Chapter 1 - Broken Soul

I hate you. I loathe you with every single milimeter of my flesh, from the tip of my toes to the top of my head.

You have made my life a living inferno, and this torturing existence has been going on long enough.

It's absurd. The things you have made to me, are far beyond horroful.

You have taken everything from me, leaving me with nothing but conceit...

How could you do such atrocities to someone that didn't even do anything to you...?

There are no answer for my questions, for you are withouta doubt, a mad woman.

I used one of the many soldiers who depise you just as much as I, to get time away from you.

They are all coming for me. You must have ordered them to do so...

I don't have any time to waste.

It is a rainy night. I have found an abandoned hut in the middle of the forest, but I will need to get through some thick bushes in order to access to it.

The density of the trees around it is quite the savior. Hopefully, you will not found my rests.

I have managed to be alone in the middle of nowhere, for you, my location will be a mystery.

The door of this isolated hut has just closed behind me. It is time to proceed.

The rope that I got from that soldier, is now attached, firmly, to the beam that holds the ceiling. Everything is set.

As I am really slowly walking towards the rusty wooden chair in the middle of the room, my raspy voice is wishing to express my heart's feelings, with a not so fine singing:

"𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚. 𝑹𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒄𝒆𝒔'𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅.

𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚. 𝑵𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚, 𝒊𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚.

𝑰 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚, 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒅.

𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒇, 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅.

𝑹𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒋𝒂𝒊𝒍.

𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆, 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒏𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒗𝒆𝒊𝒍.

𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕, 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒎 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒈𝒐.

𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒎𝒆. 𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒇. 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒆.

𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 "𝒂 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒍", 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏, 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆?

𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆, 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒔𝒔, 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒔? —𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓, 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔— 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉, 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉...

𝑶𝒉, 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒖𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕.

𝑨 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏, 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒕... 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒎, 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒎.

𝑰'𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚...𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒇𝒂𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕.—𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒕, 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚 — 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖...𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒚—𝑰 𝒌𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓, 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏—𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆..."

The pain of being unable to breath is not as painful as being tormented every day, beacuse of a irrational hate.

The pain is soon to be gone. I am finally going to be free from this world.

If the gods above are fair, we will be reunited soon, mom...

I can feel the anxiety leaving my body, just like the worries and fears inside my chest.

My vision is getting blurry, as everything it's getting dark.

Maybe death isn't so bad...

My consciousness has just woken up.

I am coming back to my senses. The thinking and the perception, are now working again.

"W-Where am I?" I say, in confusion about the place in which I was.

Everything is dark, and there is nothing at sight.

"Wait...I am not in there anymore! I-I...am...free?" I say, as I start to smile and cry aloud.

"I AM FINALLY FREE!" I scream, and then started to cry even more, for the relief I feel deep inside of me.

"WAIT! Th-Then this must be-"—I gasp in disbelief—"Woooah." I say, for what I can see makes me unable to speak.

A purple light has illuminated everything repently, and now I can see an incomprehensible amount of beautiful visual stimulus.

There are fantastical views everywhere, as there seems to be no limit nor end to this beautiful and colorful ocean of stars and imagination.

Each and every single one place; each milimeter, in all directions, in all senses, every piece of space, is rendered to what I think, is perfection.

I can see infinite fields of grass and wonder, animals from all species, villages and towns with people made of paper, monuments made of emeralds, constellations of all forms and alienations, worlds made of rocks and others made of glass.

There are creatures of unusual anatomies, such as a bird with three pairs of wings and four legs, or a awesomely big reptile, with a pair of wings and 4 legs, which spits fire hotter than a star.

On a desert of snow, there are entities piled one over another, making a tower of living, which, strangely, is quite amusing.

There is even a choir of tulips singing a lovable melody, making the perfect background music to the perfect show, a flawless combination.

I am floating, going from here to there; from under to above, letting time flow, as I found myself admiring in tranquility, this unprecedented place.

I am traveling this space, searching and collecting only the feelings that in the heat of the euphoria, run everywhere inside me.

