"Can you get home by yourself? Want noona to walk you?"
"What are you talking about. Go on, hurry."
"Tch, look at you all grown up, our Ji-an. You even know how to get home by yourself now."
"What are you saying."
"Anyway, get home safe. I'll see you on Sunday!"
"Yeah. I'm going."
Before I knew it, the evening had grown dark.
Kim Ji-woo watched Lee Ji-an's back as he turned away, waving her hand, and smiled softly.
After watching Ji-an for quite a while, Kim Ji-woo only turned around once he had disappeared from sight.
"He's really grown up. Really."
A smile hung on Kim Ji-woo's lips.
Goodness.
She never thought the day would come when she'd have to look up at that kid Ji-an.
Now he even pretended to be all adult-like.
Ji-an had always been like a little brother she wanted to take care of.
How should she put it.
It was strange how she kept thinking about him.
He didn't talk much and his personality seemed so timid.
She felt like if she didn't look after him, he'd go around not eating properly wherever he went.
That's why she had always stuck by his side.
It had started when she first talked to him on the first day of elementary school, finding him alone in the corner of the classroom. She always ate with him, and when mean kids picked on him, she would fight them off for him.
Like that, from age 7 to age 13.
She had raised him for six years, practically carrying him on her back.
Wow, she wouldn't have looked after him that much even if he were her actual little brother.
But, today.
The Ji-an she met after three years felt like looking at a different person.
He was still just as shy, but how should she put it...
'He got a lot taller, and his face too...'
Kim Ji-woo let out a little laugh.
Yeah.
He had become much more manly.
His height, his face, and even his mannerisms.
Before, he was like a cute little brother she wanted to protect, but now, how should she say...
Mm... mmhm! (Insert The Rock Face Meme)
Anyway, the vibe was very different.
But if she disliked the change? Not at all.
"He's grown up well. He really has."
Kim Ji-woo smiled with a sense of pride she couldn't quite explain, stretching widely as she gazed out at the streets of Florence.
A nearby streetlight dyed Kim Ji-woo's face red.
"...The streets are really beautiful."
Honestly, getting here had been really hard.
There had been so many things to worry about, and she had been on a plane for almost 20 hours.
Her whole body was exhausted.
But she felt good.
She didn't know why, but it felt like she would make a lot of good memories here.
Florence had given her a good feeling from the very first day.
ㆍㆍㆍ
After parting with Ji-woo.
The night air had grown quite cool, and feeling good about it, I hummed to myself as I walked home.
Then...
"..."
I looked around for a moment to confirm no one was there.
Then clenched my fist and quietly cheered.
"Yes...!"
I made it, I'm in...!
I can't believe I made the squad call-up list.
At least I put out the most urgent fire...!
"Huuuuu..."
Suddenly, all the strength drained from my body and a long sigh escaped on its own.
It was truly a sigh of relief.
If I hadn't even made the match roster, everything would have been exposed, but at least I made it in.
What a relief. What a relief.
Well, of course I knew I wasn't in a position to relax just yet.
I only made the call-up list—whether I'd actually get to play was still unknown.
Strictly speaking, the chances of not getting to play were actually much higher.
Still, it was far better than not making the roster at all.
She's already that excited about coming to watch the match.
It's way better to at least be sitting on the bench than to not be at the stadium at all.
Even if I'm stuck on the bench the whole match, I can make up some excuse somehow.
Yeah.
For now, it was truly a relief.
It was a relief, but...
"...What was I thinking, putting on another act again?"
I muttered to myself, kicking a stone rolling on the street.
Making the roster was good, but the bravado I somehow ended up displaying was another problem.
Geez.
I promised to score a goal.
On top of that, I even said that scoring wasn't even hard, spouting ridiculous bravado.
What was I even thinking.
Honestly, the words came out before I could think.
I just didn't want to show an unconfident side for no reason.
...No, actually.
It wasn't that I didn't want to show that side—I was worried that if I acted unconfident, she might catch on to my lies.
Anyway.
Now that it's come to this, I think it might actually be better to just stay on the bench.
If I go out and don't score, things will get weird.
Aah, I don't know.
Lies really are like snowballs and boomerangs at the same time.
One lie leads to another until suddenly it becomes too much to handle, and then it always comes back to hit me.
I headed home with worries piled high as a mountain.
"..."
But, how should I put it.
I feel a bit strange.
Normally, on days like this with a match coming up, I was always trembling with anxiety and nervousness.
The pressure of what if I can't do it would make my stomach hurt from the day before.
But right now, it's different.
Of course I'm nervous all the same, and it's true I'm worried about what happens if I mess up, or what if I can't even get on the field.
But how should I say it.
Rather than thinking 'what if I mess up,' the thought 'I really want to do well' comes first.
I don't really know what the difference between these two is, but anyway, that's how it was.
I wonder why.
Suddenly, Ji-woo's face came to mind.
Ji-woo, who I met after three years... still acted like she was my noona or something.
