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Piercing Through My Heart

Junyoz7
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Chapter 1 - Broken Soul

My consciousness has just woken up.

I am coming back to my senses.

The thinking and the perception, are now working again.

"I am free." I said, as I started to smile and cry aloud.

"I AM FINALLY FREE!" I said, and then started to cry even more, for the relief I felt deep inside of me.

"WAIT! Th-Then this must be-"—I gasped in disbelief—"Woooah." I said, for what I saw...had left me speechles.

There are fantastical views everywhere, as there is no limit nor end to this beautiful and colorful ocean of stars and imagination.

Each and every single one centimeter, in all directions, in all senses, and in every piece of space, rendered to perfection.

I am beyond amusement. All of the amazing things that are present in here are without a doubt, pure fantasy.

I can see infinite fields of grass and wonder, animals from all species, castles made of diamonds, constellations of all forms and alienations, worlds made of rocks and others made of glass.

There are creatures of unusual anatomies. Entities piled one over another, making a tower of living, which, strangely, is kind of beautiful.

There is even an orchesta of tulips singing a lovable melody, making the perfect background music to the perfect show.

I am floating, going from here to there; from under to above, letting time flow, as I found myself admiring in peace, this unprecedented place.

This timeless footage is now deep inside of me: My paradise of sensations is a warm hug, a home, a place where there are no problems nor responsibilities. In here, to be, is to enjoy.

I have been comparing my newest look to previous ones, and I have discovered that there isn't a single instance of place or concept, equal to another.

Even if they seem to be exactly the same in shape, they still have a characteristic which differentiate them apart, like the giant statues of farmer apples. One of them has a hole on its hat, which is not that big but, it still makes it unique.

They can also be really similar in colors, but they fail to be the same beacuse of a change in any part, like that one composition of cosmos to its correlative, which is almost indistinguishable of the first one, if it wasn't for the small planet with sheeps that live in it. There are even things which are the exact opposite in material from which they are made, like the cold moon of ice, and the moon of magma.

I close my sight, resting from a long trip of ideas and manifestation of the dream-like heaven.

I am now remembering the clouds of stardust that were the most incredible and the great living paintings of queens, which were arguing about who was better, even though they only difference in aspect was a small crack in the top of the mark of one of them.

The time I have spent here, countless. I don't know, and I don't care. I can't imagine me, anywhere but here, because the joy and tranquility that are flowing through my heart, are indescriptible. Pure enlightenment to my soul.

All of a sudden, something has started pulling me backwards. I can feel an indescriptible force attempting to drive me to an uncertain where.

Almost instantly, an unexplainable sensation has appeared, and it is a fearsome one. Even though I am being pulled, I can feel how something is retaining my self in the same spot from where I was resting.

Now the force has incremented, and even though I don't have a body, I can feel a devastating pain.

"AAAAGH!" I screamed, suffering from the now, violent sensation.

As the pain increases, I am more and more apart from the initial point, but the resistance never stops.

My head is boiling, the inmense headache I am experiencing is devastating.

The whole me is feeling like something is coming from deep inside to the exterior of my existence.

I am horrified, crying and giving it my all to try and stop this nightmare-like situation for continuing. And now I think I know what was stopping the pulling. It is a colorful self, a being that has the same face as me. She is coming out of me, with a face that is resembling the pain I feel, with her head now separated from mine.

Something is separating me from myself. The me who thinks, and the me who feels, both of ourselves, beeing extirpated of one another. I can sense it. My feelings and emotions, being pulled onwards, from my soul and consciousness.

I am in pure desperation and fear, for my memories have started to leave me. The joyful and the sad days, the people I am fond of and those whom I hate, the places where I once stayed and laughed at, and even what I've experienced in here, being forcibly removed while all I can do is to forget and to suffer. Her torso is now out of me, just like her arms to her elbows.

The more we separate, the less of me I can recall and feel, now there is no longer sadness nor fear for this situation. She is a half of me, and without her, my soul would be broken. I would be empty, a carcass of thoughts and perception, unable to fully experience anything, for I would be emotionless, an incomplete self. And with my memories abandoning me this fast, it is uncertain what will happen if we do separate completely. Now we are only holding hands.

I am being pulled, going backwards to I don't know where, watching with confusion and awkwardness the place I am in.

I found myself with an unexplainable sensation. There is another girl in this place, whom I believe I've seen before. But I don't remember from where. It may be a deja vu.

She is just floating, apparently feeling unwell. She is turning her head at one direction and then to the next, while tears come out of her eyes. It appears that she is feeling quite a lot, but she isn't capable of processing nor understanding anything that comes to her.

I've been trying to reach out for her, but the more I try, the more useless my efforts seem.

I believe that if she keeps being on her own, she just will end up beeing tormented by this overflow of sentimentalism.

The further we separate, the more anxious my mind becomes, becaus of how unnerving this footage is : a girl crying and screaming, while she is hugging herlself. She looks overwhelmed, seeking consolation in her own arms, but it doesn't look like she is getting any progress.

I can't close my eyes, no matter how much I think about it, it doesn't make any sense to leave someone alone in that state. But the more I resist, the faster I am being pulled, and now, we are too far away for me to help her out. For her, those endless feelings, are hell.

