The carefree days of summer break, once filled with the simple joys of high school life, began to fade as September gave way to October. With the crisp autumn air came a subtle but undeniable shift—we couldn't afford to be so reckless anymore. We were already bracing for the midterms, just three weeks away, but the single sheet of paper that landed on my desk was an entirely different kind of challenge.
[Career Path Survey]
We had filled one out in our first year, but that was a simpler affair, mostly to decide between the liberal arts and science tracks. This one was far more demanding, with questions that looked deeper into our futures.
・University of choice. (Up to three choices)
・Is there a profession you want to pursue in the future? (Be as specific as possible)
Though we still had our third year to make changes, there was value in mapping out our futures early. Some universities offered entrance exams with only two or three subjects, and strong grades could open the door to recommendation-based admissions. A palpable sense of seriousness settled over the after-school homeroom, a silent acknowledgment that the future was no longer a distant concept.
"You have until the end of next week," our teacher announced, "so make sure you discuss this thoroughly with your parents. And just so you know, we'll be reviewing these alongside your midterm results."
The weight of her words was amplified by the looming parent-teacher meetings scheduled for after the exams. Our parents would be here, at the school, sitting down with us to review our career surveys, test scores, and mock university entrance exam results. These meetings were notorious for reshaping futures—discussions could lead to changing one's desired university or, in some cases, even switching between the arts and sciences. For students with less-than-stellar academic records, it was a dreaded affair. The only silver lining was that classes ended in the morning during the parent-teacher meetings unless it was your turn.
"Career path, huh…" I mumbled to myself, staring at the form. I had until next week to fill in the blanks, but honestly, I was completely at a loss.
My first choice was already set in stone, for a number of reasons. K University, a national university in our prefecture, was one of the most prestigious institutions in the country. Our school celebrated every student who managed to get in; it was such a monumental achievement that only one or two from our entire grade could ever hope to pass. The cutoff was unforgivingly high, typically reserved for students ranked within the top ten. It was a level where even top students like Nakamura-san or Umi would be teetering on the edge of failure.
The freedom Umi and I enjoyed in our relationship was largely because we had kept our promise to Sora-san to "keep our grades high enough for our target universities." Had our academics slipped, she would have likely still approved of us being together, but late nights at my place and the overnight trips we took during summer break would have been off the table. Freedom, we understood, came with responsibility. We liked to think we had been mature enough to consider that before we started dating.
"Hey, Yama-chan, Nagi-chan, have you guys figured out your schools yet?" a voice chirped. "I've never really thought about it, so I have no idea what to write."
"I'm thinking a vocational school, maybe~" Yamashita-san replied. "I'm kinda interested in fashion. What about you, Nagi-chan?"
"I don't really… wait, hey Yama, are you calling me Nagi-chan?" Arae-san shot back.
"Yup! 'Cause you're Nagisa-chan, so Nagi-chan. If you don't like it, I've got other nicknames, y'know."
"…Do whatever you want."
"Alright, Yama-chan! Then, I'll start copying you and—"
"Not you," Arae-san cut her off.
"Ehh~"
"It's not 'Ehh~,' it's not."
The lively trio from Class 10—Amami-san and her friends—were as energetic as ever. It seemed only Yamashita-san had a clear goal in mind. Arae-san's grades were solid, so university was the natural choice for her. The real wild card, as usual, was Amami-san.
As homeroom ended and students began to file out, she trotted over to my desk. "What about you, Maki-kun? Got your career survey figured out?"
"Only my first choice. The rest is a complete blank."
"Fufu, then you're just like me." We held up our nearly empty forms and shared a bitter smile. Umi, Nitta-san, and Nozomu were probably in the same boat.
"Ah! Hey, hey, Maki-kun, any plans after this? Besides Umi, I mean."
"No work… and nothing special really. Just trying to figure out what to do with this thing, I guess."
"Right?! I just had a brilliant idea! Why don't we fill out our career surveys for each other?"
"…You mean, I'd come up with what to put on yours and Umi's, and you'd do the same for us?"
"Exactly! Ehehe, I knew you'd get it, Maki-kun~"
Entrusting my future to someone else was hardly a commendable idea, but getting an objective, third-party opinion for reference… it wasn't the worst thought. Your own ambitions are crucial, of course, but not everyone's life unfolds exactly as planned. Sometimes, an outside perspective can open up possibilities you never considered.
…Then again, Amami-san probably hadn't thought it through that deeply.
"Alright then," I said, seizing the opportunity. "We've got a study session this weekend. Why don't we work on it then? If we get a clearer picture of our futures, it might even change how we approach studying."
"…"
"…Amami-san?"
Her mouth hung open, her expression frozen in shock. It was clear this was just a spur-of-the-moment idea for her. Having already proposed it with such enthusiasm, backing out of the study session now would be emotionally impossible. She had dug her own grave, a classic Amami-san move.
"…Umm, it's not too late to back out, you know," I offered.
"I-I'm fine! I don't go back on my word! You can tell Umi I'm in!"
"Nitta-san, too?"
"Ugh… yeah."
"Really? Well, I won't hesitate then…"
Before she could change her mind, I sent a quick message to Umi, letting her know Amami-san was secured for the weekend.
(Asanagi) Well done, Maki.
(Asanagi) Fufu, what should I do with that Yuu…?
(Maehara) It's at my house, so if you could keep it on the tamer side, that'd be great…
I also roped in Nozomu and Nitta-san, and they agreed to leave their forms blank until our meeting. It was a spontaneous plan, but having a topic other than academics might make it easier for Amami-san and Nitta-san to finally talk. I hoped, even just a little, that this weekend could help mend their strained relationship.
…This is bad. What in the world am I doing?
I knew about the study session this weekend, and I was planning on sitting this one out. It's not that I hate studying—I just can't stand doing it alone. I love our group sessions, where we can ask each other questions, share tips, and take snack breaks together. Those gatherings, which started last fall with our usual group of five, have become indispensable. It's not just about my grades; that time spent with my friends is precious.
