Chapter 58: Paimon's Self-Taught Ora
A blurry silhouette, long buried beneath the heavy dust of centuries past, quietly surfaced in Zhongli's mind. Alongside it came the image of a sealed artifact, one steeped in ancient contracts and unfulfilled promises.
'Perhaps... this is not entirely without use.' The thought drifted through his consciousness, carrying an indescribable weight and a faint, fragile glimmer of hope.
He did not dwell on it further. With measured care, he stored the puppet—a vessel holding the faint possibility of a miracle—into the deepest recesses of the chat group's inventory.
The third orb of blue light materialized, transforming into a warm, octagonal stone. Two distinct tiger patterns were carved into its surface, halved down the middle. The Tiger Talisman.
A subtle thrum of yin and yang emanated from the stone. It did not simply or crudely sever a person's good from their evil; its core magic lay in the deep art of harmonization.
Should the wielder activate this talisman, its power would seep into their very meridians. It possessed the unique ability to sort and pacify conflicting energies, forcing incompatible attributes into perfect equilibrium. It was a flawless safeguard against root damage and qi deviation caused by internal power clashes.
For an existence like Zhongli—a god who had long since refined his geo authority into a singular, absolute force and controlled it with immaculate precision—such an item offered little practical value.
Yet, for mortal cultivators burdened by chaotic internal energies or conflicting elements, this talisman was a supreme treasure. It could stabilize a crumbling foundation and eliminate the fatal risks of cultivation.
The final green light, however, proved to be rather substantial.
A colossal phantom materialized within his perception. It was a Giant Emperor Wild Boar, measuring nearly thirty meters from snout to tail. Its shoulders bulged like small mountains, and its massive tusks protruded like deadly, ivory spears, exuding a wild, untamed aura.
The system provided a helpful description: a top-tier ingredient sourced from the world of One Piece, renowned for its exceptionally succulent and energy-rich meat. A special note hovered beneath the description: [Item has been harmlessly processed and perfectly preserved by the Chat Group.]
Zhongli pictured the sheer mass of the beast. Just summoning it would instantly crush the entire courtyard. He shifted his golden gaze toward Azhdaha, who was currently pacing back and forth, brewing a fresh storm of indignation and chattering endlessly about his grievances. A plan quietly formed in the retired Archon's mind.
"Alright, Azhdaha," Zhongli spoke at the perfect moment, his calm, resonant voice cutting through his old friend's impending tirade. His tone carried a subtle, soothing cadence. "In truth, my recent journey was not entirely without harvest. I even made sure to... bring you a gift."
"A gift?" Azhdaha's rant came to a screeching halt. A flicker of genuine confusion crossed his features, quickly replaced by a spark of intense curiosity. The ancient dragon leaned in, his eyes narrowing. "What kind of gift? Why are you acting so mysterious? Hurry up and take it out! Let me see!"
Zhongli rose from his seat with unhurried grace, carefully smoothing out the creases in his dark sleeves. "This particular item is exceedingly large. It would be highly inconvenient to display it within these confines. Come, accompany me to Wanmin Restaurant. If Xiangling handles the preparation, it should make for a truly spectacular meal."
"Exceedingly large? And we have to go all the way to Wanmin Restaurant for it?" Azhdaha's curiosity completely overrode his previous foul mood. He practically leaped to his feet, trailing eagerly behind the consultant. "What exactly is it? Tell me! Is it the meat of some rare, exotic beast?"
The mighty Lord of Vishaps followed beside Zhongli, acting less like an ancient terror of the earth and more like a child anticipating a festival surprise, bombarding him with questions every step of the way. Zhongli merely offered a faint, knowing smile. He kept his silence, his steps measured and calm as they handled the bustling streets of Liyue Harbor toward Wanmin Restaurant.
As they walked, Zhongli habitually opened the chat group interface in his mind. The digital screen was already scrolling rapidly. A fierce new round of comparisons had broken out, entirely centered around everyone's recent lottery pulls.
[Zenless Zone Zero · Belle]: "My brother and I are super lucky! We pulled these weird fruits that let us turn our bodies into actual fire and ice! From now on, as long as we're careful handling New Eridu, we basically don't have to worry about physical attacks anymore!"
[Genshin Impact · Paimon]: "Hmph! When it comes to luck, the crown obviously belongs to me, Paimon! I pulled another purple-tier item! It's the super awesome 'Paimon's Star' that can literally stop time! It's way more powerful than your silly fruits! [Image: Paimon_Proud.jpg]"
Every single pixel of her message radiated an powerful aura of 'Praise me right now.' If she had a tail, it would be wagging furiously enough to launch her into the stratosphere.