All of a sudden, the pulling greatly accelerates. My consciousness is starting to faint, and I can no longer think clearly, as if was falling asleep. The colors and forms present where the girl was, are no more. The faster I go, the darker and plainer everything becomes. I can't keep being awake anymore...

I've opened my eyes. The moonlight breaks through a small window on the wall, painting the room with a thin but visible blue.

My head's killing me. I have a terrible headache that makes me feel dizzy, and my body feels heavy, as if there was something over me restricting my movements.

"Was that...a dream?" I said to myself.

I am shivering. The only one piece of clothing that I possess is a white dress, which covers most of my legs and just a little of my arms from below my shoulders. It brings a small sensation of warmth to my body, meanwhile my feet are freezing because of me being barefoot.

Even though I don't feel so good, I've taken a look around me wishing to adress where am I. But it isn't easy, because I can almost see nothing, which is more than what there is in this tiny room. The muddy walls and ceiling are both made of stone just like this cold and lonely floor where I am sitting.

There is a small window with iron bars on the wall at my left, which lets an small amount of light come in to this place. The one at my right is just a plain and muddy wall.

The closed wooden door in the wall on front of me makes the final detail for the complexity of this place. It has no window, and looks like it is clean, making a pair with my apparently undirty dress. There is nothing else to look at, an empty room with me and the mud as residents.

I've tried to stand up, but it was useless. I am unable to move much due to my body's tiredness. I will leave standing for later...

Several minutes have passed in here, just for the headche's pain to be aceptable. I am now capable of thinking freely and without impediments. I've attempted to recall why I was in what seemed to be a cell, but then a simple but startling fact came to me: I couldn't remember anything at all.

I have a lot of questions, such as: "What am I doing in here?", "Why do I feel so exhausted?", "What is my name?", "Why am I wearing a white dress?".

My mind is blank, unable to think of past experiences of any kind. No matter how much I try, I simply can't picture none.

Repent murmurs interrupt my inner crisis. I hear various voices from the other side, arguing about something that I can't quite get right.

Abruptly, there is silence. A softer voice orders for the door to be open. An intense light starts to illuminate the room more and more as the door opens.

There is a woman wearing a fancy black dress at the front, standing on the door frame. She is looking at me with a face of what looks like amusement and joy. As tears have started to run down her face, she smiles at me.

"Oh, dear lord! I-I cannot believe it...! You are alive...! Renesse!" She said, with a tone of relief.

'Renesse'? Is that my name? And of course I am alive, am I not? Why wouldn't I be? Did something happened to me? What could that be? Do we know each other? Are we close? All of this questions just ran through my mind in a second, but above all of them only two seemed the most important and relevant.

"Who are you? What am I doing in here?" I said, with hope of her answers to help me out.

Her expression have changed dramatically to one of discomfort. Apparently, she didn't like my questions. Not one bit.

"..." She remained silent. The silence is awkward, and the more seconds that pass, the more anxious that I feel.

"Answer me!" I demanded, frustrated for not having a response.

"You can...speak?" She asked in disbelief.

"No...No...but that's not what we agreed on..." She said with a sense of anger and worriedness.

"What...?" I said, in total confusion.

"Ca-Can you remember what happened, let's say, at the Founder's Fountain, on last Tuesday's night?" She asked, with a face that told me that she was hoping for a negative response.

"No, I don't. I can't even think of what I did today! And no matter how much I try, I also can't remember a single thing about myself!" I explained.

She sighed profusely. Surrendered by what I stated.

"That will do." She said, while changing her expression to one of indifference.

"Guards! Take her to her room in the mansion." She said, as she turned her back on me and started to leave the cell.

"Wait! Don't leave!" I asked desperately, but it didn't matter. Even if in my mind the context of me beeing in here, my lost of memory, or she questioning why could I speak or if I remembered a fountain, all I wanted was answers, and if she leaves, I won't have them.

I am standing up with all my strength, using my arms and legs to leave the floor.

I then realized that my head isn't the only thing that isn't doing well. An almost instant stabbing pain traveled from my left ankle to the entirety of my body. The bone is broken.

A scream of distress and agony leaves my mouth, while my body fells to the ground.

She is turning her head fast at my direction. She is now coming at me with a face that only expresses fear.

"What was that?! Are you hurt anywhere?!" She asked, with apparent preoccupation about my leg's current state.

"Look at your ankle! What on earth happend to you?!" She asked, now rising her voice.

"You were supposed to make sure her boddy was fine!...ÖLISE!"She screamed.

Teeth being grind. Eyes showing nothing but rage. She looks furious. She is standing up and turning her back on me, starting to walk away. Is she angry because I can speak? Why is that something so bad ? Who is she? Why does she know my name? Did we know each other? Why is my ankle injured?

She is leaving the room and all I can hear are slurs and murmurs about this 'Ölise'.

She has left. I look at the silver plated guards of this condominium, watching them close the door and take away the source of light that allowed me to see with a sense of clarity. Now I am here alone again, even more confused. So many unknowns and not a single useful revelation. I guess I can only sit here and wait.