But it's not like that anymore. I can feel the atmosphere turn sour just by being there. I feel a wave of guilt watch over me the moment Umi or Maki-kun look at me with concern. I know I need to make up with Nina-chi. She's usually so reserved, never prying into other people's problems, but this time, she's not backing down. She's confronting me head-on.
I still remember that night at the fireworks festival, when she approached me with an uncharacteristically serious expression saying "There's something I want to talk about."
—"Yuu-chin, you need to value yourself more. Why do you hold back so much? It doesn't matter who it is; it's not wrong to fall in love!"
I understand what she was trying to say. Not long ago, I felt the same way—that love is a beautiful thing, too precious to suppress. That's why I've always treated every confession I've received with respect, even when I had to turn them down. It felt like the minimum courtesy I could show someone who had feelings for me.
…But this is different.
"…This is the one thing I have to hold back. Even if it's obvious to everyone, I can't ever say these feelings out loud."
If Nina-chi noticed, then my best friend almost certainly has, too. Maybe everyone already knows. But if I can just keep it from spilling out, if I never say that one decisive word to him, and to her, we can stay as we are—good friends. I'm sure they would be kind enough to let it be.
My precious best friend, and the person she treasures most in the world. An important friend to me. The thought of that relationship shattering is unbearably terrifying.
…And yet, whenever I see him, I can't help but want to talk to him. He probably sees me as 'just a friend,' and his dismissive attitude is something I've never experienced from a boy before, which makes it refreshingly fun. 'Just a little longer,' I tell myself, but I always get carried away, stepping over the line I swore I wouldn't cross. In those moments, I start to hate my own cheerful personality.
It wasn't a problem before. He was 'my best friend's boyfriend,' and I was 'his girlfriend's best friend.' There were no other feelings involved. But not anymore. I'm the one who's become unilaterally conscious of him. If that happens, my best friend will never forgive me. If I act on these feelings, knowing full well what they are…
—"We'll stop being friends, or something."
The moment those words slipped from her mouth, my heart stopped. She tried to play it off as a 'joke,' but as her best friend, I knew.
I knew she meant every word. That's how irreplaceable he had become to her. In just one year, he had surpassed me, her best friend of so much longer.
At first, I was a little jealous watching her become so engrossed in him. I even wondered if he was truly worth all that passion. But now, having become his 'friend,' I get it. The more time I spend with him, the more I see the charms I hadn't noticed before, and I find myself drawn in. Before I knew it, my feelings had grown to a point where turning back was no longer an option.
I love the time the five of us spend together more than anything. Me, Umi, Nina-chi, Seki-kun… and Maki-kun. I want us to stay friends, even after we graduate. I don't want to break that. That's why I have to suppress these feelings, somehow forget them.
…And yet. What in the world am I doing?
…What is it that I really want?
That Friday, the five of us gathered after school as planned. We made our usual stop at the convenience store for snacks and drinks before heading to my house, our designated study spot. The last time we'd all done this was back in early July, before the first semester's final exams. It had been nearly two and a half months.
Our official plan was to prep for mid-terms and tackle the career surveys, but I had another goal in mind: sorting out the tension between Nitta-san and Amami-san.
"Hey, Asanagi, decided on your future dream? To be the class rep's bride?" Nitta-san teased.
"F-u-r-t-h-e-r E-d-u-c-a-t-i-o-n," Umi spelled out. "And what about you?"
"To become a rich, handsome guy's girlfriend and live a life of luxury… just kidding. Probably further education, too. My part-time job offered me a full-time position after graduation, but I still want to have a little more fun."
"University is for studying," Umi retorted. "What about you, Yuu? Did you talk with your aunt and uncle?"
"Yeah, sort of… With my grades, it'd have to be a vocational school. Or maybe a job at a company my mom knows," Amami-san said.
"Connections? That's our Yuu-chin, I'm so jealous! Since it's Eri-san's acquaintance, it must be an entertainment agency, right?" Nitta-san pressed.
"Eh? Ah, u-uhm. It's an agency my mom used to be with. They asked if I'd be interested in working behind the scenes—"
"Behind the scenes? You could totally make it on stage, Yuu-chin! You're so cute, you could debut as an idol. Right, Asanagi?"
"Don't ask me… It's not an easy world. It'd probably be difficult, even for Yuu," Umi answered thoughtfully.
"Really? I think she could totally do it…"
"Ah, ahaha… geez, Nina-chi, you're such a flatterer."
"…"
"…"
Since the incident at the outlet mall, they had been trying to act normal around the rest of us, likely to keep us from worrying. But their conversations were strained, held together only by Umi's careful mediation. The moment a topic died down, things went silent. It was as if their over-cautiousness was only making things worse.
Nozomu nudged me. (H-Hey, Maki.)
(…Yeah.)
(Can we really have a study session like this?)
(It's not a matter of 'can we,' but 'we have to.')
A lingering awkwardness followed us into the Maehara family living room. My mom had left for work later than us, leaving the room in its usual state of slight disarray, but no one paid it any mind. We placed our career surveys on the table, all blank except for our names, and decided to tackle them before diving into exam prep.
"Ah, so the class rep is also aiming for K University," Nitta-san observed, looking at my form. "And your future dream is to marry into a family."
"I haven't decided whether I'll be the one marrying in… I mean, I'm hoping to be a civil servant. I hear some departments are demanding, but at least it's stable."
"So uptight~ …Well, that's very you, class rep. And Asanagi's is… eh, seriously? A teacher? A school teacher? Asanagi?"
"…What? Is it that surprising?" Umi asked, a little defensively.
It was the first I'd heard of it, too. She had probably just written it down as a placeholder, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to fit. Amami-san apparently agreed, nodding enthusiastically.
"A school teacher! Umi, that's a great goal for you! You're patient enough to teach a slacker like me, and your explanations are super easy to understand."
"Y-You think so…? What do you think, Maki?"
"Yeah, I think it's a good idea, too," I said. "I'd kinda like to see you standing at the teacher's podium."
"R-Really? Well, I guess I'll put that down for now… ehehe."
Our homeroom teacher, Yagisawa-sensei, often vented about her job, so I knew it was tough. But it was a necessary and rewarding profession. Suddenly, my own vague answer of "civil servant" felt a bit embarrassing.
