humor

Saving the girl cop by chance, the Little Daoist descending from the mountain begins his career as a bodyguard. He fights monsters, occasionally steps on wealthy and handsome men, and enjoys an endless life of fun!

I'm just spamming "all hail lord mashroom" (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) in honour of the one and only true God from lord of mysteries (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

In his dream, Leo found himself transported into the Marvel Universe—only to be inexplicably captured by the Time Variance Authority (TVA). Just when things couldn’t get worse, he finally heard the long-awaited system’s voice! “Ding! Extracting Loki’s Frost Giant physique!” “Ding! Extracting Jean Grey’s Phoenix Force!” “Ding! Extracting Tony Stark’s Iron Man armor set!” “Ding! Devouring Iceman’s cryokinetic ability!” “Ding! Devouring Thanos’s Eternal body!” Extract what you want—devour what you don’t! “Hey, purple potato—what do you think these are?” “What!? Dozens of Infinity Stones!?” Thanos coughs up blood. Dead.

As conspiracies begin to surface and panic spreads through Hogwarts, a mysterious Q&A space suddenly appears, pulling several people inside. Then, an odd question is posed to everyone: “What is the main reason Draco keeps provoking Harry?” A: Jealousy of Harry’s fame and reputation B: Draco’s inherently dark nature C: Draco deeply loves Harry, and that love turned into hatred D: He’s not entirely sane and wants to destroy Harry if he can’t have him Everyone turns to look at Draco. Draco: “Why is everyone staring at me like they’re about to eat me alive? I’m freaking out here. What do I do? Someone please help—urgent!”

Loren, who started with a combat power of 820, transmigrated into the Dragon Ball world and only wanted to eat, sleep, and live like a salted fish. Then, the God-level Selection System activated! [Ding! Major threat detected: Raditz (combat power 1500)! This enemy will seriously endanger your future life!] [Choice 1: Follow the salted fish lifestyle! Escape immediately! Reward: “Perfect Breath Hiding” experience card!] [Choice 2: Remain a true salted fish forever! Face Raditz head-on! Reward: Combat power increases by 20,000 points! Saiyan-exclusive combat skill unlocked!] Loren: “Thanks for the invitation. I just woke up on Earth. If I want to sunbathe peacefully from now on, Raditz… you’re in my way.” System prompt: [Choice confirmed! Reward of 20,000 combat power points obtained! Congratulations to the host for learning ‘Air Dance Mastery’!] Daily task: [Sunbathe under Karin Tower for one hour] → Combat Power +15 Daily task: [Eat a full meal and take a nap] → Combat Power +10 After returning from intense training, Vegeta discovered that Loren’s combat power had risen again. He was shocked. “How the hell are you getting this strong?!” Loren yawned. “I just woke up. Maybe I leveled up in my sleep.” Frieza: “The emperor of the universe has arrived! Kneel!” Loren: “Tsk. Anyone who interrupts my nap has to die. Frieza, for the sake of my comfortable life, I’m beating you up first.” Android 18: “Hey, Loren… want to go fishing on an uninhabited island tomorrow?” Loren: “Hmm… sure. As long as you don’t disturb my sleep.”

He transmigrated into the Dragon Ball world and became Gohan, awakening a unique training system. By simply doing push-ups, his strength increased. And the stronger Gohan became, the more push-ups he did. (The system’s bonuses are only supplementary and do not replace Gohan’s own hard-earned training and growth.) “Ding! Congratulations, Master—you’ve completed one push-up! Combat power +1!” “Ding! Congratulations, Master—you completed a push-up in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber! Combat power +10!” “Ding! Congratulations, Master—you’ve taken one step! Combat power +1!” “Ding! Congratulations, Master—you completed a push-up! Combat power +10!” … Beerus: “Damn it! How did Gohan train? He’s even stronger than me!” Gohan: “It’s nothing, really. I just do push-ups every day.” ...... Author’s Note Hello, readers! Welcome to my second Webnovel account. My first Webnovel account is Shadow_demon_007, where I uploaded 20 fanfics. Due to Webnovel’s upload limits and rules, I created this second account so I can continue uploading more fanfics for you all. Please also check out my first account, where many of those 20 fanfics are available. Some of them are already fully completed, and I have uploaded those completed fanfics on my Patreon patreon.comShadow_demon_007 On Patreon, you can find Fully completed fanfics One free fanfic available for readers Another free fanfic coming in a few days I sincerely hope you enjoy my works, and I truly appreciate all your support. Thank you for reading and supporting me! — Shadow_demon_007

