"So… you got kicked out of your party because you refused to take high-level quests?" asked the goddess, taking another sip of her freshly bought beer.
"No. Did you not listen to a single word I just said? They kicked me out because I was the only one who wanted to take high-level quests."
"Mmm, I see. Well, in that case, I guess it makes sense." Aqua took two long gulps of her beer and then licked her upper lip, as if she didn't want to waste even a single drop of her beer. "Ahh, this is so good!"
"What do you mean?"
"The beer. Haven't you tried it? It's delicious. I suppose the fact that someone else is paying for it adds a little extra flavor, don't you think?"
"I wasn't talking about the beer. I meant what you said about it making sense that my companions kicked me out."
Aqua raised her eyebrows and looked at me in astonishment with her deep blue eyes, which seemed to sparkle under the guild's warm yellow lights.
"Oh! I mean, they were perfectly fine with the quests they'd been doing until now, so why complicate things with high-level ones? It's unnecessary effort, don't you agree?"
She once again brought the mug to her lips, tilted her head back, and began taking repeated gulps until she emptied the entire contents. Finally, she slammed it down on the table with a loud thunk.
"Bwah!… Delicious!"
I couldn't believe it. Out of nowhere, I was sitting here with the very girl responsible for my reincarnation into this world.
And not only that — I was now calmly drinking beer with her. Beer that, by the way, I had to pay for. All because this self-proclaimed goddess had blamed me for making her drop her previous one.
The most surprising part of all was that Aqua herself had been dragged into this world some time after I arrived.
And all because a certain Kazuma Sato (another reincarnated person) had chosen her as his "special item."
When I heard that, I couldn't help feeling a sharp pang of anger — and even envy. After all, I had thought exactly the same thing.
Damn it, Kaizer! Why didn't you listen to your instincts?
Right now I could have been accompanied by a beautiful goddess with all her powers at my disposal.
Or at least that's what I had thought at first. Because, judging by the little Aqua had told me, her party was also a complete disaster.
It consisted of a former hikikomori guy who was apparently so pathetic that the only class he could get was Adventurer (the most basic and weakest one). A crimson demon who could only use one spell per day (and by the way, Explosion? That sounded really dangerous). And to top it all off, a crusader who couldn't land a single hit.
With companions like that, it was better to be alone.
And it wasn't like Aqua was much different from the rest. Even though she tried to hide her own uselessness by telling me everything as if she were the most outstanding and reliable member of the group, I wasn't an idiot.
A few days ago, during a fight against one of the Demon King's generals, in a highly questionable maneuver, Aqua had cast a spell that ended up flooding the entire city and causing massive destruction.
Although the general was eventually defeated, the reward money didn't just go toward repairs — because of Aqua, Kazuma's party had also ended up with a huge debt.
So maybe I had saved myself one or two headaches by not choosing Aqua as my special item.
"Thanks for the beer… Um, did you say your name was…?"
"Kaizer," I answered dryly. "I really can't believe you don't remember my name when I just told you."
"It's not my fault, you know? Before coming here I used to spend all my time guiding the souls of the deceased to the afterlife. There's no way I can remember every single one of them."
I suppose she had a point.
"So how are you finding life here? I imagine that for a goddess, having to leave behind all the luxuries of Heaven and live among mortals hasn't been easy."
Aqua thought about the question carefully before answering.
"Ummm… it's true that at first I was really upset. But now that I've been living here for a while, I'd say this world isn't so bad. I can just lie on the couch drinking delicious frothy beer. Or go out to eat."
I chuckled.
"Sounds like someone's been living the high life," I concluded. "And here I am, trying to carry out the mission you gave me."
Aah, I wish I could live in a luxurious mansion too.
"Anyway, things haven't been going well for me lately," Aqua suddenly said in a more serious tone.
"Seriously? That's hard to believe after everything I just heard."
Aqua picked up the empty mug and began scraping the leftovers at the bottom with her index finger. When she pulled it out, the tip was wet with a bit of foam. She then brought her finger to her mouth and sucked on it. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I thought I heard her whisper something like "Damn it, I turned it into water."
"I'm in debt, Kaizuro."
"Uh… it's Kaizer," I corrected her.
"Kaizer. Sorry. And it's precisely because I'm in debt that I was looking at the quest board. But the only ones that pay well are the high-level quests."
"I see. Hey, can I ask how you ended up with such a big debt? I heard about the flooding when you defeated that Demon King general, but…"
"Huh? Oh! No, no, no, no. That's not what I meant. Well, the debt from the flooding was a problem we all had to deal with, and I guess I was a little bit at fault… hehe. But I was talking about a different debt."
"Another debt?"
Aqua lowered her gaze and started scratching her head with her finger, looking embarrassed.
"Well… how do I explain this?"
Apparently this self-proclaimed goddess had been living a life of luxury by spending way more money than she had.
She went to the most expensive restaurants in town, bought the finest wines, and — to make matters worse — a good portion of the enormous sum she owed had come from gambling.
