"Not quite, Father Anderson," I said, a sharp grin tugging at my lips as I drew my knives. The cold steel caught the dim light of the room, humming with anticipation.
"So be it," Anderson replied, his voice a low, gravelly rumble. With a metallic *shlack*, he crossed his massive bayonets into a perfect, deadly crucifix.
"Shall we?"
Without waiting for an answer, I began walking toward him. Step for step, he matched my pace, the tension in the room stretching until it finally snapped.
"We shall."
Clang!
Our weapons collided in a shower of sparks. The sheer force of the impact rattled my bones, but I didn't back down. Instead, I glanced around at the ruined room.
"This place is a bit crowded. What do you say we take this somewhere else?"
Before he could answer, I channeled every ounce of strength into my leg and delivered a brutal front kick straight to his chest, launching the massive priest right through the glass window.
"Master, please, I am choking over here!" Seras gagged from the corner, her hands gripping her throat as the dust and debris swirled around her.
"Hold on, Police Girl, I am watching over here," Alucard said, waving a dismissive, gloved hand, his crimson eyes glued to the shattered window.
I leaped out after the priest, gravity pulling us down into the open courtyard.
"Let's see you handle this!" I yelled.
Mid-air, my mana flared as I summoned a heavy flintlock rifle into my grip. *Bang!* The shot was dead-on, shattering his skull. But the bastard didn't even slow down. His flesh knitted back together instantly.
With a roar, he threw a barrage of bayonets straight at me. I twisted my body, dodging them with ease as they whistled past my ears. But Anderson was already closing the distance. He appeared in front of me like a ghost, swinging a blade aimed cleanly at my neck.
Clang!
I blocked the decapitating blow with my knives, but the brute force behind it was insane. Before I could counter, his boot connected hard with my side, sending me skidding back across the pavement.
"Hahaha! Have enough yet?" Anderson roared, a mad, zealous grin plastering his face.
"Hahahaha! Not quite," I laughed back.
I felt the familiar heat flare in my chest as my eyes bled into a piercing, supernatural red. Reaching into the ether, I summoned two massive bayonets of my own, crossing them perfectly in a mocking imitation of his style.
"Hey! That's mine!" Father Anderson shouted, his grin instantly souring into pure rage.
"What are you going to do about it? Cry?"
With a furious snarl, he dashed forward. The sound of our bayonets clashing echoed like thunder through the night.
"Little Missy, would you be so kind as to tell me who you are?" he asked through gritted teeth as our blades ground against one another.
"Sorry, I am not an eight-year-old boy," I grinned.
Before I could slip past his guard, a deafening volley of gunfire tore through the air between us. The bullets chewed up the concrete, forcing us to quickly break our bind and leap backward.
"What the hell are you doing?" a cold, authoritative voice demanded.
Standing a few yards away was a woman, calmly smoking a cigarette with a smoking pistol held in her hand. Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing.
"Ah, that sucks," Alucard muttered from the shadows. Grabbing the back of the Police Girl's uniform, he dragged her along as he glided effortlessly toward his master's side.
Anderson spit on the ground, his eyes narrowing at the newcomer. "Ah, another Protestant bastard."
"I am a woman," Integra replied coldly, adjusting her glasses.
"Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy Protestant bastard," Anderson barked back, completely unfazed.
Integra's eyes flashed with anger. "Do you know this is a grave violation of our agreement?!"
"I have no idea what you're on about! I'm just here doin' my job!" Anderson shouted, waving his arms wildly. "Killin' vampires, an' werewolves, an' leprechauns! I never actually found one, but do ya think if I cut one open with ma knife, it would spill out Lucky Charms?!"
"Just shut up!" Integra snapped, her patience entirely gone. "Where the hell is Alucard?!"
"Sup," a deep voice echoed from right behind her.
Anderson glared at the red-coated true nosferatu. "Still ain't done with you yet, blood sucker."
Integra ignored the priest and turned her sharp, icy gaze toward me. "And you... who the hell are you?"
"Just a vampire hunter walking around," I said with a casual shrug.
Sensing an opening, Anderson charged at me like a freight train, his bayonet raised high. But before he could even get close, a figure blurred into existence right in front of him.
"You done goofed, priest," Remilia said.
With absolute, terrifying precision, her slender fingers caught the edge of Anderson's blade, stopping it dead in its tracks. Before the priest could even register the shock, Remilia drove a brutal punch into his gut, sending him flying backward across the courtyard.
I immediately lowered my head, dropping to one knee. "Mistress."
Anderson coughed, pushing himself up from the dirt. He looked at Remilia, then at Alucard, and finally at Integra.
"You know what? Fuck this, I am out of here," he grumbled.
He whipped out his holy book, flipping it open. In an instant, thousands of scripture pages erupted into the air, swirling around him like a paper hurricane. When the pages scattered into the wind, the mad priest was gone.
A heavy silence fell over the courtyard.
"Oh... oh my God... We survived!" Seras gasped, collapsing in relief.
Alucard shifted on his feet, turning a hopeful gaze toward his master. "Sooo... What? Do I get to go after him?"
"No," Integra said flatly.
"Aww, come on!" the ancient vampire whined like a child denied a toy.
"No, and that's final! We've got bigger things to worry about," Integra demanded, before turning her gaze toward Remilia and me. Her brow furrowed in deep thought. "Whoever's behind these vampire attacks, it has to be some kind of large, organized group."
Alucard smirked. "Like the Nazis?"
"That would be retarded," Integra deadpanned, before looking back to Remilia for answers.
Meanwhile, miles away, buried deep beneath the earth in a sprawling, shadowy bunker...
A dark room stood completely filled with uniform-clad men. At the front of the stage, standing beneath the banners of a dead empire, a short, heavy-set man adjusted his glasses and looked out at his loyal followers.
"Gentlemen... ve... are Nazis..." the Major whispered, his voice dripping with theatrical malice.
The crowd erupted instantly, their voices shaking the very foundations of the room.
"Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!"
The Major raised a hand, a twisted, ecstatic smile spreading across his face. "Und we... will have war~"
"Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!"
"Und ve... U-UND VE...!" The Major's eyes suddenly went wide, his face contorting as a massive itch hit his nose. "ATCHUUH!"
The entire room paused for a fraction of a second before roaring back in unison
"Gesundheit! Gesundheit!"