"The class rep is a civil servant, and Asanagi is a teacher… huh. And Seki," Nitta-san said, turning to Nozomu, "you just erased it, but it said professional baseball player, right?"
"! H-Hey, when did you see that…?"
"Heeh. So you're aiming for the pros after all, Nozomu," I chimed in. It was a perfectly Nozomu-like answer from the resident baseball idiot (a term of endearment, of course), and I thought it was a great goal.
"…It's fine, you can laugh," he muttered.
"I won't laugh. It's a great dream." The path to becoming a pro was incredibly difficult, but those of us who only considered realistic options had no right to mock his ambition. You can't achieve something you don't even dare to dream of.
"Maki-kun is right, No… Nozomu-kun!" Amami-san declared. "You should just prove everyone who makes fun of other people's dreams wrong. Right, Nina-chi?"
"I'm not making fun of him. Sorry if I teased you a little," Nitta-san clarified.
"Nitta, you… W-Well, if you all say so, I guess I'll leave it as is—" Just as he steeled himself to write it down again, his body went rigid.
"Oh, what's wrong? Nozomu-kun, are you okay?" Amami-san asked, waving a hand in front of his face. He just blushed and remained frozen. "Everyone, what should we do? Nozomu-kun isn't moving."
"…Yeah, but before that, Yuu-chin," Nitta-san pointed out, "you just called Seki 'Nozomu-kun'—"
"Eh? W-Was that weird? It's Umi, Nina-chi, and then Maki-kun, right? So I thought it'd be strange not to call Seki-kun by his first name too…"
Her reasoning was sound, though the suddenness of it caught me off guard. Amami-san and Nozomu's relationship had started with her rejecting him, so she had always maintained a certain distance. But as they spent more time together as friends, that initial caution had faded. For Nozomu, who still liked her, hearing her say 'Nozomu-kun' must have been the happiest moment of his life.
"…S-Sorry, Amami-san," he finally managed. "It was so sudden, my brain couldn't keep up."
"Ah, Nozomu-kun's back. …Umm, was it really that surprising?" she asked, tilting her head. If anything, Nozomu's reaction was the more natural one. The shift from a last name to a first name—from Maehara to Maki—was a significant step. Umi and I had gone through the same phase, and the ticklish joy of hearing someone you like call you by your first name is a special kind of magic. It's a clear sign that your friendship has leveled up.
Of course, Amami-san also called me 'Maki-kun,' so for her, it might have just meant he'd been promoted to the broad category of 'good friends.' Still, for Nozomu, it was a massive step forward.
"I'm happy for you, Nozomu," I said with a smile.
"Eh? Ah, yeah, thanks. I've been worried since Christmas that I made her feel awkward… so this is a relief." Even as he said it, he was nudging me under the table, clearly overjoyed. This one moment would probably sustain him for a while.
Amidst the heartwarming scene, however, Nitta-san was staring at Amami-san with pure exasperation. "…I really don't get you."
"Nitta-san? Did you say something?"
"Nothing. Come on, let's start studying. I'm in deep trouble this time, so I need to show my parents I'm trying."
"…Nina, you should try hard every time. You can do it if you put your mind to it," Umi advised.
"If it were that easy, I wouldn't be struggling!"
"Don't say that so proudly," Umi sighed.
The study session that followed was surprisingly productive, and as the designated tutor, I was satisfied. But in the hours that passed until everyone left, Nitta-san and Amami-san didn't exchange a single word. They didn't even make eye contact.
Later, as Umi and I were cleaning up, I muttered, "…It's gotten worse, hasn't it?"
"Yeah… It's like quicksand."
They both wanted to fix things, to go back to how they were, but the more they struggled, the deeper the rift between them grew, pulling the rest of us down with them. All we could do was wait for an opportunity, acting like the sickeningly lovey-dovey couple everyone was tired of. But with two of our closest friends suffering, neither of us could bring ourselves to be so carefree.
From that day on, we solely spent less time together as a group to the point where we were mostly on our own. Umi and I were the same as ever—she'd come to my house early in the morning, and we'd chat until it was time for school, sometimes getting a little too affectionate and waking up my mom after her night shift. But the moment we stepped outside, reality would come crashing back.
"…Umi, have you heard from Amami-san or Nitta-san?"
"Yuu just said 'sorry.' I haven't heard from Nina at all."
"I see… it's getting worse."
The four of us—excluding Nozomu, who had morning practice—used to walk to school together, but for the past few weeks, it had just been Umi and me. At first, they both had plausible excuses: a promise with another classmate, class duty, always ending their messages with 'sorry' or 'I'll go with you next time.' And then, nothing.
Last week, out of frustration, we tried picking them up ourselves. We went to Amami-san's house early, then the three of us went to Nitta-san's. They came with us without a word, but the heavy, suffocating atmosphere was something I couldn't easily forget. They were both normal enough around Umi and me individually, but as a group, things were falling apart.
I pulled out my phone and sent a message to our group chat.
(Maehara) Good morning.
(Asanagi) Morning.
(Asanagi) …But I'm right next to you.
(Seki) Good work, you two, bright and early.
(Maehara) Morning, Nozomu.
(Asanagi) Yo.
(Asanagi) I haven't been able to help you study lately, are you doing okay?
(Seki) Well, so-so.
(Seki) Thanks to you guys, I'm starting to understand the lessons a bit more.
(Maehara) So, does that mean you don't need us anymore?
(Maehara) I'm happy for you, but it's also a little sad.
(Asanagi) Congratulations on your graduation.
(Seki) Hey, hey, I need you to look after me until we graduate high school.
(Seki) C'mon, we're friends, right?
(Asanagi) Is that so, Maki?
(Maehara) Well…
(Seki) So mean.
(Maehara) It's okay. As long as we have time, we'll always help you out.
(Maehara) At least, until the mid-terms, which should be starting today, are over.
(Seki) Yeah. Thanks.
(Seki) Well then, see you after school.
(Maehara) Yup. Let's both do our best.
(Asanagi) Later.
