Chapter 200: A Crazy World
The next morning...
For once, Ethan was actually up early, ready to go for a run.
The moment he stepped out of his bedroom, he found Sheldon sitting primly on the couch, eating breakfast.
"Morning," Ethan said as he stretched. "So... how did things go with Ramona last night?"
"Wonderfully!"
Sheldon looked up, his eyes shining.
"She's intelligent, thoughtful..."
He paused, unable to hide the pride in his voice.
"And she admires me in a distinctly academic way."
That wasn't what Ethan was interested in.
"So..." he asked cautiously, "besides dinner... did you two... do anything else?"
"Of course we did."
Sheldon looked at him as if the answer were obvious.
"We had an in-depth discussion about how neutrinos might become observable."
"For most of the evening I explained my theories while she listened, took notes, and offered encouragement at the appropriate moments."
He adjusted his posture with satisfaction.
"She expressed tremendous appreciation for my hypothesis regarding neutrinos passing through linear polymer structures."
"..."
Ethan opened his mouth, about to ask another question.
"Hi!"
Ramona emerged from the bathroom.
Ethan blinked.
"Uh... hi, Ramona."
"You... didn't go home last night?"
"I slept on the couch," she answered casually.
Then she turned to Sheldon, her voice immediately becoming gentle.
"Have you solved the neutrino problem yet?"
Sheldon lifted his chin proudly.
"It would be like rewriting Mozart."
"All the subatomic particles are already there."
"I simply need to arrange them correctly."
"You're brilliant."
Ramona smiled at him with unmistakable admiration.
"And funny."
Then she turned toward Ethan, her expression carrying a subtle warning.
"Dr. Cooper is on the verge of a major breakthrough."
"If you're going to stay here, please show some respect and keep quiet."
Ethan looked at Sheldon.
Then at Ramona.
"Bye."
He made a tactical retreat without another word.
As he headed downstairs, he silently reminded himself:
Never underestimate a woman's ambition.
---
For the next two nights, Ramona stayed at their apartment again.
Over those forty-eight hours, Ethan and Sheldon exchanged fewer than five sentences in total.
---
A few days later, Ethan arrived home and ran into Leonard outside the apartment building.
After some casual conversation, the topic naturally drifted toward Penny.
"So..."
Leonard asked as casually as he could,
"How have things been between you and Penny lately?"
Ethan gave him a sideways glance.
Sometimes he honestly wanted to give Leonard a serious reality check.
Sheldon—of all people—had already spent two consecutive nights with a girl sleeping on his couch, bringing him food, taking notes for him, and showering him with emotional support.
If Sheldon had possessed even the slightest romantic impulse, Ramona probably would've responded without a moment's hesitation.
Meanwhile, Leonard...
Couldn't outwrite Sheldon academically.
Didn't have Howard's confidence.
His only real advantage over Raj was that he could actually speak to women.
So why was he acting like Ethan was the competition?
Fortunately, Ethan wasn't that cruel.
He simply answered a few questions and reassured Leonard.
"Relax."
"Penny's your story."
"I'm not competing with you."
---
When they reached the fourth floor, they happened to see Penny stepping out of Apartment 4A.
Her expression was... complicated.
There was shock.
Confusion.
And what looked suspiciously like mild psychological trauma.
"Hey, Penny," Leonard greeted her.
"Hey."
She snapped back to reality before looking at both of them with complete seriousness.
"You two probably shouldn't go in there."
Ethan frowned.
"Why? What are they doing?"
Penny considered her wording carefully.
"That scene..."
"...belongs in the office of a psychologist who specializes in children with doll collections."
With a numb expression, she turned and walked back to her own apartment.
Ethan and Leonard exchanged confused looks.
"...?"
---
They opened the door.
Then both froze.
Ramona was kneeling on the floor...
Carefully giving Sheldon a foot massage.
Meanwhile, Sheldon sat comfortably on the couch, typing away on his laptop as he enjoyed the treatment.
Good grief.
The sight was almost too much to process.
Leonard and Ethan stood rooted to the spot, utterly speechless.
"Dr. Cooper is working."
Ramona calmly informed the two newcomers.
"I can see that."
Leonard was the first to recover enough to answer.
Ethan, however, simply stood there with his mouth hanging open.
Then—
Without another word, he pulled out his phone.
"I'd like to document this historic moment."
"May I?"
"Why?" Sheldon asked, genuinely puzzled.
Ramona frowned, equally confused.
Ethan answered with a perfectly straight face.
"When you eventually win the Nobel Prize, this photograph will become a testament to the support and understanding behind your greatest scientific breakthrough."
"It deserves to be preserved."
Sheldon immediately nodded.
"Reasonable."
Ramona smiled.
"It really is worth documenting."
Click. Click. Click.
