Chapter 199: Sheldon's Biggest Fan
Monday.
At precisely nine o'clock in the morning, the doors of the Rayne Clinic opened for business.
Sunlight streamed in from the streets of Brooklyn, filtering through the floor-to-ceiling windows and spreading a warm glow across the pristine white reception desk.
The air carried the clean scent of disinfectant, mixed with the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
Everything at the clinic was business as usual.
After seeing off his latest patient, Ethan sat at his desk, updating the medical records.
[Chief Complaint: Mild chest tightness.
Recommendation: Get plenty of rest, drink more water, and moderate...]
His pen paused.
Without thinking, he wrote two words:
...kissing.
Ethan stared at the words for a long moment before silently crossing them out.
He replaced them with:
...exercise.
Closing the file, he stood up and walked to the reception area to pour himself a cup of coffee.
---
"Doctor."
Helen's leisurely voice drifted over.
Ethan looked up.
"Yes?"
"Are you in an especially good mood today?"
"I'm in a good mood every day," Ethan replied with perfect seriousness.
"Oh?"
Leaning casually against the counter with her coffee, Helen gave him a slow, appraising look, as if she were scanning him from head to toe.
"Then why do you seem so... light today?"
Ethan fell silent.
"And," she continued, narrowing her eyes, "you were smiling while you poured your coffee."
He gave a light cough.
"The coffee just smells especially good today."
"Mhm."
Helen nodded knowingly.
"It does seem a little sweeter."
"Almost like the taste of being in love."
Ethan couldn't help protesting.
"How do you notice everything?"
"Occupational hazard."
She took another sip of coffee.
"As the receptionist, it's my job to handle appointments, process payments..."
"...and monitor my boss's hormone levels."
"I am not experiencing hormonal fluctuations."
"Of course not."
Helen shrugged.
"It's just that there's suddenly someone occupying your heart, and you haven't figured out where to put her yet."
She paused before adding with a grin,
"Don't worry. You're only in the early stages."
Silence settled between them for a couple of seconds.
Ethan turned and headed back toward his office.
"Ms. Helen, we're currently on the clock."
"Yes, Boss."
She immediately snapped to attention and gave him a playful salute.
"I'll take your secret to the grave."
Ethan noticeably quickened his pace.
---
By the time work ended, Ethan practically fled the clinic.
Even after living two lifetimes, he still couldn't hide anything from an experienced older woman like Helen.
When he returned to his apartment building, he happened to run into Penny at the entrance.
"Hey, Penny. Day off today?" he asked.
"Yep."
Penny smiled when she saw him.
"Every Monday."
She paused for a moment before asking,
"So... what's on the menu tonight?"
"According to Sheldon's meal schedule, Monday is Thai food," Ethan replied.
Penny laughed.
"He really sticks to that schedule every single day, huh?"
"Honestly, it has its advantages."
Ethan shrugged.
"At least nobody has to waste time wondering what to have for dinner."
"Fair enough."
Penny nodded with a smile.
The two of them walked into the lobby together.
A young woman was standing by the elevator with a paper bag in her arms, repeatedly pressing the Up button.
Ethan and Penny exchanged a glance.
Penny stepped forward first.
"The elevator's been broken for quite a while."
She bent down, picked up the OUT OF ORDER sign that had fallen to the floor, and rehung it.
"Oh... thanks for letting me know."
The young woman blinked in surprise.
"Looks like I'll be taking the stairs."
"Welcome to our daily cardio routine," Penny said with an easy smile.
The three of them started climbing the stairs together.
"So, what floor are you headed to?" Penny asked casually.
"4A."
Ethan looked up at her.
"Oh, are you here to see Leonard?"
"No. I'm here to see Dr. Cooper."
Both Ethan and Penny stopped climbing at the same time.
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper?" Penny repeated.
"Yes."
The young woman nodded earnestly.
"We're having dinner together tonight."
"Sheldon Cooper?"
Penny raised her voice just to be sure.
"The tall, skinny guy who looks like a praying mantis?"
The young woman paused to picture Sheldon.
"He's adorable, isn't he?"
Ethan coughed lightly.
"Hi. I'm Ethan Rayne. I live in Apartment 4A too."
"Are you one of Sheldon's students?"
"Oh."
The young woman smiled politely.
"I'm Ramona Nowitzki, a graduate student."
"I audited one of Dr. Cooper's lectures last week..."
She paused, her eyes lighting up.
"He's an absolute genius!"
"Oh..."
Ethan finally remembered who she was.
This was the graduate student who had tried to win Sheldon's favor by taking care of him in hopes of earning co-authorship on his research papers.
A classic academic freeloader.
Unfortunately for her, she'd picked the worst possible target.
Anyone else in the group might have fallen for that strategy.
Sheldon never would.
After thinking for a moment, Ethan decided to offer a subtle warning.
"Sheldon really is a genius," he said, "but the people around him are pretty impressive too. Leonard, for example."
Penny immediately shot him a look that clearly said, What are you doing?
Ramona, however, remained completely unmoved.
"I've read both Dr. Hofstadter's and Dr. Cooper's papers."
"I find Dr. Cooper's theories far more convincing."