The chat room, once a lively space for the five of us, had gone quiet. Only Nozomu consistently replied; the other two didn't even mark the messages as read anymore. They weren't on bad terms with us, so why were they distancing themselves from the group? Was it a misguided attempt at fairness—that if they couldn't get along with each other, they shouldn't get along with any of us? If so, they were both far too kind and serious for their own good.
Since we were still in the same class, Amami-san would talk to me normally during school, but she was growing distant from Umi and Nitta-san. Today, she arrived alone, just before the bell. Normally, she'd be a mess, having overslept, but today she was neat and composed, as if she had timed her arrival perfectly to avoid us.
"Good morning, Amami-san," I said as she passed my desk.
"! Ah, um… yeah, morning, Maki-kun. Sorry, I was up late studying, so I'm a bit late."
"I see. …I couldn't help you much, but do you think you'll manage?"
"Yeah. I asked Umi for help with the stuff I didn't get, and my dad helped me out too."
It was a perfectly normal conversation, but it felt completely off. It might be rude to say, but she was being too serious. Her usual playfulness was gone. "Up late studying," "my dad helped me out"—these weren't phrases one would normally hear from the die-hard study-hater, Amami-san. I didn't think she was lying, but her usual story would have been more like:
'Eeehn, what do I do, Maki-kun~! I tried to pull an all-nighter, but I fell asleep memorizing English vocabulary~!'
'By the time I realized it, it was already morning, but I begged my dad for help and managed to do some last-minute cramming.'
That was her typical M.O. Of course, our recent talk about our futures could have inspired her to change, and that was commendable. But was this really the right way to go about it?
"Well, the teacher will be here soon, so I'll go back to my seat," she said, cutting the conversation short.
"Ah, okay. Let's both do our best on the test."
"…Yeah." She offered a lonely smile and returned to her seat.
I thought I was acting normally, just a friend concerned for another. Why did it feel like the gap between us was only widening? Seeing her happily chatting with her new friends, Yamashita-san and Arae-san, it felt like we had rewound time, back to when we barely knew each other.
"Yuu-chan, morning~" Yamashita-san chirped. "The parent-teacher meetings are coming up. Have you picked a school? You're going to college, right?"
"Eh? Ah, u-uhm. I guess… ehehe."
"Oh? That's sounded very suggestive. Where? Could it be F University, same as Nagi-chan?"
"…Yama, don't just leak people's personal information," Arae-san grumbled.
"Eh? You told me so readily, I just assumed it was public knowledge—Mmph!"
"…Not another word."
"Nfufu~, Nagisa-chan, you're not very honest, are you~ So, what's your dream? You like animals, so maybe a vet? F University has a veterinary school, right?"
"…What about you?"
"Ehehe~ as for me~…" As her friends waited expectantly, Amami-san smiled apologetically and said, "…It's a secret~"
"…Oi, Amami, I'm gonna beat you up. No, seriously. Today's the day. Grit your teeth."
"N-Now, now, Nagi-chan, the teacher's looking this way, so let's calm down," Yamashita-san mediated.
The morning bell rang, and Yagisawa-sensei's arrival put a temporary stop to their lively banter, but one thing stuck with me. We had all discussed our future paths the other day. How did Amami-san end up submitting her form? She hadn't revealed her plans to Umi, Nitta-san, or me.
The two-day midterms ended without a hitch, at least for me. But as they say, it's always one thing after another. The restless days continued, with the parent-teacher meetings fast approaching. Each conference was scheduled for thirty minutes—was that 'only' thirty minutes, or 'as long as' thirty minutes? It depended on your perspective, but for me, it was never a comfortable experience.
The schedule was based on the preferences we submitted with our career surveys, and I was slated for an early slot on the first day. Yagisawa-sensei had arranged the time slots with a clear intention:
(First half X:00 – X:30 Students below class average)
(Second half X:30 – Y:00 Students above class average)
She was front-loading the students who would likely need more time, leaving the less problematic cases for the second half to keep things on schedule. It was Umi, not me, who first pointed this out.
(Maehara) I see, so that's why Amami-san and I are on the same day at the same time.
(Asanagi) Yeah. Yuu's rank is way below the class average, and you're at the top, right? With your current grades, neither the teacher nor Masaki-obasan will have anything to complain about.
(Maehara) You think? Well, I am trying hard enough not to give them anything to say.
The final mid-term rankings hadn't been posted yet, but my scores were solid, so I was confident. The only point of contention would be my university choice—I had only listed K University, since I wanted to go to the same school as Umi, even if it meant becoming a ronin. I had already discussed this with my mom, so Yagisawa-sensei shouldn't press the issue too hard.
Incidentally, Umi's conference was scheduled for around the same time as mine and Amami-san's, which meant our three mothers would be at the school at the same time. I doubted a coincidence like the one at the outlet mall would happen again, and a parent-teacher conference wasn't exactly the place for a casual chat. My mom had also mentioned she could only take a few hours off before heading back to work. Nitta-san and Nozomu's parents had conflicting schedules, so they were going at a separate time.
After my exchange with Umi, I put my phone away and turned my attention back to Yagisawa-sensei, who was explaining that some students had submitted incomplete career surveys.
"—And so, the students whose names I'm about to call should come to the staff room immediately to pick them up. You'll resubmit them at your conferences, so for those of you who just scribbled something down, please consult with your parents again."
She then read out a list of names—mostly underperforming male students, as expected. But at the very end, she called out a single girl's name.
"—and, Amami-san."
"…Y-Yes."
The entire class turned to look at her. I was surprised; I had assumed she'd filled it out properly after her chat with Yamashita-san and Arae-san. I knew she wouldn't joke about something so important. Her shoulders slumped as if she'd been expecting it. Her friends, sitting in front of and behind her, looked just as shocked as I was.
After the teacher left, Yamashita-san turned to a dispirited Amami-san. "…Yuu-chan, um, are you okay?"
"Eh? Ah, y-yeah, I'm totally fine. I thought I wrote it properly, but maybe it looked like I was joking… or something, ahaha."
Seeing her force a cheerful act, Arae-san, sitting behind her, frowned. She wasn't as openly concerned as Yamashita-san, but she was clearly worried. The proof was in the glare she had been directing at me for the past few minutes. I shook my head silently, trying to tell her that I knew nothing.