Wake up and find yourself as Captain America in the Marvel universe! Captain America is the moral compass, the embodiment of justice, and a spiritual leader. But now… the system’s missions are absurdly abstract. Does dancing with female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents count as a reward? Fury stared in disbelief as he watched Captain America waltz across the nightclub floor with Black Widow, Hill, and other female agents the day after waking up. Could this be an imposter? Is this really Captain America? And then… are there rewards for being the captain of Hydra? “Believe me, long live Hydra!” Captain America shouted with an evil grin, reciting the classic slogan. Pierce watched in stunned silence, his fanatical younger brother now seemingly defected to Captain America, leaving him feeling utterly betrayed. ...... Author’s Note Hello, readers! Welcome to my second Webnovel account. My first Webnovel account is Shadow_demon_007, where I uploaded 20 fanfics. Due to Webnovel’s upload limits and rules, I created this second account so I can continue uploading more fanfics for you all. Please also check out my first account, where many of those 20 fanfics are available. Some of them are already fully completed, and I have uploaded those completed fanfics on my Patreon patreon.comShadow_demon_007 On Patreon, you can find Fully completed fanfics One free fanfic available for readers Another free fanfic coming in a few days I sincerely hope you enjoy my works, and I truly appreciate all your support. Thank you for reading and supporting me! — Shadow_demon_007

Dragon Ball + One-Punch Man + Multiple Female Leads Transmigrated into Krillin, not only do I have no hair, but I'm also destined to be killed as a sacrifice? [Ding! Invincible Devouring System activated, newbie gift pack received!] [Congratulations, host. You have obtained: Saitama-style bald head template (hairline -100%, combat power +∞).] I can gain attribute points by completing "100 push-ups + 10km run"? I can even steal core skills by seducing beautiful women and "devouring" enemies? [Ding! Key story character Bulma detected. Romance quest unlocked!] Mission 1: Intercept Yamcha and win Bulma's heart (Reward: Capsule Corporation unlimited funds) Mission 2: Save the dual-human Launch and make her sneeze only for you (Reward: Berserk Power Boost) Mission 3: Influence Android 18 and let her experience the feeling of a heartbeat (Reward: Unlimited stamina buff) I originally just wanted to stay on Earth and retire quietly, but they gave me so much! Bulma smiled faintly, "Krillin, this is a gravity chamber I specially made for you. Tonight, come to my house to test it?" Android 18 crossed her arms and smirked, "Hey, bald guy, that's not how you use your Ki Blast. Let me teach you." Raditz had just landed and sneered, "A trash with a combat power of only 5... Pfft!" He was instantly punched straight through the chest. Frieza began transforming and declared, "Let me show you my final form." He was blasted to smithereens by a serious punch before he could finish. Absorb Saiyan genes → Gain the [Near-Death Power Up Passive] Devour the android core → Obtain the [Infinite Energy Furnace] Everyone stared in terror at the shiny bald head and muttered, "Is this guy even human?"

Magnus Chane was a perfectly average, practically invisible 20-year-old college geek… until the morning a mysterious “System” booted up in his head. It grants him superpowers. It sets impossible quests. It threatens him with instant death if he fails. His very first mission? Seduce Alejandra “Alex” Reyes — the most popular girl on campus — within seven days… or die. There’s just one problem: She doesn’t even know he exists. Raised on Spider-Man, Nightwing, and every comic-book hero who taught him to never cross moral lines, Magnus refuses to cheat, coerce, or manipulate his way through the challenge. So he chooses the only option that lets him live with himself: Win her heart. For real. In a week. What follows is a chaotic spiral of evolving superpowers, escalating quests, questionable “advice” from a raccoon, and a system that seems increasingly unhinged… All while Magnus desperately tries to stay alive, stay good, and maybe—just maybe—get the girl. Note: The series takes place in the near future (2030s).

Waking up in the body of a billionaire heir was a shock, but realizing he is inside the TV show The Rookie changed everything. Ethan Mercer isn't just playing cop; he is armed with a supernatural arsenal: Lie Detection that twists his gut when people are dishonest, a Danger Sense that warns him of threats before they happen, and Instant Mastery that lets him copy any physical skill he sees. With Photographic Recall keeping every detail sharp, Ethan is on a mission to rewrite the script and save the characters destined to die—if the mental toll doesn't break him first

Zbiór poezji anty poetycznych, czysto prawdziwych i metaforycznych. English version - Work In Progress

While waiting for Yukinoshita in the clubroom, he unexpectedly travels to the world of Classroom of the Elite and becomes the representative of Class B. Initially, he only intended to keep a low profile while helping Class B escape its tragic fate from the original story, and incidentally saving Ichinose Honami. However, why these girls seems to know what am I Thinking?

