Killian steps inside, and I'm still clutching the towel against my chest like it's the only thing keeping me from falling apart. His hands are covered in grease, and he does something that completely melts me: he walks in and says,
"Hey, little one… I'm home."
Then he gives me the softest kiss on the lips—the kind married couples share after twenty years together—and adds,
"I really need that shower."
I play along and ask, "How was work today, babe? Come on in. I'll get the water running hot, just the way you like it."
He looks at my face and says, "God… what would I do without you?"
And just like that, in the middle of our silly little game, everything shifted.
Still charming as ever, he pulls off his shirt. Right before closing the bathroom door, he says,
"You want to know how work went? Alright… it was a weird day. I found out my brother wants exactly the same thing I do."
He closes the door, and I freeze.
I'm not going to lie to you, bestie. I knew exactly what he meant. He wasn't talking about wanting the same Ferrari. He was talking about me. But he didn't sound sad—just… off. And that threw me more than anything.
While I hear the water running, my mind starts racing.
First of all, I shouldn't feel ashamed of anything. I know they're both way out of my league. But from day one, they saw something in me I still don't understand, and they came after me. What was I supposed to do? Reject them? I'm young, and I like them both. I refuse to feel guilty about that.
Still, Lucius's reaction on the dock when he saw Killian kiss me was pretty clear. We were going to have that conversation eventually.
I look at myself in the mirror, drop the towel, and slip on an oversized shirt I use as pajamas. One quick hand through my short hair, and I'm done. I'm so grateful for this haircut. I used to spend hours in front of the mirror, and it always made me sad. I never really understood why.
I notice the towel on the floor and realize I didn't leave one inside for Killian. I knock on the door and keep our little game going, using my best sitcom-wife voice:
"Honey… do you need a towel?"
He doesn't answer. I start to worry, but then his hand slips out through the crack and takes it.
The bathroom door opens. A light cloud of steam rolls out, and when Killian steps out with water still dripping down those massive muscles, all I can think about is dragging him to bed and keeping him there for a thousand years—or at least until I die and go to heaven so I can tell Carol I lived a romance with a man hotter than any hero from the novels we used to read together.
But I pull myself together and say,
"Okay, back to where we left off. Work day. Tell me everything that happened with your brother. Come on, don't hold back. I can take it."
He answers,
"We were in the office with Dad, talking about you. We weren't even trying to hide it. Dad just asked straight out, 'Do either of you actually like Carmilla? I mean, really like her?'"
"Lucius and I both raised our hands at the same time like a couple of idiots."
"But don't worry. We're Longfields. We know how to handle these situations. I'm not going to turn this into some huge drama. I just want to be with you tonight. That's the truth."
Something inside me screamed, Careful, Carmilla. Speak now or this is going to blow up in your face. So that's exactly what I did.
I asked sharply,
"What do you mean by 'handle these situations'?"
Killian replied,
"It's not the first time a girl has gone after a Longfield and didn't care if it was Lucius or me. They just want the last name. It's happened dozens of times since we were teenagers. Dad taught us how to deal with it. We know how to walk away clean. So if my brother slept with you, or if you're in love with him, just tell me. At least be honest and say you don't want me too—that you're just using me as a backup in case things don't work out with Lucius. If you tell me you're not like the others, I'll believe you… because I want to believe you."
While he said those devastating words, he was drying his long hair with a hand towel, and that simple gesture hurt me even more than what he was saying.
Killian calms down, kneels in front of me, and says softly,
"Listen to me. I know I'm just being a jealous idiot right now. I need the truth. Deep down, I know I didn't make a mistake with you. I don't care if you're attracted to my brother. I don't even care if you slept with him. I'm not a kid. But I need to know if you love him… because I really don't want to get hurt."
He lifts my chin and adds,
"I'm not lying. You don't have to be with me if you want Lucius. Just tell me, and I swear I'll leave you alone. Just… don't let me walk away broken."
That's when he runs his hand through his long hair… and something in my memory clicks.
A forgotten childhood flash hits me so hard it feels like something inside my brain just snapped back into place.
I see myself as a little girl, abandoned, brushing my biological mother's long hair while she's passed out in a chair, eyes open, mouth slack. Bottles and trash cover the floor. My father is slumped over the table. I'm just a scared little girl saying, "Mommy, do you like the hairstyle I made for you? Mommy, please wake up!" She gets angry, stumbles to her room, bumping into walls without even looking at me.
I snap out of the memory with tears streaming down my face. A ringing fills my head, and for the first time, I realize those memories are finally back.
Killian is right in front of me, terrified, apologizing over and over
."I'm so sorry. I've never seen anyone cry like that. Let me hold you…"
But I'm frozen. I look at him, and I don't see the wonderful guy anymore. I see someone who isn't really here—someone who doesn't really see me. With unmistakable anger, I say,
"You don't want to get hurt? You don't want scars? Fine… don't worry."
I turn around, lift the back of my shirt, and show him the two long scars running across my shoulder blades. Without turning back, I shout,
"You have no idea what it means to be hurt. You don't know what it's like to wake up not knowing if your parents are alive or dead—or so mad at you they'll lock you in a trunk for days without food. You don't know what it's like for them to drive full speed toward a truck to end it all while you're screaming in the back seat. But you want to attack me? Compare me to those girls chasing after you? Demand the truth so you don't get hurt? Goodbye, Killian. You stupid, insensitive rich boy who can't see what's right in front of him. I'm just a girl who can't be broken like some toy you two are fighting over—because I was already broken a long time ago. Now get out! Get out! I just need to lie down for a bit… I feel dizzy and…"
I sit on the bed, almost fainting, completely overwhelmed.
I know he's not to blame for what happened to me as a kid. Of course I know that. But I had never said it out loud before. Not even to Carol. I had just buried it… or tried to.
I close my eyes and wait for the sound of the door slamming as Killian leaves.
But instead, I feel his hands behind me, gently covering my back with a blanket. His warm voice whispers in my ear,
"Oh, my little one… what did they do to you?"
I collapse into his arms. I hear myself breathing in broken gasps, and for a second, everything goes black.
He stays with me, and I swear, bestie, it felt like my body had finally let go of a weight I'd been carrying forever.
And there, looking into his green eyes while resting on his shoulder, I knew it.
I'm not a victim. They tried to make me one—God, they really tried—but I got back up every single time. I'm unbreakable. I refuse to let my scars be a map of tragedy. They're proof of my rebirth.
And right then, as color slowly returned to my world, Killian said the most beautiful words I've ever heard.
Cradling my face, his voice thick with emotion, he whispered,
" I'm going to promise you something right now. You'll never be alone again. You'll never feel abandoned. It doesn't matter if you want me, my brother, or no one at all. Whether you're under this roof or a thousand miles away, I swear, Carmilla—if you ever feel sad or those memories come back to haunt you—before the first tear even hits the ground… I will find you. Even if I have to search half the world… I will find you."
A beautiful shiver ran through me as his voice cracked. I looked at him with tenderness and finally realized the truth.
There was real love in his eyes.
Oh my God, bestie… Killian is actually in love with me.