"Umm… so yeah, I have to go to the teacher's office. See you later, Yama-chan, Nagisa-chan."
"! Yuu-chan, wait a sec…" Yamashita-san reached out, but a hand from behind stopped her.
"…Yama, not now."
"Nagi-chan… but."
"It's fine. …Let's go home."
"O-Okay…"
Arae-san gently patted Yamashita-san's shoulder, urging her to leave. She could be prickly with Amami-san, but with her gone, she slipped into her reliable, big-sister role. She had become the shadow leader of Class 10—though there was no public leader to begin with.
"…Oi, Maehara."
"? Arae-san, what is it?"
"…Nah, nothing."
She said "nothing," but her expression screamed, "I'm leaving Amami to you." I didn't mind helping, but I wished she would just say so. Then again, that would probably earn me a death glare, so I simply nodded in understanding.
"—Hey Maki~ I'm done too, so let's go home together… ack."
"…Asanagi Umi."
"And you're Arae Nagisa…"
With the worst possible timing, Umi arrived at our classroom and ran straight into Arae-san. Their mutual dislike was common knowledge, and a tense silence fell over the remaining students. But perhaps because of the situation with Amami-san, Arae-san's reaction was brief.
"…You know, I'm trying to go home, so I'd appreciate it if you moved."
"Eh? Ah, yeah, sure. Go ahead…"
"Thanks. Oi, Yama, let's go."
"Ah, yes—Well then, Maehara-kun, see you," Yamashita-san said, adding quietly, "…Please take care of Yuu-chan."
"Yeah. I'll go check on her in the staff room now."
"Thanks. Well, see you tomorrow."
As I stood there watching Umi tilt her head in confusion, Arae-san departed with Yamashita-san in tow, leaving us behind. Umi, still oblivious to the situation, could only stare blankly after them as they walked away.
"…Hey, Maki, what was that all about?"
"This isn't the right place to talk. Let's head out," I suggested.
Leaving the classroom a moment after Arae-san's group, Umi and I made our way not toward the shoe lockers, but to the faculty office where Amami-san had likely gone. As we walked, I explained what had just transpired. Umi's expression soured, mirroring Arae-san's from earlier.
"…Honestly, what is she thinking?" she muttered.
"You don't have any idea either, Umi?"
"Not a clue… Yuu's been really secretive lately. It's not just with me, but with Sanae and Manaka, too."
Umi, worried about Amami-san, had apparently been trying to get in touch with her secretly, without telling me or Nitta-san. The four childhood friends, along with Nitori-san and Houjou-san, would sometimes get together, but it seemed Amami-san wasn't enjoying herself like she used to. What had started as a simple disagreement with Nitta-san was now causing friction everywhere.
"…We're about to see her, but what should I even say to Yuu? I… I really don't know what to do."
"Just say what you feel, Umi," I advised. "If you're frustrated, tell her. If you're pissed off, then let her know you're angry."
"…You think so? What if we get into a fight?"
"And what if you do? The student council room is near the faculty office. We can ask Nakamura-san and Takizawa-kun to clear the area if things get heated."
"…We have had a few situations like that, haven't we?" she recalled with a weak smile.
I wasn't trying to encourage a fight, but some things can't be resolved with careful words alone. If Umi got into another argument here, the five of us would truly be a mess. But I had a sinking feeling that even if she just stood by and watched, the outcome would be the same. It was about time for things to come to a head.
"Umi, want me to hold your hand?"
"No, I'm okay," she said, her voice firm. "Just watch my back."
As we neared the faculty office, the door opened and Amami-san stepped out, having just finished her business. "Excuse me," she murmured, her voice so faint and listless it was barely audible as she gave a slight bow.
"…Yuu."
"! Umi, and Maki-kun, too…"
"Amami-san, we came to get you," I said gently. "Let's go home together."
"…" The usual Amami-san would have chirped, "Yeah, let's go!" but she just kept her head down, avoiding our eyes.
"…Sorry. I think I want to go home alone today." Squeezing out the words, she tried to slip past us.
Of course, we weren't about to just let her go.
"Hey, Yuu."
"…"
"We best friends aren't we? Or was I the only one who thought so?"
"…"
"Remember? You said the exact same thing to me last year, Yuu. We promised we'd stop doing this. You said so yourself, and we made up. Was that all a lie?"
"That's… It wasn't a lie, but…"
"Then tell me what's wrong. I'm not saying you have to tell everyone. Just me… or if that's too hard, talk to Maki, Sanae, Manaka—anyone. I don't want to hear it secondhand from Nina. I want to hear it from you, Yuu."
"Umi…"
"Please, Yuu."
"…"
For a fleeting moment, Amami-san's face turned toward us, but she quickly looked away again and shook her head. "…I'm sorry. I appreciate you worrying about me… but I really can't say it. I don't want to say it."
"! Yuu…"
The very words that had driven a wedge between Umi and Amami-san last fall were now coming from Amami-san herself.
"So, I'm sorry. Let me go home alone today… Just a little longer. If you wait, I'm sure I can go back to how I was. I'll make it happen."
"Amami-san…"
"Well, bye-bye, you two."
With that, Amami-san shook off our outstretched hands and, this time, truly walked away. After her "bye-bye," I thought I heard her mutter something else, but the surrounding noise and the chime drowned it out. Neither of us caught it.
"'Wait a little longer'…? Is waiting really going to fix anything? …Are you honestly okay with that?" Umi said, her voice tight with frustration.
"…Umi."
"Maki, the tests are over. You wanna go to the arcade or something? Go sing karaoke? I need to blow off some steam… If I don't, I don't think I can calm down."
"Yeah. If you're okay with me, I'll hang out as long as you want."
"…Yeah." The word "thanks" was a quiet breath as Umi squeezed my hand tightly. She was clearly drained from this whole ordeal, and I knew I had to take care of her.
Unlike last year, Umi has me now. I'll stay by her side, hold her when she's down, and tell her it's going to be okay. It's what she did for me all last winter (and still does, sometimes). It was my turn to do the same for her. For now, that would be enough for Umi.