Ethan worked quickly, snapping several photos in rapid succession before casually recording a short video.
"Perfect."
He nodded in satisfaction.
"This historic moment has now been permanently archived."
Future wedding slideshow material: +1.
This was absolute gold.
One of Sheldon's greatest blackmail-worthy moments.
A priceless piece of social leverage.
He could sell it to Penny.
Sell it to Howard.
Sell it to practically anyone who knew Sheldon.
Maybe even sell it to the media the day Sheldon won a Nobel Prize.
Ethan quietly reveled in the possibilities.
Leonard stared at the entire process with his jaw hanging open before finally speaking.
"Sheldon... tonight is Halo Night at Koothrappali's. Are you coming?"
Sheldon closed his laptop.
"Of course. Halo Night."
"Give me a moment. I need to wipe my feet."
Ramona looked up seriously.
"You're not actually going to Halo Night... are you?"
"Of course I am."
Sheldon sounded genuinely puzzled.
"It's Wednesday."
"Wednesday is Halo Night."
Ramona lowered her hands and calmly countered,
"Didn't a great man once say:
'For science, seek nothing else.
For science, pursue it with unwavering dedication.
For science, devote your entire life without reservation.'"
Silence filled the room.
Sheldon lowered his head.
"...Someone did say that."
Ramona asked softly,
"And who was that great man?"
"...Me."
He turned to Leonard and Ethan with complete seriousness.
"I'm sorry, Leonard. Ethan."
"I'm not going."
"You really aren't coming?" Ethan asked.
"You heard her."
"I cannot argue with myself."
"Fair enough."
Leonard sighed.
"Have fun, then."
The two quietly left the apartment.
The door closed behind them.
They exchanged a long look.
"Koothrappali's?" Ethan asked.
"Koothrappali's."
Leonard nodded.
It turned out that true excellence attracted admirers in every field.
If Sheldon possessed even the slightest appreciation for ordinary human romance, he would've evolved long ago from Dr. Cooper into Professor Cooper, Heartbreaker Extraordinaire.
---
Over the following days, Sheldon practically lost all personal freedom.
Halo Night?
"A genius like you shouldn't waste an entire evening playing video games."
Easter Egg Hunt?
"What if you got injured? Do you realize how much valuable research time the recovery would cost?"
Comic book store?
"Will comic books help you win a Nobel Prize? No? Then we're not going."
Ramona cared for Sheldon with meticulous devotion.
Breakfasts were measured down to the calorie.
His daily schedule was managed down to the minute.
She even made sure he never had to worry about taking a shower.
His research efficiency reached unprecedented heights.
His personal freedom disappeared completely.
Watching everything unfold, Ethan couldn't help sighing.
In a way...
This was exactly the life Sheldon had always dreamed of.
Someone admired him.
Someone served him.
Someone made their entire world revolve around him.
Deep down...
He was probably suffering and enjoying it at the same time.
---
Then, one night...
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Ethan!"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Ethan!"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Ethan!"
Ethan jolted awake.
Sheldon stood beside the bed, solemnly knocking on the headboard.
"I need your help."
"It's two in the morning..."
Ethan mumbled groggily.
"What do you need? Go ask Ramona."
"Shhh..."
Sheldon lowered his voice.
"Ramona is sleeping on the couch."
"I know."
Ethan rubbed his eyes.
"Honestly, I admire that girl's determination."
"That's exactly the problem."
For perhaps the first time, genuine anxiety appeared on Sheldon's face.
"I need you to rescue me from her."
That instantly woke Ethan up.
"I thought you were enjoying yourself."
"She fulfills all your needs."
"Theoretically."
Sheldon shook his head.
"In reality, my life has become a closed system."
"Every external influence has been filtered away except those that contribute toward winning a Nobel Prize."
"I seem to recall you saying that was efficient."
"So are prisons!"
Sheldon raised his voice.
"You've had many women interested in you before."
"How did you make them leave?"
"Teach me."
Ethan sighed.
"It's simple."
"Tell her you'll never put her name on any of your papers."
Sheldon blinked.
"You're joking."
"I'm not."
"Which girlfriend left you because of that?"
Sheldon looked unconvinced.
"And you've barely published any academic papers. How could you possibly give such childish advice?"
Ethan rolled his eyes.
"She's taking care of you because you're a future Nobel laureate."
"She's investing in future returns."
"The moment you tell her she'll never receive co-authorship..."
"...she'll leave without looking back."
"Absurd."
Sheldon snorted.
"She admires my mind."
"She's attracted by my brilliance."
Ethan gave up.
This was clearly beyond Sheldon's understanding.
"Suit yourself."
He pulled the blanket back over himself.
"I already gave you the best solution."
Before Sheldon could reply, a voice came from the bedroom door.