Ethan shrugged.
Well...
Target firmly locked.
Apparently, even attaching yourself to an academic superstar required choosing the right one.
Penny caught the aroma drifting from the paper bag.
"What did you bring? It smells amazing."
"Pad Thai and satay chicken," Ramona answered seriously.
"I specifically asked them to add extra Siamese peanut sauce, just the way Dr. Cooper likes it."
Penny leaned toward Ethan and whispered,
"I'm not dreaming, am I?"
"No."
Ethan whispered back.
"Sheldon's love life has officially stopped making sense."
First Monica had wanted to ask him out.
Now Ramona had shown up.
The world had gone completely insane.
---
The three of them arrived outside Apartment 4A.
Ethan unlocked the door.
"Come on in."
The living room sofa was already occupied.
Leonard, Raj, and Howard were sitting perfectly upright, clearly having entered spectator mode long before anyone arrived.
"Where should I put the food?" Ramona asked.
"The kitchen's fine."
Ethan stepped aside to let her pass.
"Hey, Ethan."
Leonard walked over.
"Hi, Penny. What are you doing here?"
"I had to witness this in person."
Penny rubbed her hands together excitedly.
"There's no way I'm missing something like this."
"The audience seats are over there."
Leonard pointed toward the sofa.
Then he called toward Sheldon's bedroom.
"Sheldon! Your girlfriend—"
He stopped.
"Your date—"
He changed his mind again.
"Ramona's here!"
After cycling through several different labels, the bedroom door finally opened.
Sheldon stepped out.
The moment he saw Ramona unpacking the food in the kitchen, he said,
"Hello."
Ramona hurried over, her voice trembling with excitement.
"Sorry I'm late."
"I got completely absorbed reading the latest draft of your paper."
"Oh!"
Sheldon nodded with obvious satisfaction.
"Did you enjoy my footnote comparing mirror symmetry to light playing tennis with itself?"
"It was brilliant!"
Ramona's eyes practically sparkled.
"Especially the section where you proposed introducing a gravitational field..."
"I actually got goosebumps."
On the sofa, the other five people collectively froze.
They stared at the pair in the kitchen with mouths slightly open and eyes wide, desperately trying to process what they were witnessing.
Sheldon nodded again.
"Excellent."
"That was precisely the reaction I intended."
"I'm sorry..."
Ramona arranged the food neatly before looking toward everyone in the living room.
"I didn't prepare dinner for your friends."
"I thought it would just be the two of us."
"..."
Leonard exchanged a knowing glance with Ethan.
"Actually..."
"We were just about to head out," Leonard said.
Howard and Raj immediately began making frantic gestures of protest.
Ethan stood up and motioned for everyone to follow.
"Right. We're leaving."
"Oh, come on!"
Penny pleaded.
"I promise I won't make a sound!"
"Let's go."
Leonard and Ethan herded everyone toward the door.
Before leaving, Leonard looked back.
"You two..."
"Have fun."
Just before the door closed, Raj was still trying desperately to peek through the narrowing gap.
---
The five of them stood silently in the hallway.
After two seconds, Penny finally couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Okay, guys."
"I know this really isn't any of my business."
She paused.
"But I have to ask..."
"What exactly is Sheldon's sexual orientation?"
"What do you mean by orientation?" Leonard asked.
"I mean..."
Penny spread her hands.
"Does he like women? Men? Robots? Inflatable dolls?"
Ethan opened his mouth, intending to say Sheldon liked women.
Then he realized...
He actually had no proof.
So he quietly closed it again.
"Honestly," Leonard admitted, "our working theory is that Sheldon doesn't have one."
Penny looked unconvinced.
"Oh, come on. Everybody has one."
"Not Sheldon."
Howard wore a perfectly serious expression.
"Over the years we've developed several theories about how his species reproduces."
"I'm a supporter of mitosis."
"What does that mean?" Penny asked.
"I believe one day Sheldon will eat enough Thai food..."
"...and then pop!"
"...split into two Sheldons."
"I disagree."
Leonard shook his head.
"My theory is that he's currently in the larval stage of whatever species he belongs to."
"One day he'll spin himself into a cocoon."
"Then, two months later, he'll emerge with wings and an exoskeleton."
"Thank you."
Penny nodded.
"I'm definitely having nightmares tonight."
She turned toward her own apartment.
Leonard stopped her.
"Want to come out with us?"
"Where are you going?"
Silence.
Howard cleared his throat.
"My mom's making chicken breasts tonight."
Leonard's eyes lit up.
"With the pearl onions?"
"Of course."
Penny immediately took a step backward.
"I just remembered I have something to do."
"Good night."
Standing among the group, Ethan maintained a perfectly polite smile.
But he fixed Penny with an unusually earnest look.
Help me.
Penny blinked.
Ethan raised an eyebrow slightly.
Leonard was still enthusiastically selling the idea.
"Are you sure, Penny? Mrs. Wolowitz's chicken breasts are incredible."
Ethan widened his eyes, silently pleading again.
This time, his expression carried the determination of someone marching to his execution.
"Oh! Right!"
Penny suddenly slapped her forehead.
