"Hiiiiiiiii!"
Yeah, I know.
Stories don't usually start like this.
But relax—this is my story. And trust me, by the time I'm done, it's going to be the greatest thing you've ever heard.
…Or at least the most embarrassing.
My name is Yuji.
Let me take you back to a place called Longville.
My life there?
Completely normal.
No magic.
No superpowers.
No destiny calling my name.
Nothing.
Well… almost nothing.
I had friends.
And honestly, that should've been enough.
But there was just one small problem.
Every. Single. One. Of. Them… had a girlfriend.
Except me.
Yeah.
I was that guy.
You know the one.
The third wheel.
The bonus character.
The "bro, can you take our picture?" guy.
Every time we hung out, it was the same thing. They'd be all lovey-dovey, holding hands, laughing at things that weren't even funny…
And I'd just sit there.
Alone.
Staring at nothing.
Questioning my life choices.
After enduring this emotional torture for way too long, I finally reached a conclusion.
A powerful, life-changing decision.
"I'm going to get a girlfriend."
There was just one tiny issue.
I had absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.
None.
Zero.
It was like my brain shut down the moment I got within a five-meter radius of one.
And it didn't help that I wasn't rich…
Or particularly handsome…
Or, you know… interesting.
So naturally, I did what any completely rational person would do.
I made a plan.
A brilliant plan.
A flawless plan.
A plan so genius that it could only have come from someone like me.
"I'll steal a girl's heart!"
…Okay, okay.
Not steal steal.
More like… aggressively win her over.
By any means necessary.
"…Or," I muttered, "I could just kidnap one."
Yeah.
I said it.
Desperate times call for extremely questionable decisions.
Of course, I couldn't do this alone.
So I went to my best friend.
Jayka.
We were sitting in my room when I explained everything to him.
In great detail.
With passion.
With vision.
With absolutely no shame.
When I finished, he just stared at me.
Like I had completely lost my mind.
"Are you kidding me, Yuji?" he said. "You can't seriously be thinking about kidnapping a girl. You'll end up in jail—or worse… dead!"
Honestly?
Fair point.
But I wasn't giving up that easily.
After a long discussion—
And by "discussion," I mean shameless bribery—
I finally got him to agree.
"Fine," he sighed. "I'll help you. But only because you promised me fifty bucks when you get paid next."
Totally worth it.
I felt a tiny bit guilty for bribing him…
But then I remembered my mission.
Get. A. Girlfriend.
That night, at exactly midnight, we made our move.
We snuck into the local university.
The place was quiet.
Dark.
Suspiciously empty.
And, as luck would have it, the security guards had apparently decided that guarding things was overrated and went to the bar instead.
Perfect.
We moved carefully through the halls, trying not to make a sound—like two professional thieves in a heist movie.
Except less professional.
And more stupid.
Eventually, we reached the girls' dorm.
This was it.
The moment of truth.
We waited.
And waited.
And—
SLIP.
My foot betrayed me.
Before I could react, I crashed to the floor with a noise so loud it probably echoed across the entire campus.
Maybe even the next city.
Possibly the moon.
There was a brief moment of silence.
Then—
"HELP! SOME PERVERTS ARE HERE!"
My soul left my body.
"Run!" I whispered—loudly.
We bolted.
Full speed.
No dignity.
No plan.
Just pure survival.
But of course… things couldn't be that easy.
Out of nowhere, a security guard appeared in front of us.
Like a ninja.
A very angry, armed ninja.
I froze.
He raised his gun and pointed it straight at me.
"Don't you dare move," he said sharply, "or I'll shoot."
Now, a normal person would stop.
A smart person would surrender.
A sane person would apologize and rethink their life.
I did none of those things.
Instead, I ran straight at him.
Because, obviously, I thought I could dodge the bullet.
Like in the movies.
…Yeah.
No.
BANG.
Pain exploded through my chest as I hit the ground.
Hard.
Everything felt distant.
The noise.
The fear.
Even the pain.
But then…
I saw Jayka.
Still standing there.
Frozen.
Using the last bit of strength I had, I reached out and grabbed the guard's leg, pulling him down with me.
"RUN!" I shouted.
Jayka hesitated for a second.
His face filled with shock… and fear.
Then—
He ran.
Good.
That was the last thing I saw.
Jayka disappearing into the distance.
My vision blurred.
Darkness crept in.
And just like that…
Everything went black.