[Genshin Impact · Lumine]: "[Image: Paimon's Star · Devil Muscle Man Form.jpg]"
The image dropped into the chat like a massive boulder hurled into a tranquil pond. The lively scrolling text instantly froze. A deep, deeply uncomfortable silence descended upon the multiversal group.
A full minute passed before March 7th, having finally finished appeasing a very grumpy Pom-Pom on the Astral Express, broke the ice.
[Honkai: Star Rail · March 7th]: "Wow... This... The appearance of your new combat partner is... It's really... Hmm... full of the raw beauty of power! Paimon, it looks... so reliable!"
March 7th had clearly exhausted every ounce of her diplomatic vocabulary. That was the absolute nicest spin she could possibly put on the horrifying, muscle-bound monstrosity on her screen.
[Zenless Zone Zero · Belle]: "...Indeed, it's very... unique! Honestly, as long as Paimon summons that thing, enemies will probably surrender out of pure intimidation just by looking at it, right?"
[Honkai: Star Rail · Stelle]: "!!! Wow! Paimon! Your Stand is way too cool! Those bulging muscles! Those chiseled lines! The sheer, suffocating sense of oppression! I admit, I'm actually a little envious! I really want a super-jacked Stand that can punch things for me and stop time too! The visual impact is completely invincible! [Image: Starry_Eyes.jpg]"
Back in Liyue Harbor, even the famously unflappable Zhongli paused. As his golden eyes swept over the intensely aggressive, visually explosive photograph sent by Lumine, his steady, mountain-like stride actually faltered for a fraction of a second.
"Hmm? Why did you stop?" Azhdaha immediately noticed the break in rhythm, glancing at his companion in confusion. "Aren't we heading to Wanmin Restaurant? Is the gift getting impatient?"
"It is nothing. I was merely pondering a certain matter and became momentarily distracted," Zhongli replied, his handsome face smoothing back into a mask of perfect tranquility.
He resumed his measured pace forward. However, the deeply shocking, hyper-muscular imagery of Paimon's Star had firmly burned itself into the back of his ancient mind.
Following that initial stunned silence, the chat group completely exploded. Fueled by March 7th and Belle's painfully polite diplomacy, combined with Stelle's chaotic, unfiltered admiration, the discussion reached a fever pitch. The topic entirely derailed from who had the best luck to an intense, multi-world analysis of the sheer aesthetic and physical dominance of Paimon's Star.
Meanwhile, back in Teyvat, within the cozy confines of the Flowing Springs Inn.
"Lumine!!!" A sharp, deeply indignant shriek nearly shattered the wooden ceiling.
Paimon's hair practically stood on end. She stared at the holographic chat screen in absolute horror, realizing that Lumine had actually leaked the photo of her muscle-bound Stand to the entire group! Her tiny face flushed a violent, burning crimson, resembling a perfectly ripe Sunsettia.
"How could you do this to me?! I'm so embarrassed! I can never show my face in the chat again! Waaah!"
Moving like a tiny, furious white whirlwind, she zoomed across the room. She threw herself at Lumine, her tiny fists raining down upon the traveler's shoulders and arms in a rapid-fire blur.
She had fully activated her own, completely harmless Ora Ora mode.
"Take that! And that! Undo it! Delete the picture right now!"
Lumine, having fully anticipated this exact reaction, easily endured the frantic assault. Paimon's angry pounding felt more like a highly enthusiastic, lightweight massage.
Biting her lip to hold back a burst of laughter, Lumine reached out to pat the floating guide's head. "Oh, it's fine, it's fine, Paimon! Look at the bright side. This is a deeply precious combat ability! You'll have to summon it in battle sooner or later, and people are bound to see it anyway. Don't be so stingy with your grand debut."
A mischievous glint flashed in Lumine's golden eyes as she deliberately added fuel to the fire. "Besides, look at the chat! Stelle is incredibly envious of you. She explicitly said she wants a muscular Stand just like yours!"
"Envious?! What is there to be envious about?! It's completely humiliating!"
Paimon's Ora Ora barrage intensified, her tiny arms swinging so fast they became a blur of white sleeves. Yet, to Lumine's battle-hardened physique, it still felt exactly like being aggressively tickled.
"Lumine is a huge idiot! I don't care what Stelle says! Delete it right now!"
Seeing that simple verbal persuasion was entirely ineffective—and had only served to upgrade the intensity of Paimon's aggressive massage—Lumine sighed. It was time to pull out her ultimate trump card.
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