Twenty years after the peace that followed the First Shinobi War, a young boy grows up in Konoha as everything begins to crumble. With nothing but an unusual bloodline and burdened with a troubled legacy, Homura Reiji prepares himself for one of the bloodiest conflicts the elemental nations have ever seen. As it draws closer, he will have to decide what he’s willing to become… And what he’s willing to lose. Disclaimer: This is an AU set during the Minato era. Pacing is slow-burn. Update schedule: Slower releases, with longer chapters and a focus on quality. For more : https://thesoulfrost.carrd.co/

Peter Parker is not a guy from another world who woke up in someone else's body and decided to play superhero with a cheat sheet. He is Peter Benjamin Parker — fifteen, Queens, New York, completely and entirely himself. He has always been himself. It's just that sometimes, in the back of his brain, there's an archive that shouldn't be there. Not memories, exactly. More like echoes. Fragments of a life he didn't live in this universe The genre conventions, the recurring tragedies, the cast of characters who are supposed to show up and what they're supposed to do when they get there. The problem is that this universe doesn't follow any blueprint he recognizes. This isn't 616. It's not the MCU. It's not any specific continuity from anything he half-remembers — it's a new creation, running on its own logic, diverging from canon in ways that catch him off-guard when he's already committed to a plan. His foreknowledge is real. It's also fragmented, unreliable, and occasionally catastrophically wrong. He can be surprised. He can miscalculate. He can almost die. more available at : [email protected]/goldengaruda

Jiro was just scrolling through some Naruto clips before bed, unaware that every edit was being simultaneously transmitted across all timelines of the Shinobi World. Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't bear to watch the replay of his own life. The Uchiha clan discovered their future of annihilation. Madara Uchiha fell silent as he watched "The Truth of the Infinite Tsukuyomi." Namikaze Minato trembled and wept as he read "The Life of Naruto." Naruto Uzumaki learned to form Rasengan ahead of time. Orochimaru, meanwhile, fell into deep contemplation while watching "The Complete Collection of Failed Immortality Experiments." When Jiro finally edited together his own imagined "Perfect Naruto Ending," the history of the entire Shinobi World veered irrevocably toward an unknown point of divergence.

One Man. In One War. With Two Names. Among the Three Realms. He was Ymir Celestie of Lunar. The chaotic Prince of the Kingdom. A character I cherished so dearly because his design was modeled after me. One of the finest creations, and central antagonist in the game I was working on. But if someone asked whether I’d ever want to live his life, I’d probably stare at them and wonder what kind of non-sense hypothetical situation they might be imagining. BECAUSE THIS MAN IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH! He's a butcher, a maniac, someone who would murder for disrepecting him, even if that's indirect. . . And here I was… reincarnated as a psychopath, hiding behind the mask of a prince, and a professor. --- Disclaimer: All characters, events, and mythologies depicted in this work are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real persons, cultures, or historical traditions: living or dead; is purely coincidental, even where names or motifs may appear similar. --- #MastermindMC #SecretIdentity #Reincarnation #DarkFantasy #AntiHero

In an attempt to rescue Iruka, Naruto uses an unknown jutsu from the forbidden scroll. The result? His original body obliterated, but in its place emerges a sleek, state-of-the-art model crafted by the Nidaime. Behold—Naruto is now 2B, a synthetic shinobi (or kunoichi if you prefer), ready to rock the ninja world like never before! Join my Discord Server: https://discord.gg/X7sphRUsxJ

