The festival ended without much fanfare. To be honest, I wasn't particularly impressed by the celebrities, so it's fair to say I spent most of my money on food.
"...Where did all my money go?"
I wore a dejected expression while fidgeting with my navy coat.
Somehow I'd spent all that money already. After searching through every pocket, all I found was a single bill and a few coins.
1 Rill and 80 Celt. It was clear I couldn't buy anything with this amount.
Since I rarely bought food outside of festivals anyway, it didn't really matter if I was broke, but still—seeing 100 Rill disappear in just two days left me feeling empty.
But I was satisfied knowing I'd treated Sera, Aria, and Karen generously. I did buy something for the Professor once or twice as well, but seeing how happy and surprised the girls were when I treated them with my own allowance made me feel proud.
I couldn't help but smile.
Though my wallet felt empty, the feeling that followed was indescribable. I hung my uniform to the side and approached the Professor.
With coins jingling lightly in my hand, I held them out to the Professor, who closed his laptop and looked in my direction.
"Oh, Urr. What is it?"
"Professor, do we have a piggy bank at home?"
"A piggy bank? Well... we don't have anything cute, but there's a container we use."
The Professor stood up and retrieved a storage box from the desk in the room. I wasn't sure if he just tossed coins in there whenever they became annoying, but quite a lot had accumulated.
When I held out my bill and coins, the Professor looked at my cupped hands, then reached into the piggy bank. To my surprise, he grabbed a handful and placed it in my hands.
"Huh?"
Suddenly, a heavy weight threatened to pull my arms down.
I'd momentarily forgotten that my body wasn't in the best condition. Since my physical age had regressed, my muscles had shrunk as well, and my body couldn't handle the sudden weight, causing me to stagger.
I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to drop the coins, when the Professor gently steadied me.
"Looks like Urr is rich now?"
"It's heavy."
"Want to count it together?"
When the Professor suggested this, my gaze was drawn downward.
While I wasn't particularly interested in money, I found myself nodding at his invitation. It wasn't so much about greed as enjoying the jingling sound.
After I nodded, the Professor held the money container under my hands.
"Here."
"Okay."
As I spread my hands apart, the money fell through the gap with a clinking sound.
I followed the Professor out of the room. We settled in the living room, and I scattered the coins across the floor, feeling like a rich person. As the coins spread out, bills that had been hidden between them revealed themselves.
The Professor sorted through the coins and showed them to me one by one.
"This is 1 Celt, this is 5 Celt... You recognize the 10 Celt and 50 Celt, right?"
"They're so tiny."
"Yes, it's easier to count if we stack them in groups of ten."
The Professor quickly gathered ten coins and stacked them into a tower. Impressed, I immediately grabbed some coins and lined them up in a row.
The jingling sound quickly transformed into a tapping as I built a tower. It was almost meditative. After stacking for a while, I wiggled my fingers and started adding up the numbers.
25 towers of 1 Celt makes 250 Celt. 21 towers of 5 Celt makes 1050 Celt...?
As I furrowed my brow and racked my brain, the Professor called out to me.
"Urr."
The Professor's call scattered the numbers in my head. It felt like someone had swept their hand across a puzzle I was just about to complete.
Was this this? How much was it again? My eyes spun in confusion.
"Huh?"
I looked up at the Professor with a dazed expression, and he carefully asked a question while scanning the neatly arranged coins in front of him.
"Urr, have you ever thought about living alone when you grow up?"
When I grow up?
I tilted my head, unsure how to respond to this sudden question about the future.
Since I'd never thought about living alone, I pondered for a moment. Placing my hand on my chin, I hummed thoughtfully before answering the Professor who was waiting for my response.
"I've never thought about living alone. Do I have to leave when I grow up?"
"No, that's not what I meant..."
I couldn't tell what the Professor was trying to say, but at least I didn't have to leave, which was a relief. I swallowed a sigh of relief and resumed counting the coins.
I bundled them in groups of five, just like the Professor had done.
"So Urr, you want to stay with the Professor?"
"Yes."
As I nodded, the Professor looked at me with a gentle smile. I wondered why he was being so serious while we were just counting coins.
At first, I didn't think much of it, but as time went on, I felt increasingly overwhelmed by the atmosphere, and my movements slowed.
"Urr. You're a Demon God, right? As you grow, your Vessel will expand, and eventually you'll develop an Aura, right?"
"Yes."
"Normally, there's no way to handle the Aura that comes from a Demon God's body, but you're special because you can become younger, which means you have a way to forcibly reduce that Vessel."
The Professor adjusted his posture. His expression seemed slightly dark, which made me freeze as I looked at him.
We stared at each other for a long time.
After a brief silence, the Professor's voice continued quietly.
"Have you ever thought about returning to the Forest?"
Return to the Forest? The Forest was actually a lonely place. I hadn't spent many days there in this body, but spending time doing nothing in a forest with nothing in it was intensely isolating.
It wasn't a place I wanted to return to. It wasn't familiar, and I didn't know what to do there.
"No."
"I see. Well, there's something you need to do—you'll have to become younger again as time passes."
I understood what that meant.
He was telling me I needed to die again.
What would happen if I didn't? Dying was scary, but I didn't want to go back to the Forest either.
When I first met the Professor, it was a painful and distressing memory, but for several months after that until just a few months ago, I only remembered moving between sterile research facilities.
Still, I was able to endure because they told me they weren't just treating me as an experimental subject, but were trying to help me live among humans. That's why I could enjoy my current life.
If I went back, would I become an unsafe being? I didn't like that idea.
Many thoughts crossed my mind. But it didn't take long to reach a conclusion. I didn't have many options anyway.
A mountain with nothing, or a city with the Professor? Who would even need to think about that choice? Only someone who truly loved nature and could survive being abandoned in an empty mountain would choose differently.
Would the original "me" have endured? I wondered. Since I am me now, shouldn't my opinion matter?
"But when I become younger, when do I grow up?"
"...The thing is, Urr, you can't grow up."
At those words, my mind went blank.
I pondered for a long time, trying to understand what it meant that I could become younger but couldn't grow up.
It seemed impossible to return to the original "me" to its original form. The somewhat gloomy reality dawned on me that I would have to maintain this childlike appearance as long as I stayed with the Professor.
Still, since I enjoyed this life, I thought I could say something different.
Even if I couldn't grow, even if this wasn't my original body, I might actually prefer this life.
"Really?"
"...I'm sorry for saying something unpleasant."
"It's okay."
The Professor seemed taken aback by my calm reaction.
That made sense, considering it went against the wish I had expressed many times. It was natural for him to be surprised when I gave up so easily.
After my calm response, I reached out my hand to escape this heavy atmosphere.
Without saying anything, I lined up the coins in rows. It seemed I had already counted more than 10 Rill.
"Can you bear the pain, Urr?"
"...Isn't there a way that doesn't hurt?"
I asked cautiously, but the Professor shook his head.
"I'd like to find a painless method, but I think it might be difficult."
The Professor wore a bitter expression. It seemed he had been trying to find a solution behind my back.
It was disconcerting to suddenly be presented with this choice after hearing nothing about it. The fact that he had been hiding it and suddenly brought it up might mean the situation was urgent.
That made sense.
It had been a year since I met the Professor. Almost another half year had passed since then. It was easier to think that the Professor was getting anxious about when I might unleash the Aura that people feared.
But the lack of a painless method was concerning. I wondered if there wasn't something like anesthesia.
Dying was scary, but at least I wouldn't stay dead. I thought it was better than returning to a life more miserable than death, so I smiled at the Professor.