This timeless footage is now craved deep inside of me: My paradise of sensations is a warm hug, a home, a place where there are no problems nor imprisonment.

There is no need to suffer from hunger, nor to be desparate for water.

In here, there are no love separations...

I have infinite companions, animals, and places to go to. So I am not alone nor contained.

In here, there are old people. Some of them are made of cacti, and others of magical runes. I can speak

because In here, to be, is to enjoy.

I have been comparing my newest look to previous ones, and I have discovered that there isn't a single instance of place or concept, equal to another. Even if they seem to be exactly the same in shape, they still have a characteristic which differentiate them apart, like the giant statues of farmer apples. One of them has a hole on its hat, which is not that big but, it still makes it unique.

They can also be really similar in colors, but they fail to be the same beacuse of a change in any part. An example of this would be the two living paintings of queens, in that case, both of them have beautiful purple dresses, but one of them has a white heart in the chest.

One composition of cosmos can be really indistinguishable from its neighbor. An example of this is what I call "The Almost-Twins Mini Solar Systems", in which the two of them would be almost identical, if it wasn't because one of them has a small planet with sheeps that live in it.

There are even things which are the exact opposite in material from which they are made, like the cold moon of ice, and the hot moon of magma.

I am still shocked by the way all of the things inside of this place, are so amusing.

I can't close my sight. Resting from this trip of ideas and manifestation of the dream-like heaven, seems like an imposible task.

I am in peace, regaining little by little a child-like amusement for discovering what is around oneself.

I am now remembering and smilling about the most impressive and exciting moments in this adventure of happiness. All of the things that have left me bamboozled, are indeed, pure visual masterpieces, just like the clouds of stardust, the mini bands of roses, or the army of butterflies.

I can almost feel as comfortable as the great human made of wood, who was just relaxing in a bed made of stone, and saluted me when I got past him. Such a nice guy.

The time I have spent here, is now countless. I don't know, and I don't care. It is now pointless to count or recall it, for it has lost its value. I could have been here for days now, and that wouldn't matter to me.

I can't imagine me, anywhere but in here, because the joy and the tranquility that are flowing through my heart, are indescriptible. It is something that I have never felt before, a state of pure enlightenment to my soul.

This cumulus of crazy and marvelous inventions is making for what I have lived. Each second here is a punishment being rewarded.

Is it only me? Am I the only soul in here? There doesn't seem like any other is present in my heaven, maybe the souls are not meant to be together in the eternal rest.

That makes me feel a little sad, to be alone in this kingdom of dreams.

Such a pity that I will not see mom again...

All of a sudden, a giant dark blue eye has appeared out of nowhere. It is staring at me, making me feel like someone was lurking deep inside of my very soul.

At the same time, some weird blue and yellow symbols have also made their apparition. A lot of thin lime green light lines are coming out of them, and have started to cover me from my neck below, like a coat. All of them are revolving around me.

I can feel an indescriptible force all around of me, which is attempting to drive me in an uncertain direction. I am bring pulled backwards to I don't know where nor how. The symbols stay around me, emitting a bright light of each color. Almost simultaneously, an unexplainable sensation has also manifested, and it is a fearsome one. Even though I don't have a body, I am feeling an increasing pain expanding through my whole soul.

"AAAAGH!" I scream, suffering from the now violent sensation.

My head is boiling, the inmense headache I am experiencing is devastating. I feel like my mind and consciousness are going to explode.

The whole me is feeling like something is coming from deep inside to the exterior of my existence. Something is being subtracted from me.

The symbols have started to manifest some kind of grey light ropes. From each symbol a rope comes out to me. All of them, are entering my soul, and the pain of being pierced by such things is horrifying.

I am crying and screaming aloud. I am giving it my all to try and stop this nightmare-like situation for continuing. As the pain increases, I am more and more apart from the initial point.

I think I know now what the gray ropes were doing to me. They are taking away something from inside me.

