Meri saanse ek pal ke liye ruk si gayi thi.
"Wo kisi aur ke liye tha
Uski ye baat mere kaano me baar-baar goonj rahi thi.
Jaise kisi ne andar hi andar sab kuch tod diya ho.
Maine dheere se peeche mudkar uski taraf dekha.
Aankhon me sawal tha dard tha aur thoda sa gussa bhi.
"Matlab" maine mushkil se poocha.
Wo kuch seconds tak chup raha.
Jaise sach bolna uske liye bhi aasaan nahi tha.
Phir usne gehri saans li aur bola,
"Haan wo kisi aur ke liye tha
kyunki us waqt main kisi aur ke saath tha."
Ye sunte hi sab kuch ekdum se clear ho gaya
aur saath hi sab kuch aur zyada toot gaya.
Maine halka sa hasa par wo hasi dard se bhari thi.
"Nice to tumhe sab pata tha
phir bhi tum normal behave karte rahe
Usne turant jawab nahi diya.
Bas nazar jhuka kar khada raha.
Main tumhe hurt nahi karna chahta tha usne dheere se kaha.
Par tumne kiya maine bina soche bol diya.
Meri awaaz halki si kaanp rahi thi
par ab main apne aap ko rokna nahi chahti thi.
"Itne time tak main khud ko hi samajhti rahi ki shayad problem mujh me hai
shayad main hi zyada feel karti hoon
par sach to ye tha ki tum sab jaante hue bhi chup rahe.
Usne meri taraf dekha
uski aankhon me guilt clearly dikh raha tha.
Main confuse tha usne kaha,
main us relationship me bhi khush nahi tha
par tumhe khona bhi nahi chahta tha.
Maine turant poocha,
To tumhe kya chahiye tha Dono
Wo chup ho gaya.
Aur uski khamoshi hi uska jawab thi.
Us pal mujhe sab samajh aa gaya.
Me uski life me thi.
Par kabhi uski choice nhi thii.
Ye soch ek alag si feeling aayi ki mene use kitna cahaa kitna pyaar kara fir ehsass hua hi ham kabhi mile hi nhi hote.
Me aapne aap ko control nhi kr payi or
Meri aankhon se aansu girne lage the
iss baar maine unhe rokne ki koshish bhi nahi ki.
Thank you maine dheere se kaha.
Or ek smile kari.
Wo thoda confuse ho gaya,
Kis liye
Sach batane ke liye
aur ye realise karwane ke liye ki main kitni stupid thi sabko bahut jldi aapna maan leti hu or fir wahi insaan mera esa trust todta hai na ki me kuch keh bhi nhi pati bas andar ki andar mujhe wo baat khati rehti hai
Ye bolte hue dil aur zyada heavy ho gaya
par saath hi ek ajeeb sa sukoon bhi tha.
Kam se kam ab mujhe sach pata tha.
Main usse dekh kar halki si smile di
wo wali smile jo sirf dikhane ke liye hoti hai feel karne ke liye nahi.
Phir bina kuch aur bole main waha se chal di.
Is baar usne mujhe roka nahi.
Aur maine bhi peeche mudkar nahi dekha.
Par kahani yahi khatam nhi hui
Us raat uska ek message aaya
aur us message ne sirf meri duniya nahi
balki uski sachchai bhi saamne la di.
Agar aap meri jagah hote to kya karte rukte ya hamesha ke liye chale jaate.
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