…But what about Amami-san?
She has plenty of friends besides us. In our class, there are people like Yamashita-san and Arae-san. Outside of school, she has Nitori-san and Houjou-san. And from what I've seen, her parents seem like they'd listen to her problems without judgment. Yet, Amami-san was pushing them all away, determined to carry this burden alone.
Her feelings always show on her face, so practically everyone must have noticed something was wrong. And they're all worried. They all want to cheer her up, even just a little, to help her solve whatever is troubling her. Everyone has been saved at least once by Amami-san's boundless, sometimes blinding, brightness.
But despite all that, the person herself doesn't want any help.
…Is there really nothing else I can do?
Walking home with Umi, my mind replayed the moment Amami-san left. I thought about the words she'd muttered. I couldn't hear them clearly, but I could guess from the movement of her lips. I remembered hearing something similar from someone else last year.
──I'm sorry, Umi. I'm a terrible person.
It seemed there were still hurdles to overcome before we could understand her true feelings.
With the issues surrounding Amami-san—her relationship with Nitta-san, the career survey, and now a new crack forming with Umi—left unresolved, the day of the parent-teacher meetings arrived.
Classes in the morning were normal, but in the afternoon, the school was filled with a strange atmosphere. Some club activities were canceled for the interviews, creating a unique mix of holiday quietness and the tense energy of students facing their futures. We'd had three-way interviews in middle school, but those were mostly about high school entrance exams. These sometimes involved discussions about employment, so Yagisawa-sensei was dressed in a sharp suit she rarely wore, checking her watch frequently.
"Amami-san, I'll be waiting in the classroom. When your parents arrive, please come in together. After your interview, could you guide the next person, Maehara-kun?"
"Y-Yes!"
And so, only Amami-san and I were left in the hallway. Umi had been with us until a moment ago, but a notice had warned students not to wait more than thirty minutes before their scheduled time to avoid congestion. She had gone home for a bit and would be coming back by car with Sora-san. Afterward, I was going to go home with them and have dinner together.
"…"
"…"
We sat on the chairs placed outside the classroom, waiting for our parents, the silence between us heavy and awkward. We'd spoken alone a few times before, but things were different now.
"Um, Amami-san."
"…W-What?"
"Eri-san is running a little late, isn't she?"
"Y-Yeah. She's usually early… I wonder if she's stuck in traffic."
"Y-Yeah, maybe."
"…"
"…"
I don't think I've ever wished for someone—anyone—to show up more desperately than I did in that moment. This could have been a good opportunity to press her for answers, but I wasn't sure if I should do that on my own, which made it difficult to bring anything up.
"…Maki-kun, aren't you going to ask?"
"Huh?"
"About the career survey… you know, mine."
"…Is it okay if I ask?"
"Well, it's going to come out soon enough anyway… My mom gets pretty loud when she's lecturing me."
"Ah, so that's how it is…" If she was already admitting that, her interview was likely to run long. I made a mental note to quietly warn my mom.
"You couldn't fill out the survey?"
"…Ehehe."
"Not a single part?"
"…Yeah. I could have just written down some junior college or vocational school I could get into with my grades… but I didn't want to do that. I just wrote 'nothing in particular'."
"I see." That sounded just like the clumsy and honest Amami-san I knew. But even Yagisawa-sensei wouldn't let "nothing in particular" slide. I thought I might finally be able to ask her why, but the moment was cut short.
I saw Eri-san walking down the hall at a brisk pace, her characteristic long, flaxen hair swaying behind her.
…And for some reason, my mom was with her.
"! Mom, you're cutting it close."
"Sorry, Yuu. I got to the parking earlier, but I ran into Masaki-san and we started talking. Right?"
"Yes. We were just reminiscing about old times… Anyway, I apologize for the trouble."
"Old times…? A-Anyway, it's time, we have to go in. The teacher is waiting."
"You're right. Maki-kun, Masaki-san, we'll see you later."
The Amami mother-daughter duo rushed into the classroom where Yagisawa-sensei was waiting, and just like that, the first day of the parent-teacher meetings began.
"Hey, Maki. It's been a while since we've been at school together like this," my mom said, a nostalgic smile on her face.
"Since middle school, I guess… You two seemed to be having a lively chat. What were you talking about with Eri-san?"
"Like I said, old times. Specifically, before Eri-san was married."
"Ah… I think she was a model or something, right?"
"That's right. When I saw her at the outlet mall the other day, I kept thinking, 'She looks so familiar.' When I had some free time, I rummaged through some old materials in the company's reference room… and look at this."
"…Yeah, that's definitely Eri-san."
The woman on the cover of the fashion magazine my mom pulled from her bag was unmistakably a younger Eri-san. "Erie" must have been her stage name. Other than her hair color, her features were strikingly similar to Amami-san's.
"…She's beautiful. Both beautiful and cool."
"Right? I think so too. She was being modest, saying things like, 'There are plenty of girls like that.'"
Family bias aside, the Eri-san on the cover looked as radiant as any active celebrity. According to my mom, however, her career hadn't gone smoothly. She retired from modeling and television after meeting Amami-san's father, Hayato-san. In that case, Eri-san must have been happy to meet my mom, who knew—or had at least looked up—her past. She must have had her own struggles back then, so surely she could understand how Amami-san felt now, unable to envision her own future.
"…"
"────"
"…"
I couldn't hear their conversation clearly, but I wondered what the three of them were discussing on the other side of the door. About ten minutes had passed since Amami-san's interview began. So far, it was quiet; no sign of the "lecture" she'd mentioned. Her midterm scores weren't that bad either (I asked), so it seemed her worries had been unfounded.
Well, before worrying about her, I needed to worry about myself.
"Maki, just to be sure, you're really set on K University, and only K University, right? No backup?"
"Yeah. There's no point in going to a different university from Umi."
There were plenty of great public and private universities, even just a step down from K university. Yagisawa-sensei would undoubtedly suggest I apply to them, and I understood that. Even considering the professions I was interested in, there was no logical reason to be so fixated on a difficult national university like K.
But we had our reasons.
"Hey, Mom."
"What? You look unusually serious."