"Sheldon?"
"Why aren't you in bed?"
Ramona stood in the doorway.
Her voice remained gentle.
Her presence... was anything but.
"You need quality sleep."
"Only then can your cognitive processes operate at peak efficiency."
Sheldon immediately straightened up.
"You're right."
"Yes."
"You're absolutely right."
Ethan kept his eyes closed.
"...Good night."
---
Over the next several days, Sheldon sought help from Penny.
Then Leonard.
Neither accomplished anything.
Until one afternoon—
"I solved it!"
Sheldon burst into the living room.
"I finally solved the black hole information paradox using the Chain-Lattice Solidification Model!"
Everyone froze.
"Incredible!"
Ramona practically jumped with excitement.
"This is a historic breakthrough!"
Sheldon turned toward her with unprecedented sincerity.
"I could never have accomplished this without you."
Ramona clasped her hands together, her eyes glistening.
"I only gave you a little encouragement."
"No."
Sheldon shook his head.
"You prepared my breakfasts."
"You managed my schedule."
"You even trimmed my toenails."
He looked at her seriously.
"How can I repay you?"
Ramona took a deep breath.
"Perhaps..."
"You could name it the Cooper-Novitzki Theorem."
"My what?"
Sheldon frowned.
"Novitzki?"
The entire living room froze.
Everyone stared at Sheldon.
"I am Novitzki!"
Ramona exclaimed.
"You want me to share this honor with you?"
Sheldon asked.
"...Yes."
"Would that be possible?"
Sheldon slowly pointed toward the door.
His voice became calm...
Cold.
"Leave."
Ramona froze.
For two full seconds she couldn't move.
Her face turned pale.
Then she spun around and ran out the door.
From the hallway came Penny's voice.
"Hey—"
"I'm going to die!"
Ramona sobbed as she disappeared.
---
Some time later...
Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment.
Thanks to Ethan's relentless persuasion—and a fair amount of emotional blackmail—Sheldon finally agreed to step inside for the first time.
Even as Ethan knocked, Sheldon continued protesting.
"I still fail to understand why you classify dating as a healthy activity."
"Because you possess organs besides your brain," Ethan replied calmly.
"You have a stomach, so you eat."
"You have lungs, so you breathe."
"You also have reproductive organs—"
"I am fully aware of my anatomy."
Sheldon interrupted.
"Excellent."
Ethan nodded.
"Then you should also understand that suppressing your emotional and physiological needs indefinitely creates systemic dysfunction."
Sheldon considered this.
"So you're suggesting that, like Penny, I'm merely another ordinary human who succumbs to primitive desires?"
Ethan thought for a moment.
"Until your consciousness is successfully uploaded into a robot..."
"...yes."
Sheldon inhaled deeply.
"Human evolution truly is humiliating."
The door opened.
They stepped inside.
At first, the atmosphere was awkward.
Sheldon looked completely out of place in an apartment filled with warmth and everyday life.
Then everything changed.
Monica set a cup of tea before him.
"Your tea."
Sheldon didn't drink it immediately.
First he observed it.
The color.
The concentration.
The ratio of tea to milk.
Then he leaned closer and inhaled.
"Oolong?"
"Yes."
"Loose-leaf, not tea bags?"
"Yes."
"Steeped for exactly three minutes?"
"Yes."
"Two-percent milk?"
"Yes."
"Heated separately?"
"Yes."
"One spoonful of coarse sugar?"
"Yes."
Silence.
Slowly, Sheldon lifted the cup.
He took a sip.
Paused.
Closed his eyes.
For one perfect second...
The world seemed to stop.
Then—
"Perfect."
Opening his eyes, he looked at Monica with genuine surprise for the first time.
A faint smile appeared on Monica's lips.
"The temperature's right?"
"One hundred eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit, with an error margin of less than half a degree."
"And the sweetness?"
"Within the acceptable range."
"The texture?"
"A perfect balance."
Monica smiled.
"That's how I make tea."
"I don't believe in mistakes."
Sheldon looked at her seriously.
"You demonstrate exceptionally high precision when executing complex procedures."
"Is that a compliment?"
"Yes."
"Thank you."
He took another sip.
Noticeably more relaxed now.
"You know..."
"Most people are incapable of following instructions precisely."
"Of course."
Monica sat down across from him.
"I'm not most people."
She arched an eyebrow.
"And I'm not accommodating you."
Sheldon looked up.
"Then what are you doing?"
"I simply have a habit of doing everything as perfectly as I can."
Sheldon nodded.
"That is the correct approach to life."
The rest of the people in the living room had absolutely no idea what they had just witnessed.
But somewhere between them...
A strange resonance had quietly begun.
---
Later that day, everyone went to Central Perk.