PvZ meets Solo Farming In The Tower. What to expect: - Mature and logical MC who refuse to be devoured by vengeance - A garden full of war crimes - Character driven story over fast-pace progression - Lovable cast of characters - Lore. Lots of lore regarding the dungeons and the civilizations that had fallen within it for you lorebrarians. - Update daily at 6pm CET -------------- “In a gold rush, the position of shovel vendors is reserved for the privileged.” That was a lesson Phong Tran had to learn the hard way. One year after the dungeon appeared, it had become a modern gold rush. People awakened classes, unlocked skills, and dove into the dungeon for its seemingly endless riches and resources. Phong, a level 1 Farmer with a dead EXP bar, naturally gravitated toward becoming a wandering vendor. While other people fought monsters, gained EXP, and became media heroes, he sold them socks, battery banks, and energy drinks. Phong existed in the space between glory and obscurity, until one day, a privileged bastard took everything from him. He was beaten half to death, and his aunt and uncle were “erased” for being inconvenient to those at the top. As if it had a cruel sense of humor, Phong received his first and only quest while lying in his sickbed: “Plant 10 potatoes.” No rewards. No promise of revenge. Just 10 potatoes sitting there, as if to mock his powerlessness. He took the quest. And now, he must conquer the dungeon with only 10 potatoes to his name.

The Sixth Member of the Police Academy in Detective Conan [No female lead. Master of disguises. The male protagonist is a growth-type character who develops over time rather than becoming overpowered instantly.] As one of the six members of the police academy group, Sasajima Ritsu embarks on the “point of no return” by going undercover in the Black Organization. However, he never expected to gain Gin’s appreciation and even end up becoming close enough with Vodka to call each other brothers. Wait a second… I’m an undercover agent, right? Gin, snap out of it—stop always looking out for me! And wait—how did it come to this? My subordinates are undercover agents, and even my colleagues are undercover agents too? P.S. This story has no romantic pairing (no CP). There are many foreshadowing elements, and the author will do their best to resolve them all!

[SCENE START] "Get the fuck out of here, you broke-ass, miserable Mandorian piece of shit!" the wealthy DI'an resident sneered, aggressively adjusting the cuffs of his ridiculously expensive suit. "Get the fuck out of our country, you bottom-feeding peasants!" The man in the poorly dressed uniform stood his ground, glaring right back with pure defiance. "I am not poor, and I am not going anywhere! I'm a legal resident of this shithole just like you, so take your elite corporate entitlement and shove it straight up your tight fucking ass!" "Oh? You wanna play hardball?" the DI'an resident laughed, a dark, cartoonishly evil grin spreading across his face. "Let me show you what a real corporate beatdown looks like, you pathetic broke fuck!" "And... CUT! Cut!" a director yelled from the background. "Beautiful! That was absolutely perfect. Exactly the scene I wanted!" [SCENE END] I instantly dropped my evil smirk, let out a heavy sigh of exhaustion, and looked right at the screen. Yeah, aren't you? I am talking to you. Mr. Reader, or Mrs., or... whatever it is. Just—look, Reader. Listen up. Let me properly introduce myself. I am the actual Narrator of the story you are about to read. Yeah, I just took a minor acting role in this cheap propaganda ad because I needed to scrape together some extra revenue on the side. The economy is absolute shit right now. Now, you are probably staring at your screen, looking at our tags, and thinking, 'Oh boy, they placed this story into the Fantasy category! Is it a standard fantasy story?' Let me stop you right fucking there. No. There won't be any majestic dragons, no pointy-eared elves, no generic magic systems, and definitely no standard-issue Demon Lord waiting at the end to get punched in the face. So why the hell did we choose the 'Fantasy' tag then? Well, let me explain the logic. The events in this story are entirely disconnected from real life, taking place in a completely different world with its own strange rules, massive scale, and alternate dimensions. We couldn't exactly throw this into 'Realistic Fiction' or 'Urban.' But honestly? The platform simply didn't have a better box for us to check. If I had the power to accurately name the actual genre of this novel, it would be a Pseudo-Corporate, Geopolitical Comedy. I know. It sounds ridiculously long, incredibly stupid, and a bit ridiculous. But it is whatever the fuck it is. We didn't have any other options. So, look. This story might not be exactly what you were expecting when you clicked that tag. You have a choice right now: you can either jump into Chapter 1, or you can get the hell out based entirely on what I am telling you right now. And yeah, yeah, I know it has literally been six months since we launched and we are just now updating our old, horribly vague synopsis. I have been busting my ass writing the main chapters, okay? I know this story is vastly different from the usual fantasy novels you see in this category. Some people might not click with it, and that is completely fine. But it's up to you. You can give it a try, or don't— AHEM. A loud, highly pointed, aggressively fake cough echoed from off-stage. I rolled my eyes, glaring at the Author. Alright, alright, I get it! The synopsis ends here. I am going to write the new chapter now before this guy fires me. Byeeeeee.