"I like to think I'm always serious… Anyway, if I get into K University straight away, there's one thing I'd like to ask of you──"
"No."
"Wha… I haven't even said anything yet."
"Because I know exactly what you're thinking… Hey, Sora-san, don't you think so too?"
"Huh? Sora-san?"
My mom mouthed "behind you" and pointed. I turned to look.
"──Hello, Maki-kun. You seem to be having an interesting conversation."
"…Maki, you idiot."
Sora-san was waving at me with a smile. Next to her stood Umi, her face bright red as she averted her gaze.
"Um… how long have you two been there?"
"Hehe, just a moment… So? What is it that you want to ask us if you two get into K University?"
"Ah~… um, well~…"
I had planned to gently bring it up with my mom first, but the situation had changed. This concerned my future with Umi, and we had planned to tell them by the end of the year at the latest… but springing it on them here, while waiting for our interviews, felt a bit out of place.
…Also, it seemed they had already figured us out.
"…Let's just talk about it over dinner tonight."
"Very well. Umi, is that all right with you?"
"…Well, I'm just going to follow Maki," she mumbled.
Umi's words had pretty much given away the answer, but this wasn't something we could be half-hearted about. The timeline had moved up, but maybe it was better to tell them while our moms were willing to listen. Just like during our trip, we didn't expect them to agree right away.
After that, we waited quietly for our turn. It had been nearly thirty minutes since Amami-san's interview started—it should have been my turn by now.
"…Eri-san and the others are a little late."
"Yeah. Looks like it's taking a while."
One minute, then two, past schedule. My mom, ever the professional, started to fidget, a habit from her work life. In contrast to our Class 10, which was already behind schedule, the interviews for the neighboring Class 11, filled with top students, were proceeding smoothly.
"──Asanagi-san, you're next, please."
"Ah, yes──Mom, is it okay if we go a little early?"
"Yeah. Oh, but let me just use the restroom first…"
My interview was supposed to be first, but it seemed Umi's would be starting early. The delay was making even my mom antsy.
──Hey, stop Yuu! Wait!
──Amami-san!
Just as I thought I heard Eri-san and Yagisawa-sensei's raised voices from the classroom, the door burst open. Amami-san shot out, ignoring their calls for her to stop, and tried to run off.
…I wonder if they were hard on her about her future. She should have been prepared for it, but being scolded alone in a large classroom is a different kind of pressure. Maybe it hit her harder than she expected.
It all happened so fast I couldn't quite grasp the situation, but I had a bad feeling about letting her go alone.
"Amami-san!"
"Yuu!"
"Tch…!"
Reacting to our voices, Amami-san's feet seemed to turn toward us for a second, but she immediately changed her mind and spun around.
"…Sorry, I'm going to go cool my head for a bit."
With that, she brushed past us and ran off at an incredible speed.
"That idiot… Maki, what should we do? I want to go after her, but our interviews…"
Normally, we would have chased after her without a second thought, but our turns were up. The person after me would be here soon, and the teachers would want to avoid any major delays. The logical choice was to wait until after our interviews… but was that really the right thing to do?
Let Amami-san have time to cool her head.
"…Mom, I'll be right back. Can you talk with the teacher for a bit?"
"Huh? Um, Maehara-kun? Then what's the point of the meeting…?"
"It's fine. I'll be back in about fifteen minutes." Ditching the parent-teacher meeting wasn't fine, but I couldn't leave her alone. Not now.
…Just like Umi back then, last year.
"Maki, in that case, I'll──"
"No, Umi, you go ahead with your interview. When you're done, come find me. I'll find Amami-san by then and let you know where we are."
"Got it. I'll finish in five minutes."
My mom and Sora-san exchanged exasperated looks, but since they didn't object, I took it as permission. I'd get a lecture later, but that could wait.
"Um, Eri-san. Please wait here," I said, turning to her.
"…Maki-kun, I'm so sorry for getting you involved in our family drama."
"It's fine, we're friends… Mom, just tell the teacher what I said."
"Alright… But make sure you're back on time."
"Yeah. I promise. Umi, I'm heading out."
"Take care. I'm counting on you with our best friend, for now."
With their words pushing me forward, I started running through the school, searching for Amami-san. The building was annoyingly large, but she always stood out.
…Besides, I already had a good idea of where she might have gone.
"The first and third years are still in class… she's not on this floor… A place where she can be alone at this time of day… that would be…"
There weren't many options. The space in front of the storage room where the five of us sometimes ate lunch, or the student council room we'd been using a lot lately. Nakamura-san was in the student council room, so Amami-san wouldn't be completely alone, but it was a place she could think. I checked each spot and finally arrived at the student council room.
"…Nakamura-san, it's Maehara."
"! Oh, welcome. First Amami-chan, and now you. We're getting a lot of visitors today."
"Amami-san was here?"
"? Yeah. She said she really wanted to go to the rooftop and asked if I could unlock it… I told her the student council was scheduled to clean up there today, so it's open."
"I see… thanks for the info."
"Ah, yeah, um…"
The rooftop was usually locked, so I had ruled it out, but it was the perfect place to cool off. I told Nakamura-san I'd talk to her later and headed for the stairs. It had been a while since I'd been up there—not since last year's cultural festival. Back then, I was alone with Umi. It was a little colder than it was now, and we'd held hands to warm each other… a place full of memories.
When I opened the door, I saw her, standing alone near the center of the roof.
"…Amami-san."
"! Maki-kun…"
"I was supposed to start my meeting, but I was worried and came after you… Sorry for being nosy."
"It's okay. I've known for a while that you're that kind of person," she said with a small, sad smile.
"I'm flattered… Um, can we talk for a bit?"
"…Yeah."
I promised I'd be back in fifteen minutes, which meant I had about five minutes left… but I could probably stretch it a little longer. I sent Umi a quick message telling her I'd found Amami-san on the rooftop and walked over to her.
"I know this is sudden, but… how was the interview?"
"Maki-kun, you're really asking that…? It was the worst. The teacher and my mom were just grilling me. Well, it's all my fault, so I couldn't really say anything," she laughed sadly, her shoulders slumping. It had only been thirty minutes, but for her, every second must have felt like an eternity.
