"It… It does suck… it sucks a lot actually." Alice replied as her tone of voice completely changed for but a moment as she lowered her gaze back towards the ground, her expression had turned even more somber than it had before, it was clearly… not something that she had managed to admit lightly.
The usual Alice was cheery, someone that skipped around and giggled almost at everything whilst smiling at everyone. To admit something like this, it was not something Alice had ever done with many people, with perhaps the only exception being Carlisle Cullen who had helped her since finding her acting like a monster in the forests, decades ago.
"I… I'm not exactly normal either… but I don't… I don't know what I am or what's happening to me." Alan said softly at that moment, his voice tight and small, as he similarly to her wasn't even looking at her as he admitted his own secret.
'Keep it vague… as vague as possible.' Alan thought to himself as his hands that were hidden inbetween his knees slowly clenched into fists that shook just slightly.
"You… don't know?" Alice asked in pure confusion as she gazed towards him, lifting her gaze from the ground, her eyes had widened slightly in confusion as she gazed at him, her eyes swerving over him from top to bottom before landing on his clenched lower lip.
After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke once more as she gave a nod of her head.
"I… believe you aswell. Just… can you explain? Or I guess, we both have explaining to do, don't we?" Alice murmured slowly as she gave another nod, more to herself than it was directed towards him.
"Yeah… I guess we do have quite a bit of explaining to do… do you want me to start first or you?" Alan asked carefully, truth be told, he wanted to go last, he could just end it more quickly and he would make sure that whilst Alice told her story, he could interact with her as much as possible whilst at the same time learning more information on just how much he could exactly trust her and how much of his secret he could potentially reveal.
"Alright, yeah… I'll go first, I don't mind… just give me a moment to gather my thoughts please." Alice replied as she slowly took a deep breath, her chest expanding, she didn't need to, vampires had no need to breathe however it was a motion that she had done so many times before that it had become a sort of calming move for her nerves, something to pull her back and calm and center herself back into the current situation.
The next few seconds were calm… silent, it wasn't an empty silence, it was a silence that was filled with everything that was about to be said, with a sort of tension that wasn't exactly scary anymore, the greatest secrets had already been revealed, now all that was left was the ones that were related to them, that explained them, their pasts and their situations.
"I don't have many memories of my life as a human… right before that, Vampires are immortal but we were never born as vampires, vampire's can't be born, we can only be turned from humans. I was turned a long time ago… but I think i was part of a mental institution before I was turned and my memories as a human are far and few between, I don't truly remember much besides my own name which was Alice. I don't even remember how I ended up in that institution and neither do i remember the reason as to why." Alice said softly, her voice slightly shaking for a moment as her mind wandered back towards the start of what she remembered as her life, to the foggy memories that had never truly returned to her, to memories that were so broken that they were merely fragments.
'She… doesn't remember her human life at all… I guess that would explain why she does act a bit… less human than the rest of the Cullens, she was never truly a human, if she doens't have the memories than she is only trying to pretend to be a human as her act without actually knowing what being one is like whilst the rest of the Cullens most likely still have their memories as humans and thus acting is far less difficult in their positions.' Alan thoughts instantly, whilst his mind had felt bad for her for a brief moment, his curiosity was already far too big to be left stuck on such an emotion as he started theorising about her behaviour patterns aswell as past situations that he had been in with her and then looking at them through an entirely different lens… and in a way it explained a lot.
"So… you don't even remember who your mother or father was? Or your family or anything at all?" Alan asked curiously as he tilted his head slightly to the side as he looked at the vampire sitting before him.
"No, nothing. After I was turned, and I had no memories, for a while I acted like a wild animal, just going through forests, eating anything that came in my way… yes humans. Thats the images that you saw in the paintings, It's not like I even knew what I was doing was wrong in the first place, I had no memories of my humanity and a vampire lacks the well morals that certain humans instinctively have about not harming or eating another human… to vampires all there is… is hunger." Alice said as she released a long winded sigh.
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