It is a colorful self, a being that has the same face as me. She is coming out of me, with a face that is resembling the pain I feel, with her head now separated from mine.

Something is separating me from myself. The me who thinks, and the me who feels, both of ourselves, being extirpated of one another.

I can sense it. My feelings and emotions, being pulled onwards, from my soul and consciousness.

I am in pure desperation and fear, for my memories have started to leave me. The joyful and the sad days; the people I am fond of and those whom I hate; the places where I once stayed and laughed at, and even what I've experienced in here, are being forcibly removed while all I can do is to forget and to suffer.

Her torso is now out of me, just like her arms and elbows, which are covered by the ropes, forcing her away.

The more we separate, the less of me I can recall and feel. There is no longer nor anguish nor fear for this situation.

She is a half of me, and without her, my soul would be broken. I would be empty, a carcass of thoughts and perception, unable to fully experience anything, for I would be emotionless; an incomplete self. And with my memories abandoning me this fast, it is uncertain what will happen if we do separate completely.

Now we are only holding hands.

I am being pulled, moving backwards to an uncertain where. I am watching with confusion the place in which I am in, looking everywhere, attempting to recognize what is this weird place.

A bunch green light lines are around me, covering me, and a big eye is looking at me from some distance.

I can sense how there is something missing. There are quite the colorful structures and animals everywhere, and yet, they fail to amuse me.

I have been trying to understand why I am apathetic about all of this. I have searched profusely and with all the intention to at least have a glimpse of emotion, but those reactions are never to be found.

Lost and puzzled, such a disastrous moment to live. The judge of the universe has sentenced me to be drived by an unknown what to an unknown where, emotionless and pale about what is around me in this existence.

I have just found myself with an unexplainable sensation. There is another girl in this place, whom I believe I've seen before. But I don't remember from where. It may be a deja vu.

She is just floating, apparently feeling unwell. She is turning her head at one direction and then to the next, while tears come out of her eyes non-stop. It appears that she is feeling quite a lot, and it doesn't seem like she is enjoying the event.

An inexplicable "I am positive" has striked me. I think that she isn't capable of managing nor processing nor anything that comes to her. There are thin but visible waves of colors enveloping her. They are all warm colors, such as red and orange, all at synchrony orbiting her as planned moons party of harassment.

I've been trying to reach out for her, but the more I try, the more useless my efforts seem.

I believe that if she keeps being on her own, she just will end up beeing tormented by this overflow of sentimentalism.

The further we separate, the more anxious my mind becomes, because of how unnerving this footage is: a girl crying and screaming, while she is hugging herself. She looks overwhelmed, seeking consolation in her own arms, but it doesn't look like she is getting any progress. Truly, a stressful scene.

I can't close my sight, no matter how much I think about it, it doesn't make any sense to leave someone alone in that state. But the more I resist, the stronger I am being pulled, and now, we are too far away for me to help in any way. For her, those endless feelings and emotions, are hell.

The pulling's acceleration has greatly increased. The green lines are now so bright they almost blind me. The eye staring at me is the only thing I can distinguish, for it is clear, and strangely, makes me absurdly anxious.

The faster I go, the darker and plainer everything around me becomes, and my perception of the environment becomes useless.

The colors and forms present where the girl is, are no more. The music produced by the finest unhuman musicians, is now muted. The illumination of a infinite room of creativity and fantasy, is being extinguished to oblivion.

In the distance, a gigantic yellow crack has just popped up in the middle of the darkness.

I am soon to reach it, and I can't care about what will happen then. I have surrendered to this whole situation.

I am near it, and I can see how inside of the crack, there is a face of a man who is smiling creeply . He is peeking inside of this yellow bordered portal using his left eye, and, weirdly, he is missing his right one...

So the floating eye belongs to him, I assume. Even if that doesn't make any sense, it isn't like any of this situation does.

As I am entering this translucent window to another place and...my consciousness is...starting to faint...