But strangely, it didn't feel the same as before.
"..."
Suddenly, I thought that I wanted to get on the field, even if I couldn't score.
ㆍㆍㆍ
Flash-!
When I opened my eyes, it was a bluish dawn.
I pressed the phone by my pillow to check the time.
Sunday, 6 AM.
Nine hours until kickoff.
I sat up in bed.
Then stared blankly into the dim blue void.
"..."
I just sat there blankly like that for about ten minutes.
Sleep had fled the moment I opened my eyes, so I wasn't trying to wake up.
I just quietly took in the static stillness unique to dawn.
Actually, I used to hate this feeling.
This peculiar feeling right before the sun rises.
It had been that way since I was very young.
Because I knew that once this darkness lifted, the sun would rise, and ultimately the same today as yesterday would repeat itself.
I hated the feeling of another day beginning.
Especially on days when there was a match.
I just wished the darkness would last a little longer.
I hated when the time came that I had to leave my room.
But... today is a little different.
I'm still incredibly nervous, and it's not like I have confidence that I can do well.
It might even be the day when my lies get exposed... but I find myself wishing the day would start soon.
"Let's wash up."
I could have stayed in bed longer, but I quickly washed up and came out.
After putting on socks and getting dressed, I went out to the living room.
In the kitchen next to the living room, there was breakfast that Dad had prepared simply.
Thankfully, it was sandwiches.
The cheese sandwiches that people here eat a lot are hard to mess up no matter who makes them, which is why this sandwich is in Dad's top 3 dishes.
I took some orange juice out of the fridge, poured it into a glass, and sat at the table to eat it with the sandwich.
Dad is always busy on weekends.
He works with tourists, so he leaves for work especially early in the mornings.
I knew that, but I had been sleeping in on weekends, so I hadn't realized he left this early.
I wonder if Dad could sleep in once I make more money later.
I ate 2 of the 4 sandwiches and put the rest in a lunch container, then put it in my bag.
I checked the time and it was still quite early... but I might as well leave a bit early.
It'll be nice to walk there leisurely.
The truth was, I was too nervous to sit still.
"Got everything."
Since it was a match after a long time, I checked several times to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, then put on my bag and shoes.
When I opened the door, the cool morning air greeted me.
Maybe it was because I had woken up while it was still dark.
The sun felt unusually bright today.
*
When I tried to recall when I last played in a match, surprisingly, it was last year.
Even though August was already passing this year.
It really had been a long time.
That makes sense... since I hadn't played a single match after coming to Fiorentina.
"...Hoo."
Thanks to that, my heart was pounding excessively as I sat in the locker room right before the match.
It wasn't just because it had been so long since my last match. Even when I was playing matches regularly, I was the type to get quite nervous.
Nervous? To be more precise, it was a feeling closer to anxiety.
I always went in and out of the bathroom constantly on match days.
To the point where it was my routine.
It was because I got so nervous that my stomach would feel uncomfortable.
The thought that I had to deliver was so strong.
I was filled with the thought that I couldn't show a disappointing performance.
People were strict with me.
When I think about when that started, it was from when I started hearing that I was talented.
From then on, everyone looked at me strictly.
I always had to show a performance that met those strict standards, and so matches were always a burden.
It's the same now.
My heart is pounding not only because it's been a while since my last match, but more because the thought that I have to deliver is so strong.
Ji-woo: I'm here!
Ji-woo: You have to keep your promise, okay?
Ji-woo: Look for me first when you score!
I checked the messages and let out a sigh with a smirk.
Come to think of it, not only has it been a while since a match, but it's been even longer since someone came to cheer me on like this.
Well, not counting scouts or people like that.
I mean someone who comes with the hope that I'll do well.
Having someone here to watch me versus not having anyone—the difference is really something you can feel.
The pressure feels about a hundred times greater.
I used to hate this feeling so much.
Ji-woo: Noona is watching!
But right now, how should I put it...
The pressure is the same, but I think the desire to do well is greater.
Yeah.
I just want to do well.
...Of course, I have to actually get on the field before I can do well or not.
"Alright, let's start heading out."
"Let's go, let's go."
At The Coach's signal, the boys in uniforms rose from their seats and filed out of the locker room.
I put my phone in the locker, exhaled a big breath, and left the locker room too.
I followed behind the boys walking in line.
After passing through the corridor and turning a few corners, a tunnel with an awning appeared.
Once we passed through that tunnel...
"Let's go, let's go!"
"Let's win!"
"Forza-!"
With the shouts of young men not yet fully grown, the space opened up wide in all directions, and intense sunlight and the lush green ground greeted us.
The boys in the starting lineup ran toward that ground, and I watched their backs as I headed for the bench.
Thinking that Ji-woo was watching from somewhere in the stands, I deliberately squared my shoulders and walked with composure.
If possible, today.
I found myself hoping that I too would get the chance to step onto that green ground.