
"You like coffee, Sohee?" I ask, matching my pace with hers.
"Sunbae?"
Maybe her thought was louder. I decide to repeat myself, "You like coffee?"
"Coffee?" Sohee touches her chin, looking up. "I guess so."
She turns to me, "how about Sunbae?"
It's been a long time since I had one. What does it taste like again? Whatever, my opinion doesn't matter. What matters is that Sohee likes it. "Yeah."
"Really? Just never seen you drink one before. Made me think you're allergic to caffeine."
That would explain why the kitchen is absent of that stuff. Maybe this body can not consume caffeine. But I already told you that I do so I'm going to live with it.
"I drink it in secret," I answer Sohee. "It is a sacred activity; it should've been done discreetly."
"But a lot of people drink it in public."
"Then a lot of people have no idea what they're doing."
"Pft—"
That made Sohee laugh a little.
"Seriously, Sunbae. I never thought you were this… silly, ha ha. Usually you're just so…"
She trails off and shakes her head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't speak badly of my sunbaes. Especially when he's just in front of me."
A smirk, teasing like a high-schooler. Which she is, I kept forgetting about that.
"Sohee."
"Hmn?"
"You look cute today."
"Eep!"
Her cheek blushes. "A-Anyway. We're here…"
31.
The door 31.
A friend who protects people from outside: a door. A blind friend who only opens and closes. A better friend than some human being.
I'm glad this one doesn't talk.
It looks heavier than mine.
A frail girl with emerald eyes should be behind this thing.
"I texted Nelly about your visit."
Good, we don't want to give her a heart attack.
"What did she say?"
"She hasn't seen it. I can't get through to her either; it looks like her phone's out. Should we knock anyway?"
She stares, and I let her eyes rest on my smile.
A minute pass… we return to the door. Sohee might probably have thousands of worries in her head right now, but I only have one. An exciting one. Suppose this blind friend opened itself, I might probably get to see Nelly in something. It is her home anyway. And she doesn't know I'm coming. What type of clothes could she be wearing? A pajama? Maybe it's a little too late for that—a t-shirt with a bear on it. Huh, seems pretty normal. Not that exciting though. Lingerie? That's stupid, of course not. Naked. And that's where I should stop imagining.
Sohee brings her fist to the door, ignoring the bell button. Of course, she would do that. She is still holding the plastic bag that she's going to recycle later.
Maybe I should go. I don't think I should be here. Something tells me that I being here could get someone hurt.
But the lingerie. She could be wearing lingerie.
Control it and go.
Naked. She could be naked.
Go.
No.
Knock. Knock.
Nothing.
Knock. "Ne—Nelly?" called Sohee.
A few minutes later. A sound coming from the door.
Then seconds later…
"W—Who…"
The door speaks.
"It's me, Nelly."
Click. The safe of emerald swing open.
Lingerie? Pajama? Cute t-shirt? Bah! Of course, Nelly would be wearing a white, thick blanket that wraps around her whole body, covering all her skin from the air.
"So–Sohee!"
She wraps the blanket around Sohee, hugging her with joy.
"I'm glad you're here…"
"Ye—yeah. Nelly…"
"I was so lonely."
"Nelly, did you see my text?"
She shakes her head, still closing her eyes. "Mmn, I flushed my phone in the toilet last night."
"Again?"
Wow. Nelly is being all happy and cheery. Not in a million years, I expect to see this in front of my eyes this soon.
And what is this about flushing your phone in the toilet? There are a lot of things you can do with that technology, but not that.
Is she okay?
Of course not.
Nelly. I have been thinking a lot about her, too. How she treated me, how she is just so scared back in the loop, and how hard she is trying to overcome what's haunting her.
'You're a lot better than we last met,' was what Sohee said.
'Maybe she isn't just shy,' I thought back then.
Back then.
Back then…
Back then?
Memory.
Something is coming back to me.
I can hear sounds.
Voices. Screaming. Crying. Begging.
Louder now.
It's here.
Crash!
'Stop! Stop, Sunbae, what are you doing? Nelly. Nelly, are you okay? It's fine… no, stop, Nelly! Oh my god! Ca—Call the ambulance! The ambulance, someone! Sunbae, how are you calm!"
A voice… like Sohee.
And then my voice. "It's fine. Everything's going back to normal…"
"You made her do that, Sunbae. You made her!"
"I… didn't know… I'd like to try something else. I didn't know. I swear. I didn't."
These voices… reverbing inside my head.
It hurts.
This isn't about him. No, not about the old user. It's about me.
Something that I did.
Back when I was stuck in a loop,
In one of the retries.
—Don't think about it. Just don't remember. It only hurt you. Now focus not to hurt her.
I step back from the two. Quick. Before Nelly sees.
"I'm so happy you're here, Sohee."
"Nelly… I have something to tell you…"
"What is it, Sohee?"
"I…"
She turns back… at me.
Nelly follows her sight, not realizing that I am sharing the same air she has.
"I brought… Sunbae here."
The emerald eyes shrink. Just like they were at that time. All of that happiness she shown, dead.
I yanked myself further than what Sohee asked. Hope this is enough distance to save her from throwing herself into a window again this time. Why? What drove someone to do that?
Oh yeah.
Nelly has…
—'she's not okay, Sunbae! I told you this before! She is not good yet! She is still recovering from—'
Androphobia.
The fear of men.