Her companions, tired of dealing with this goddess who only caused problems, told her that this time she would have to handle it alone. They argued that they had already put up with enough when they had to split the debt from the city's destruction — especially since the main culprit was none other than the person sitting right in front of me.
"I'm starting to think that if you hadn't been the one who sent me to this world, I'd believe you were some crazy girl who escaped from a psychiatric clinic."
"Hey! That was really rude!" Aqua shrieked. "Calling a goddess crazy is an offense that clearly deserves divine punishment, you know? So you'd better apologize right now by buying me another beer."
"Sorry, sorry. I never said I didn't believe you. It's just that… precisely because I know you're a goddess, I guess I expected a different kind of —" I paused briefly "— you know, behavior from you."
Aqua scrutinized me with her blue eyes.
"For some reason that sounded even more offensive than what you said before."
Suddenly she placed a hand on her chest and straightened up proudly:
"Besides, not just anyone can boast about sitting in front of a girl as cute as me. So you should be grateful to be able to bask in my presence."
Despite her arrogant words, I had to admit she wasn't boasting for nothing. For a moment I couldn't do anything but stare, captivated by the beauty that radiated from Aqua. And I wasn't talking only about physical appearance. After all, both my old world and this one were full of beautiful women.
No, there was something more. A charisma, an allure that pierced through purely aesthetic barriers and somehow made me feel blessed just by sitting in front of her.
The stupid look on my face must have given me away, because after an awkward silence, Aqua spoke again. She tilted her head slightly to the side as if trying to read my thoughts.
"Excuse me, but… is something wrong?"
"Huh?! N-No. Not at all. Two more mugs of beer, please!" I shouted to the waitress who happened to walk by.
When she heard that, Aqua raised her eyebrows and smiled mischievously.
"Oh… I see where this is going. You think that if you get me drunk enough, you'll be able to take me to bed and give in to your carnal urges, right?"
"What? How do you even jump to that conclusion? Besides, weren't you the one who asked for another mug of beer? I'm just being nice!"
"I suppose you're right. Well then, what are you going to do about the high-level quests? Are you planning to take one?"
"About that… I was thinking we could form a temporary party together. Since we both need money, what do you say?"
When she heard that, Aqua looked at me in shock before bursting into laughter.
"You want me to team up with you? Are you serious? Sukusukusuk! And why would I want to team up with someone so pathetic that even his own party kicked him out?"
"I already explained how it happened. What occurred was… wait, did you just call me pathetic?"
"Uh? No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't."
God! This woman was unbelievable! Now I understood why it was so hard for me to believe she was actually a goddess. Every trace of divinity or resemblance to any celestial being disappeared the moment she opened that big mouth of hers.
"You know what? You're absolutely right. It was a terrible idea," I said, feeling like an idiot. "I'd better get going. You can have my beer if you want."
I stood up from the chair and left the money for the two beers on the table.
"Hey! Wait, where are you going?"
Aqua also stood up from her seat.
"Ara you really asking me that? I'm going to sleep. It's late."
"But what about the quests?"
"I guess I'll come back early tomorrow and look for one that isn't that hard."
The goddess brought her index fingers together and started tapping them nervously, looking embarrassed.
"Umm… O-On second thought, I wouldn't mind teaming up with you that much. If that way I can earn the money I need to pay off my debts."
"Oh, really? How strange. I thought I was just a pathetic adventurer to you."
She puffed out her cheeks in an almost childish gesture and glared at me angrily, like a little girl who had just been scolded by her parents.
"A-Also, since I was the one who sent you to this world, I'd feel really bad if something happened to you. After all, my reputation as a goddess is at stake. So you should thank me for being so generous."
"Uh-huh… Well, it seems to me you're just looking for someone to do the dirty work for you."
"Hey! I'm a goddess! I can handle things perfectly fine on my own, you know?"
"In that case, why don't you just pick any high-level quest and wipe out the monsters with your goddess powers or whatever?"
"I-It's not that simple for me… It's true that I have a wide variety of healing spells, and as the Goddess of Water I can purify any liquid just by touching it, but I basically have no offensive abilities. That's why it's almost impossible for me to exterminate monsters by myself."
"Wait, did you say Goddess of Water?"
"That's right. As long as it's liquid, I can purify anything I touch and turn it into water. Here, just watch!"
Then Aqua took one of the mugs of beer the waitress had just placed on our table and dipped her finger inside.
To my surprise, the entire contents began turning into plain water almost instantly.
She simply offered me the mug as if saying "this one's yours," while she took the other — the one that still had beer — and started drinking it in big gulps.
"Well? Aren't I the best?" Her words sounded more like a statement than a question.
I simply looked at my mug of beer (which now contained only ordinary water), then at Aqua, back at the mug, then at Aqua again…
This goddess… is completely useless.
And with that, I began walking quickly toward the guild door.
Without looking back.