"Ethan!"
He instantly picked up the cue.
"What is it?"
She rubbed her temple.
"My head's been bothering me a little."
"Could you take a look?"
"What happened?" Leonard asked with concern.
"I probably drank too much coffee today."
Penny massaged her temples.
"I'm feeling a little dizzy."
"The brain is an extremely complex organ," Ethan explained with complete seriousness.
"A surprising number of conditions begin with dizziness."
"You've been under a lot of stress lately, haven't you?"
"Probably."
Penny nodded naturally.
"Ethan... would you mind checking me over?"
"What if I pass out?"
"Of course."
His response came so smoothly that no one questioned it.
Penny walked over to Apartment 4B and waved.
"Good night, everyone."
Ethan quietly followed her.
---
The moment the apartment door closed behind them, Ethan leaned against it and let out a long sigh of relief.
"Okay."
"We're safe."
Looking at Penny, he couldn't help laughing.
"That was some impressive acting."
"Please."
She rolled her eyes.
"I work at a restaurant."
"I smile at customers every day just to earn better tips."
She walked over to the couch and sat down before suddenly smacking her forehead.
"Wait!"
"I almost forgot!"
She hurried over to the TV stand and started searching frantically for the remote.
"What is it?" Ethan asked.
Finally finding it, she switched on the television.
"My TV show premieres tonight."
"Tonight?"
"Yep."
She shrugged as though it weren't a big deal.
"It's just a tiny role."
"Don't get your hopes up."
The TV was still showing commercials, so the program hadn't started yet.
Sitting at the other end of the couch with a throw pillow hugged to her chest, Penny looked over at him.
"If it's terrible..."
"You're not allowed to laugh."
"I wouldn't."
Ethan smiled.
"But if it's amazing..."
"...don't let it go to your head."
"I'll try."
Ethan glanced at the time.
There was still a while to go.
"Then let's solve the dinner problem first."
Penny looked up.
"You're buying?"
"Of course."
Ethan answered naturally.
"You just saved my life."
"Well then, Doctor..."
"What are you treating me to?"
Ethan pulled out his phone.
"You choose."
"Just not Thai food."
"Pizza?"
"Too ordinary."
"Hamburgers?"
"Not in the mood."
Penny narrowed her eyes.
"Are you sure this is how someone treats another person to dinner?"
"Sorry."
Ethan smiled.
"I just wanted to buy you something nicer."
Her expression softened.
"How about Chinese food?"
"Deal."
The two of them leaned together over the takeout menu.
"Is this one spicy?" Penny asked.
"It shouldn't be."
"'Shouldn't' sounds dangerous."
"Relax."
Ethan grinned.
"I'm a doctor."
"It can't be that dangerous."
"I refuse to cry over spicy food."
Laughing, Ethan added two more dishes to the order.
"Isn't that too much food?" Penny asked.
"It'll be fine."
"It's a special day."
"We're celebrating your television debut."
Penny shrugged as though she didn't care.
But the corners of her lips couldn't help curling upward.
---
The food arrived.
The show began.
Five minutes passed.
Penny still hadn't appeared.
"Maybe in the second episode?" Ethan offered quietly.
"Shut up."
Three more minutes passed.
The scene shifted to a hospital corridor.
A nurse pushed a patient on a gurney across the screen.
Penny suddenly sat bolt upright.
"That's me!"
The camera gave her exactly two seconds of screen time...
Then cut away.
The episode continued.
Ethan was silent for a moment.
"I have to admit..."
"You pushed that hospital bed very professionally."
Penny threw a pillow at him.
"That was an essential plot point!"
"Absolutely."
Ethan nodded solemnly.
"Without you, the patient wouldn't have gone anywhere."
Penny hugged the pillow and slumped back into the couch.
"At least I wasn't just a blurry background extra."
"Did you have any lines?" Ethan asked.
She coughed awkwardly.
"I get one later."
"What is it?"
"'Doctor... he's awake.'"
"Extremely important."
Ethan nodded gravely.
Penny turned toward him.
"Are you trying not to laugh?"
He shook his head.
"For a first TV appearance, getting more than a background role is already something to be proud of."
He picked up his takeout container and lightly clinked it against hers in a mock toast.
After a brief hesitation, Penny joined in.
They watched the rest of the episode together until the ending theme began to play.
Still hugging the pillow, Penny spoke softly.
"I was actually pretty nervous."
"Why?" Ethan asked.
"It's my first time on television."
She shrugged, trying to sound casual.
"I was only on screen for a few seconds..."
"But..."
"It's still my first time."
Ethan nodded.
"That's definitely worth celebrating."
He looked at her with complete sincerity.
"Someday, when you're standing on a stage holding an award..."
"...you can say, 'I'd like to thank the person who praised my professional hospital-bed-pushing skills when I only had two seconds of screen time.'"
Penny stared at him for several seconds.
"You really think I'll win an award someday?"
"Absolutely."
Ethan smiled.
"Every great actor starts somewhere."
"Some just happen to start by pushing hospital beds."
She looked at him quietly before breaking into a genuine smile.
"All right."
"If that day ever comes..."
"I'll make sure to mention you."