Ethan and Phoebe made an excuse and slipped away early.
They quietly returned to Monica's apartment.
"We're really doing this?"
Phoebe whispered while carrying a chair.
Ethan dragged the couch a few inches to the left.
Then deliberately rotated the coffee table to an angle that violated every rule of geometry.
"For love."
He answered with complete seriousness.
"Okay."
Phoebe nodded.
They sprang into action.
The couch cushions were scattered randomly.
Books were shelved sideways.
The spice jars had all their labels turned backward.
Knives and forks were mixed together.
The eggs and tomatoes switched places inside the refrigerator.
Worst of all...
They rotated the dining table just enough that an ordinary person would never notice...
...but Monica absolutely would.
Phoebe even rearranged Monica's beloved coasters.
"This," Ethan whispered,
"...will hurt Monica more than murder."
Phoebe nodded solemnly.
"Definitely."
Mission accomplished.
The two fled the scene.
---
A little while later...
Monica opened the apartment door.
"...WHO TOUCHED MY APARTMENT?!"
Her voice was terrifyingly calm.
The kind of calm that only existed moments before disaster.
Sheldon stepped inside.
His eyes slowly swept across the room.
Chaos.
Pure chaos.
"This..."
"...is the apocalypse."
Monica took a deep breath.
"Everything was perfect before we went to the coffee shop."
Sheldon closed his eyes.
"Give me ten seconds."
"What for?"
"To recall the previous configuration."
He opened his eyes.
Instantly entering full analytical mode.
"The couch was originally..."
"The coffee table aligned parallel with the sofa..."
"Cushions: two on the left, three on the right..."
"The bookshelf..."
"The kitchen utensils..."
Without the slightest hesitation, Sheldon sprang into action.
The couch returned to its exact position.
The cushions.
The coffee table.
The books.
He even remembered the precise angle of every single volume.
Monica watched in astonishment.
Slowly...
Her eyes began to shine.
"The refrigerator," she whispered.
Sheldon walked into the kitchen.
Opened the fridge.
"The eggs belong on the upper-right second shelf."
"The tomatoes belong on the lower left."
The spice labels were rotated back into perfect alignment.
Knives and forks sorted.
Order returned to the kitchen at breathtaking speed.
Within minutes...
Everything looked exactly as it had before.
The two of them stood side by side, gazing at the perfectly restored apartment.
At the same time...
They both let out a long sigh of relief.
"Thank you."
Monica smiled.
"You felt the discomfort caused by the disorder too... didn't you?"
"Of course."
"Extremely."
"So did I."
Monica laughed.
Not politely.
Not awkwardly.
But with the unmistakable joy of finally finding someone who truly understood her.
"You remembered where everything was?"
"I possess eidetic memory."
Sheldon replied calmly.
"You only came here once today, and memorized everything?"
"More precisely..."
"Within seven seconds of entering."
"...That's incredible."
"Thank you."
Sunlight streamed across the restored living room.
Monica and Sheldon stood quietly in the center of the apartment.
Looking at one another.
The warmth in their eyes slowly deepened.
---
Suddenly—
The scene changed.
Rayne Clinic.
The hallway was unusually quiet.
Sheldon stood outside the delivery room, holding the hand of a little boy.
The operating room doors opened.
A nurse emerged with a smile.
"Congratulations."
"It's a girl."
Sheldon froze.
Then gently led the little boy into the room.
Monica lay in the hospital bed.
Sweaty.
Pale.
Yet her eyes sparkled with happiness.
A newborn rested in her arms.
Sheldon stood beside the bed as though staring into an entirely incomprehensible universe.
"...Why is she so small?"
"Because she was just born."
Monica rolled her eyes weakly.
"Hi, Erica."
"This is your big brother, Jack."
Sheldon turned toward Ethan, who had just delivered the baby.
"Ethan."
"I have a question."
"Sheldon."
Ethan sighed.
"I just delivered your daughter."
"Shouldn't you thank me first?"
"Oh."
"Thank you."
Sheldon nodded.
"But I still have a question."
"Go ahead."
"If I'm married to Monica now..."
"...why do I still end up with one son and one daughter?"
Ethan paused.
Then quickly found an answer.
"Because the father's genetics determine the baby's sex."
"So whether it's Amy or Monica..."
"...the outcome is the same."
"Reasonable."
Sheldon accepted it instantly.
"Then why is my daughter's name Erica?"
"Because her biological mother is Erica—"
The words slipped out before Ethan could stop them.
Silence.
Then realization struck.
He had just delivered Monica's baby.
Why had the mother suddenly become Erica?
Sheldon.
Monica.
Amy.
Erica.
Logic collapsed.
Reality twisted.
The world folded in on itself.
---
The next instant—
Ethan bolted upright in bed.
Cold sw