I was walking through the corridor, lost in my thoughts as the school had just ended and everyone was rushing outside. The hallway was crowded with students moving in every direction, noise filling the air, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going when I suddenly bumped into something solid. It felt like I had hit a wall, but when I looked up, I realized it was someone's chest. I quickly stepped back, surprised and a little embarassed, trying to figure out what had just happened.
He noticed I was completely lost in my thoughts and, after a brief pause, spoke.
"Watch where you're going, Stella." he said sharply. The voice felt strangely familiar like I heard it many times before.
Something about the tone made me stop instantly. Slowly I looked up to see who it was... and the moment my eyes met his face, I froze, recognising him immediately.
He was none other than Jeon Jungkook.... my bench patner , and the very reason my mind had been completely distracted all day. Ever since lunch, my thoughts keep drifting back to him without permission. I didn't even realize how often I had been stealing glances in his direction during class. Everything I looked away, I felt like he might have already caught me staring, and the thought alone made my heartbeat act strangely.
Now, standing right infront of me after the collision, everything felt even worse. There was a calm confidence in the way he stood, like he already knew exactly what was going on in my mind.
A small knowing smile formed on his lips as he noticed my awkward silence. He tilted his head slightly and leaned in just enough for his voice to reach me clearly. " Don't think too much about it, Stella." he said. His tone was teasing, as he was gently calling me out without making it obvious. There was a pause, and then a faint smirked followed, like he was amused by how easily he had figured me out.
For a moment, I forgot how to respond. It felt like he wasn't just teasing me... he was reading me too well.
Gathering up whatever courage I could, I forced my thoughts to settle and quickly shook off the thoughts to settle and quickly shook off the nervousness building inside me.
"I wasn't thinking about anything... I was just... I don't know," I blurted out, stumbling over my own words. Even I didn't sound convincing.
He didn't respond immediately. Instead, he was just looking at me, his gaze steady and unreadable, as if he could see straight through every excuse I was trying to hide behind. The silence between us only made me more nervous. I could feel my heart beating faster under his gaze, like I was exposed without saying another word.
Unable to take it any longer, I broke eye contact and hurried past him without waiting for a reply. My steps quickens until I was almost escaping the moment itself, heading straight out of the corridor and towards home.
When I finally reached home, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, letting out a long breath I didn't even realize I was holding. The silence of my room felt heavy after the chaos of the day. I dropped my bag aside and slowly made my way to bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling, hoping the exhaustion would finally quiet my thoughts.
But it didn't.
No matter how much I tried to relax, his face kept coming back... his gaze, his voice, the way he looked at me like he already knew everything I was trying to hide. I turned to my side, then back again, frustrated with myself for not being able to stop thinking about him. It felt like my mind had stopped listening to me completely.
After a while, I sat up and reached fory phone, almost without thinking. I typed his name hesitantly, curiousity taking over frustration. One search led to another, and soon I was scrolling through whatever little information I could found, completely loosing track of time. Each detail made me more aware of him, like he was becoming louder in my thoughts instead of fading away.
At some point my eyes grew heavy. The glow of the screen blurred, my grip on the loosened, and my thoughts slowly started drifting apart. Still half - aware I placed my phone beside me, sank back into the bed, and let the tiredness finally win.
And somewhere between his name still lingering in my mind and the quite darkness of my room, sleep pulled me under without warning.
I woke up as someone gently caressed my hair with love and wramth. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw it was none other than my grandma, and a soft smile formed on my lips. She always has always been like this... gentle, loving and always there for me. She's one who raised me, because my parents were never really around. They were always busy with their buisness overseas, leaving me behind. At some point I got used to it... or at least I tried to.
"Stella, baby.... wake up," she said softly, brushing my hair back. " Go freshen up and come downstairs. You didn't eat anything after school."
I nodded slightly and got up. After freshening up, I walked downstairs and sat at the dining table while grandma served me food. The familiar smell felt comforting, something that always made me feel a little better. I started eating quietly, but after few moments, she spoke again, her voice gentle yet hesitant.
"Stella....your parents called."
My hands paused mid-air.
"I think your teacher informed them about your marks," she continued softly.
"They sounded upset.... they told me to wake you up, but I let you sleep."
"I told them you would called later."
My grip on the spoon tightened as nervousbess crept in. I already knew what was coming. I forced myself to nod, trying to act normal, but inside, I felt the same heaviness again... like I had failed once more.
Grandma noticed my expression and pulled me into a side hug, gently rubbing my arm.
"It's okay," she whispered.
After finishing my food, I sat there for a while, gathering some courage. Then finally, I picked up my phone and called my parents. As expected, their voices were sharp, filled with disappointment and anger. Every word they said felt heavy, reminding me how I wasn't good enough. I stayed quiet most of the time, just listening.
When the called ended, I slowly lowered my phone.
"I'm going outside," I said quietly.
Grandma looked at me with concern but nodded. I stepped out, and cool evening air hit my face. I started walking without any direction, my mind replaying everything... their words, their tone, their disappointment. After a while, I felt tired and sat down on a bench near the street, lost in my thoughts.
Why was I never enough?
I let out a quiet sigh, staring at the ground, when suddenly I felt someone's presence around me. I looked up slowly... saw him. Jungkook. For a moment I was confused about what he was doing there, but I was too drained to react properly. I just looked down again.
He walked over and sat beside me, leaving a small gap between us.
"I was passing by," he said.
"I saw you sitting here."
I didn't respond.
"You looked really tense," he added softly.
"So I thought I should ask.... what happened?"
I glanced at him briefly.
"You already know," I said quietly.
"My academics."
I paused before continuing.
"My parents aren't happy with my marks... and honestly, neither am I."
"I'm trying.... but it's just not enough."
For a moment, he didn't say anything. I could feel his gaze on me, like he was actually thinking about my words. "I think you're overthinking it," he said finally.
I frowned slightly.
"Overthinking?"
"Yeah," he replied calmly.
"You need break from all of this."
I looked at him.
"A break?"
He nodded.
"Distract yourself," he said.
" Do something you enjoy... for once."
I let out a small breath.
"And how am I supposed to do that?"
A faint smile appeared on his lips.
"Come to a party with me."
I blinked.
"A party?"
"Yeah," he said.
"I was going alone anyway."
"But... you can come with me."
For a moment, I just stared at him. Then suddenly, all the thoughts I had about him earlier came rushing back..... the way I got nervous around him. My heart start beating faster again, and I quickly looked away.
I didn't say anything. I was too busy arguing with myself.
Should I go... or not?
"You okay?" he asked.
I stayed silent.
He looked at me for a moment, then asked again, more directly this time...
"Will you come?"