"…I couldn't write anything. Of course, I thought about it, and I even asked my mom for advice, you know? But… the way I am now, I just don't know."
"…What you want to do?"
"…" She just kept her head down and shook it. I thought she meant she couldn't imagine her future, but apparently, that wasn't it.
I changed my question. "Amami-san, you don't have to say anything. Just nod or shake your head, okay?"
"…" She nodded.
"It's not that you don't have anything you want to do?"
Nod.
"So, you have something you'd like to try, or a job you're interested in?"
Nod.
"But you have a personal reason why you can't write it down?"
Nod.
"Is it because of your grades or something?"
…Shake, shake.
"Is it because of something other than the career survey?"
...Nod.
There was a slight pause before she nodded, but I was glad she's being honest. "So, it's a problem that comes before thinking about your career."
Nod.
"…Okay, thanks for answering."
Shake, shake.
"You don't have to follow my instructions anymore."
"I-I thought we were still going!… Maki-kun, you're so mean." Though her head was still down, she pouted, and I could tell her mood was gradually improving.
"…I already know what I really feel. What I really want to do, and what I want to become."
"…Is that what Nitta-san told you?"
"Yeah… Nina-chi and I have been fighting about that for a while."
So, that's what this was all about. Perhaps Nitta-san had been the first to sense Amami-san's 'true feelings,' and had advised her, 'If you have a problem, you should be honest about it.'
Amami-san understood that logically. But there was a reason she absolutely couldn't give in, and until she came to terms with that, she was stuck… It was a vague guess, but it was the only thing that made sense.
"It's not like I wanted this to happen, you know? I want to go to school with Nina-chi like we always do, have lunch together, and hang out after school… with everyone."
"…But you still can't say anything?"
"Yeah."
"Even though you know how you feel?"
"…Yeah." Her stubbornness was incredible, but it meant her will was firm. I could feel it in her nod, which was deeper and more solid than before.
"Thanks for worrying about me, Maki-kun… But, I'm still sorry."
"I see. You can't tell me."
"Yeah. I feel bad for everyone, but I've already made my decision."
"I understand. Then I won't ask anymore."
"…Huh?" My easy concession seemed to surprise her. Her mouth hung open as she blinked at me. "Um, uh… are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'll wait patiently until you can sort out your feelings and confide in us on your own. But that's just me. I won't force Umi or Nitta-san to do the same. That's up to them." If her will was that strong, there was nothing more I could do. My job right now was to bring her back to Eri-san, not solve her problems. It wasn't that I was giving up on her… but sometimes, it's important to step back for a while.
"I'd appreciate that, Maki-kun… but it might take a really long time, you know? It might stay this way until we graduate…"
"Isn't that fine? We'll still be friends after we graduate. You want to make up with everyone eventually, right, Amami-san?"
"O-Of course! Even if we graduate, even if we go our separate ways, I want to be friends with everyone forever."
"I see. Then isn't that fine? As long as you feel that way, we'll think of you as a friend, too."
If we saw less of each other, we might drift apart. As time passed and our lives changed, our priorities might shift. Maybe that's all high school friendships amounted to. But what if our feelings for our friends didn't fade? What if we stayed connected? With just one opportunity, we could go back to being 'friends' anytime. At least, that's what I wanted to believe.
"I wonder if that's true. Is it okay to be so selfish… lying to myself, fighting with my precious friends, ruining the atmosphere… and still conveniently wanting to be 'friends forever'? That's just being a coward──Ouch!"
"Ah, sorry, Amami-san. Did that hurt? I thought I held back."
"No, I'm fine. I was just surprised… Maki-kun, did you just flick my forehead?"
"Yeah, Asanagi-style. I get it so often, I've learned how to do it." It was the first thing that came to mind to try to stop her from spiraling. I couldn't control the strength as well as Umi, but it seemed to have worked. Surprisingly, Amami-san had a hard head too; my middle finger still throbbed.
"You said something about 'lying to myself'… but I think that's a little wrong."
"Wrong? Why?"
"Because you're lying for a good reason, right? You're afraid that by confessing how you 'truly feel,' you might hurt us, or someone else── Isn't that also a 'true feeling'? Or maybe, another true feeling. I can't explain it well."
"Another… true… feeling──"
I believe that true feelings aren't limited to just one thing. I learned that from my interactions with Umi and Amami-san last year.
──I like you, but I hate you just as much.
Those were the words Umi had told Amami-san, being honest with her own complicated feelings. They had been inseparable since they met, best friends before they even knew it… yet, secretly, Umi had a complex towards the genius Amami-san, who could do anything effortlessly.
I like you, but I hate you. I hate you, but I like you. This was something similar.
Your own feelings are important. But so are someone else's. Amami-san was just like Umi. She wasn't a coward or a bad person. She was just a kind girl who cared about others, maybe a little too much.
"That's why I'll wait for you to find your own answer. Whether you prioritize your 'true feelings' or the 'other one'… If neither is a lie, I'll respect your choice." I felt like I'd said something similar to Umi before, but it couldn't be helped; the two of them were so alike. Even if their looks and talents were different, at their core, they both cared deeply for their best friend… so kind it was almost a fault, and both lonely and timid.
"Anyway, that's how I feel… I have to get back to my interview. What will you do, Amami-san? Will you stay here a little longer?"
"…"
Maybe she wanted more time to think. That was fine. "Okay. I'll be going then. Just let Nakamura-san know when you're done──"
"──Maki-kun."
"Hm? What's wrong──"
──Squeeze.
Just as I turned around, my vision was filled with Amami-san's beautiful, softly swaying blonde hair. A faint, sweet scent tickled my nose.
"…Huh?"
"I'm sorry, Maki-kun… I guess I really couldn't do it alone."
"Amami-san, um, it would be great if you could let go…"
"Yeah, it's okay. I know. I know this will only trouble you, Maki-kun. But…" She whispered weakly into my ear, hugging me tightly.
"Please. Let me stay like this, just a little longer."
"Amami-san…"
I could only stand there, frozen, as Amami-san buried her face in my chest like a spoiled child.