Calling him "Shit God Uchiha Madara" would have been one thing, but why the hell did this villager have such a weird accent?
As expected of a bunch of country bumpkins from Amegakure!
"Madara, did you really kill that guy's second uncle?" Hashirama's main body hurried over from behind, carefully keeping his distance, absolutely terrified that Madara might suddenly give him an enthusiastic hug and smear him with shit too.
"Probably did." Uchiha Madara crossed his arms over his chest and answered with complete indifference.
"What do you mean, 'probably'?!" Hashirama scratched his head.
"Do you keep track of how many rice balls you've eaten?"
"I do."
"..."
"Then tell me—how many rice balls have you eaten from birth until death?"
"Eighteen thousand and twenty-three."
"..."
'Why the fuck would you know that?!'
Madara felt he never should have used this classic metaphor with a moron like Hashirama!
"SHIT GOD UCHIHA MADARA! Pay back my second uncle's life!"
"My third uncle died horribly! They say he was killed by one move—Shit Release: Brown wild wave dance! When they found him, his whole body had been twisted into a flower roll, and every single layer of his meat had shit stuffed inside it!"
"My fourth uncle had it even worse! He was the closest one! Uchiha Madara filled him from behind until he burst to death alive! He only weighed ninety pounds normally! But when they found the body, his stomach was bigger than Akimichi Ryoko from the Akimichi clan! And even worse, when my cousin tried to collect Fourth Uncle's body, it triggered a corpse explosion and wiped out the whole family! Damn you, Shit God Uchiha Madara!"
The villagers connected to those bandits from before were all filled with righteous indignation.
One after another, they shouted, determined to risk their lives against Uchiha Madara.
"Madara, I never thought you'd done something so evil!" Hashirama wore a look of heartfelt, dramatic pain.
As for Uchiha Madara, he finally noticed the glaring problem.
"I didn't."
"But didn't you just say you wouldn't remember how many rice balls you'd eaten?"
"..."
That was true, but—If you had ever eaten a rice ball stuffed with shit, you would definitely remember it clearly for the rest of your life!
Uchiha Madara might not remember exactly how many people he killed, or what methods he'd used.
But one thing he could say for certain was this: He absolutely NEVER killed anyone with shit!
This was practically a violent insult to his pride!
Madara's dead heart filled with fury.
He was completely convinced the people in front of him were Shadow Clones transformed by Tobirama, all for the sake of humiliating him!
'Wait.'
Uchiha Madara suddenly noticed something.
Looking down, he nearly felt dizzy and staggered, almost falling over.
Earlier, after Hashirama blasted him with that fertilizer hose, his mind had gone completely blank.
By the time he came back to his senses, he was already here.
He thought back carefully to the conversation he vaguely heard before. That innately evil Senju Tobirama said something about taking him to wash up.
Tobirama was a Water Release user, damn it!
Instead of using a simple water jutsu to clean him off first, he actually let Madara walk around covered in all that fertilizer for this long?!
Wasn't that clearly deliberate humiliation?!
No wonder Hashirama had been standing so warily far away from him!
Watching the villagers shouting as they rushed toward Uchiha Madara, Hashirama quickly retreated to the side.
It wasn't that he didn't want to protect Madara.
There was simply no need.
Madara had an Edo Tensei body. He couldn't actually be killed.
And if Hashirama stepped in, he might just end up splattered with blood—uh, or maybe shit.
But the expected scene of a tiger fallen to the plain being bullied by dogs didn't happen.
The first villager charged at Uchiha Madara with a short blade, only for Madara to use a deft technique to snatch the weapon right out of his hand.
Though because the movement was too large, Madara's frail arm violently snapped again!
Still, at least one arm remained usable, and now he had a weapon.
Relying on the blade's sharpness and his precise strikes aimed at vital points, Madara easily dealt with these random nobodies who were loudly demanding revenge while slandering his good name.
You could see from this that Uchiha Madara, as Konoha's so-called King of Dance, really did have his strengths.
He wasn't someone who could only fight so-called "high-level matches."
You could tell that in the original timeline too, from the way he fought the Allied Shinobi Forces, starting from taijutsu all the way through ninjutsu.
In that sense, he was clearly different from Obito.
Six Paths Obito suffered a fatal debuff: because the Rinnegan wasn't originally his, he couldn't use Kamui while in Ten-Tails jinchūriki form.
By contrast, later on, Six Paths Madara had no such problem. The moment he dug out Kakashi's eye, he used it immediately even in Ten-Tails jinchūriki mode.
Comparing the fighting styles of the two Ten-Tails jinchūriki made the difference obvious.
Uchiha Madara hadn't really changed.
Obito, on the other hand, changed completely.
Before becoming the Ten-Tails jinchūriki, whether as the Masked Man or in battles against Torune Aburame and Fū Yamanaka, or earlier against Minato, all his fights involved various kinds of tactical mind games.
But the underlying logic behind all that strategy and combat experience was always the same: Intangibility.
Once Obito lost that "cheat skill," he instantly stopped knowing how to fight.
All the mind-game elements completely disappeared.
Madara, meanwhile, was a pure monster.
Even after losing those monstrous strength of his, he could still at least rely on pure experience and technique to fight.
"So they weren't Tobirama's Shadow Clones? Not a single one?"
After killing them all, Madara collapsed straight to the dirt.
Only after his Edo Tensei body recovered for a while did he finally stand back up.
"Madara, you killed people again." Hashirama looked deeply saddened.
Clapping his hands together, he used Wood Release to drag the corpses into the ground and bury them.
"...Then why didn't you stop me? Or stop them? You're the one who got them killed," Madara shot Hashirama a glare and said coldly.
At the same time, he was thinking over what those people—who were apparently not Tobirama's transformed clones—said earlier.
At first, he hadn't paid attention to the content of their words, assuming it was all just Tobirama trying to humiliate him.
But now it seemed that wasn't the case.
Those people were telling the truth.
Which meant the "Shit God Uchiha Madara" they were talking about wasn't him.
So who was it?
And who exactly was this person using a move called Shit Release: Brown wild wave dance?!
The answer was already painfully obvious.
'It was the damn tool who usurped my name, walked the shinobi world under my identity, and gathered Tailed Beasts on my behalf—Uchiha Obito!'
Madara felt a massive surge of regret.
Back then, he already felt Uchiha Obito's personality was somewhat unreliable.
But at the time, he thought that once Obito was fully corrupted, his character would change too, so there was no need to worry.
Now it seemed a dog couldn't stop eating shit, and one's nature was hard to change.
Obito actually used his name to play with shit?!
Could it be that when White Zetsu cells were used to repair half his body back then, he got influenced by that one White Zetsu who was completely obsessed with crap?!
While Madara thought through the situation, he quietly took advantage of the moment when Hashirama fell into a slump because of his earlier words.
He moved closer—and pressed his whole, fertilizer-covered body against Hashirama!
"AHHH—!"
Hashirama snapped out of it, looked at the Wood Release fertilizer completely covering him, and let out a miserable scream.
He guarded against it for so long, and in the end, he still hadn't managed to stop Madara from getting handsy!